Ditto what everyone else has said. You do what you and DD want. If people can come, great - if not, great. You'll see them on Christmas Day anyway. And can she have a party with school friends on her actual birthday? Sorry but SIL is out of line - this is not her decision. This problem will never go away so time to do what suits you and your little family.
ETA Sorry I posted while you were posting! Sounds like some great ideas you have happening. And as someone who has done their Christmas shopping, no you're not thinking too far ahead! Don't forget you'll have the benefit of daylight saving so you could even do a lovely twilight party, and if there are Christmas lights nearby you could go look at them. Even a pool party at that time of year with a bbq would be great. I'm sure it will be awesome!
I have an 8 year old Christmas Eve baby. I agree - have a party that suits her school friends. At that age it' all about friends and lets be honest, for 8 year olds, the old rels aren't the main game. And other parents will LOVE you - they have time to pick up the Christmas Laybys and do a little last minute shopping without the 8 yr old.
My DD2's birthday is on 31st Dec and thats when we will be having her party. I know some people will have other plans, new years eve parties ect but it is her day not a week after or whenever suits everyone else so thats when we will celebrate. I know mil won't be there cause she is going camping but its not like she comes to DS or DD1s birthday parties either. I think you should do it on your DDs birthday, its her day and if people don't make it, it is there lost they are the ones missing out.
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