Athena, I know I am a bit late in on this, but just wanted to send you hugs.
I too have been a carer in the past - twice "full time" and once as an "occasional". It's hard work. Even harder than being a mum I reckon.

Quote: Family members keep stipulating what I need to do and a good friend of the person I care for phoned me today and has told me to (temp leave my husband) and go live with this person full - time.
This is NOT OK. Where are they in this picture? IMHO - I think you need a family meeting, to work out who is doing what.
You need to take care of yourself. You need access to respite care for this person. I realise that the person you are caring for doesn't want to go into care, but can you explain to them that if they don't do it for a while, to give you some respite, then it will have to happen full time?

I don't mean to sound harsh, as I really feel for you with this.