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Another little scenario for you all...
If you knew your best mate's partner/wife was heavily pregnant, could have the baby any day, having false alarm after false alarm, would you continuously invite him out to places knowing full well he won't be able to make it?
And then when told that not sure as the baby could come any day, ask what about AFTER the baby is born?
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If I was a bloke and I had no clue then I probably would....men (rolls eyes)
My hubby's best mate is like this - no clue. I've had to lay down the law a few times
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I'd still invite him out, and give him the space to be an adult and make his own decisions.
At the end of both pregnancies I was keen for DH to get out as much as humanly possible because I knew it would be his last outing on his own for quite some time. He is an adult. He knows what he can and can't do, and still be a responsible husband, birth support person and father.
If DH didn't make it to the birth because he was at an event, it was DH's fault, and no one else's.
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Yeah, for sure. I don't think having a baby means all social interaction needs to stop. As Maruschke said, I'd put out the invite and then leave it to him to decide. DF and I do a lot together socially (most of our friends are couples and having babies themselves) so we tend to do a lot with another couple, but if the guys wanted to go out one night, I'd be all for DF going. Would either mean I get to have a bit of a girls night, or just relax at home by myself. I'd just make sure DF had his phone on and with him so if I needed to get hold of him, I could. For me it's no different to him having to go to work but obviously a lot more fun for him
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He's a grown up and can make his own decisions knowing what the consequences can be. If he is always contactable I can't see the problem, he is after all, out of the house at work all day as well.
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In the very final days, like DD3 being overdue, I did get frusterated with close friends asking ex/us to go to theirs every night. But thats because they have kids, only 2 & it would've been easier for them to come to us. And I didn't wanna go into labour with ex too drunk to drive me to the hospital.
But when blokes have mates, the mates usually have no clue. Which is fair enough. Especially if they're single without kids. Just let it go. It takes more energy to be annoyed with the friend than it would to ignore it
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Let me guess, this person doesn't have kids? Most men, pre kids have no idea.
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Yep, this. It would tick me off no end if people stopped invinting me (or my partner) out to events/gatherings/concerts/footy games/anything because I was close to having a baby. Patronising in the extreme.
If I/we/he doesn't want to go, then we won't, and are capable of making that decision for ourselves. Just because we are hainv a baby doesn't mean our life ends. We live in a modern world, with phones, radios, Facebook...he is a big boy, can make big boy decisions, like whether or not it is responsible to get smashed while out, and to accept the consequences of said decisions (like being too drunk to attend the birth of his child) but that is HIS choice to make, not his friends.
So yes, I would ask.
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Totally agree with this
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Ahh I'm all for DH going out when I get further along.
As long as he isn't drinking and has his phone on him and not the other side of town. I want him to still have a life.
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I was very happy for DH to go out at the end of my pg's, but as someone else mentioned - no drinking (no more than a beer or two) and phone switched on.
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He is big enough to make his decisions.. He has to set the balance between social life and home.. My DH doesn't go out much as he is a shiftworker, as are lots of his friends, so their shifts clash. But being heavily pregnant and I might go into labour, and/or have newborn and toddler at home never stopped him.
If you (or friend) don't want him to go, say so. If you don't he will assume there are no issues.
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I think it's perfectly acceptable for a friend to invite a mate out even if his wife is heavily pregnant, why wouldn't it be???
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That's the key really, isn't it? You need to be clear with each other and your friends what your expectations and needs are, be honest and up front and work out how to get what you need, and how he can get what he needs also. There are no issues, no matter what you are or aren't comfortable with, if there is honest communication and understanding happening.
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I always think its better to be invited and have to decline, than to have not been invited at all
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I'd still invite. Its not a nice feeling knowing you haven't been invited.
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The invite could be being nice not excluding him, or the fact some men have no clue!
As long as he has sense not to go far or drink I wouldn't worry. I always had the issue cause ex's idea of popping out meant drinking. Not good then.
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Maybe i am a little sour as this friend doesn't have children, doesn't want them and so he and his wife have stopped inviting us BOTH out as they know we would bring our DD and if we do get invited its always a 'no kids event'..
Plus on numerous occasions i have mentioned getting together for a BBQ at our place or dinner out and we always get "we will get back to you.." and 6 months passes and still no word
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