Boys in girls' changerooms - how old is "too old"?

[wysiwyg]

Ours simply suggests that over 6 year old use the appropriate change rooms, I don't have a seven year old yet but I am hoping that by that age I would feel they are able to dress themselves ok after swimming - if the child didn't feel comfortable then would use the family change rooms but if the child is happy to get themselves changed then I would be happy (boy or girl going into change rooms on their own - e.g. girl in womens if taken swimming by DH). My biggest worry would be the child taking forever by themselves.

[Floweryfields]

Not all pools have family changerooms though. Ours has just male and female with showers and toilets in the same building.

[lilima]

If I sent my 6 yo into the change room alOne, he would take hours to dress himself. And six is too young to be out of my sight in public.

[Novella]

Ive just been thinking about what to do with the girls DD1 is 5 and up until now we have been changing them in the viewing area. DH normally takes them so he does the getting dressed. They do have poncho towel things so when I go tend to leave that on and take their bathers off and put nickers on then take the poncho towel off and finish drying them and get them properly dressed.

It is a swimming school thpugh so all parents/grandparents and kids

[nickle730]

I think another factor to this conundrum is family makeup. I have children of both genders. They shower or bathe together most days and DH and I often jump in also. DS has seen a fanny every day of his life, just as DD's regularly see a penis. Quite frankly, my children pay no mind whatsoever to another person's nudity - seen it all before. However, we had a family over a few weeks ago which is made up of mum dad and three little girls. The kids ran around outside, got hugely muddy and decided to have a bath before putting on pj's. DS chose to shower alone in the same bathroom and those three little girls (aged 2-6) were quite fascinated by his penis. They were pointing and giggling, and the youngest tried to touch him. (DS moved away and said 'that's my private part, you don't touch someone else's private parts!). So, I know that I could comfortably take my DS into a female change room (he is 6 almost 7) and he would not even look at the naked women and girls, but those little girls in a male change room would probably be somewhat overwhelmed! I don't take DS into female change rooms only because it may make others uncomfortable. We use the family change room, discreetly change under a towel or wrap up and change at home.

As for the toilets, I agree that it is rare for a child to be murdered in a public toilet. Unfortunately, it is NOT terribly uncommon for a lone child to be inappropriately approached or touched in a public toilet, usually the male toilets. For those looking for statistics, I have none. I work for an emergency service and over the years I have attended several cases of children who have been assaulted in public toilets. My brother, when he was 11, was held up against a wall and touched by a man in the Myer toilets. It is my choice not to send my children into a public toilet alone, and if our only other option is the disabled toilet, then that's what we use. I can honestly say that not once have I opened the toilet door to find that we have delayed a disabled person.

What exactly is a helicopter parent? One who chooses to be more vigilant than another? I think it's a ridiculous term, but go ahead and call me one... I still won't be sending my little kids to a public toilet alone.

[wysiwyg]

I think that is people's main concerns isn't it? Sexual harassment or assault. 6 seems very young to be on their own getting changed with a bunch of strangers.

I suppose I just work on an evidence based approach, and based on what I have seen in the change rooms and how DH says the mens change rooms are, I don't see them as places full of danger but full of other parents and children (assuming you go when the pools are busy which probably would be the case with older children talking about as would be at school during quieter times) and people look out for each other. I suspect anyone looking even slightly suspicious in change rooms would be quickly reported. For me the benefits of encouraging independence by letting children get changed on their own outweigh any perceived risk.

I don't think staffing changing rooms is the answer at all, apart from the expense I don't think having people there specifically to watch over people getting changed is a bit odd, and is the sort of thing that is more likely to lead to problems (abuse more likely to come from people who are familiar/known rather than strangers) than solve anything.

I do think public toilets are different to changing rooms at pools, due to the way they are used and the fact people are in and out. Is up to the parent, and I wouldn't call it helicopter parenting if don't let children go to public toilets on their own, however I do think that if parents find it appropriate then that is also fine - I was quite shocked recently about a guy in Queensland being charged/threatened with being charged for letting his 10 year old go into a shopping center and buy sushi and use the toilets while he waited in the car (car had trailer on he didn't want to leave).

[maybebaby2012]

I think another factor to this conundrum is family makeup. I have children of both genders. They shower or bathe together most days and DH and I often jump in also. DS has seen a fanny every day of his life, just as DD's regularly see a penis. Quite frankly, my children pay no mind whatsoever to another person's nudity - seen it all before. However, we had a family over a few weeks ago which is made up of mum dad and three little girls. The kids ran around outside, got hugely muddy and decided to have a bath before putting on pj's. DS chose to shower alone in the same bathroom and those three little girls (aged 2-6) were quite fascinated by his penis. They were pointing and giggling, and the youngest tried to touch him. (DS moved away and said 'that's my private part, you don't touch someone else's private parts!). So, I know that I could comfortably take my DS into a female change room (he is 6 almost 7) and he would not even look at the naked women and girls, but those little girls in a male change room would probably be somewhat overwhelmed! I don't take DS into female change rooms only because it may make others uncomfortable. We use the family change room, discreetly change under a towel or wrap up and change at home.

As for the toilets, I agree that it is rare for a child to be murdered in a public toilet. Unfortunately, it is NOT terribly uncommon for a lone child to be inappropriately approached or touched in a public toilet, usually the male toilets. For those looking for statistics, I have none. I work for an emergency service and over the years I have attended several cases of children who have been assaulted in public toilets. My brother, when he was 11, was held up against a wall and touched by a man in the Myer toilets. It is my choice not to send my children into a public toilet alone, and if our only other option is the disabled toilet, then that's what we use. I can honestly say that not once have I opened the toilet door to find that we have delayed a disabled person.

What exactly is a helicopter parent? One who chooses to be more vigilant than another? I think it's a ridiculous term, but go ahead and call me one... I still won't be sending my little kids to a public toilet alone.

This pretty much sums up my attitude as well.