Am I being unreasonable....had to attend to sick parent..

[misty]

I don't think you are being unreasonable. BUT it is possible that they were also being reasonable within their own constraints too. They may have their own reasons why they cannt / won't change things to fit around you. It may just be that this was a time where things couldn't quite work out so everyone's needs were met.
It is sad when that happens, and usually both sides end up feeling jibbed and misunderstood by the other. But it happens all the time.

We have this issue with DH's family often. We travel a LONG distance to see them, but our personal constraints / desires for the trip often mean a conflict with regards to who we see, for how long, and where. They want things their way (for whatever reasons - valid and not so valid) and we are unwilling to change our entire trip just to suit individuals (be it his mum or his siblings) because it means it does put us out significantly. I can see why 'they' prefer the options that fit around them and are easier for them, but they arent readier for us - and part of me cannt help but think 'hey, we came ALL this way, surely you are willing to come just that little bit, which is nothing in comparision". ((or at least not get stroppy just because we don't do what 'you' want))

So, no I don't think you are being unreasonable given your circumstances, BUT you don't really know what their circumstances are either and it is unreasonable to think that they should have to change whatever plans they have in place to suit your situation.

[tofu]

Misty I get what you are saying and perhaps so...but I just can't seem to gel it altogether..its totally out of my control now...
Now I have other things to deal with, getting garage door fixed,(because of robbery - mum is in a villa) taking mum to drs ....and I am not well myself.
It just might have to be we do this another time when mum is better.....I think it was just unfortunate she was unwell and had to go to hospital but I understand they cant change their travel plans....my brothers birthday is next month..perhaps we could do something else
But all is not lost my older brother and his wife can make the journey to see them this weekend...so they wont be totally without family
I wish I could wave a magic wand and mum is better so we can make the long journey.
I have to take care of her tomorrow so don't know how I could make it and commonwealth respite cant help this time.
I think I need to take a breather..it's difficult being a carer sometimes. All is not lost..he isn't 50 yet..we will have to do it another time.Sorry for rambing..my thoughts are all over the show.