Getting out of babysitting

[*LittleMissSummer*]

A friend of mine asked me what i was doing tomorrow, thinking she wanted to hang out i said i wasn't doing anything but she is asking for me to babysit her two kids while she works all day. I have only ever babysat once but that was a very long day, her daughter is fine and easily amused but her son is very hyper and doesn't listen to instructions and bullies my DD. Plus the other problem i have is she will be having her DP come and collect them in the afternoon and i don't get along with him so don't want him coming to my house.

What is a polite way or good enough excuse to not babysit??

I feel so horrible trying to come up with a reason why i can't. But i just dont have the energy.

[Violet Star]

Could you just baby sit her daughter rather than both? What would have been her original plan if she was going to work?

[*LittleMissSummer*]

I don't want to offend her if i say just her DD.

Thats the thing she doesn't have a set plan basically everyday she sees who can babysit the next day...

[Rowellen]

Just say you have remembered you have an appt or something on. You don't have to tell her what.

Then suggest she enrol her kids in cc.

[Charlotte91]

Migraines are always a good one, if you want to lie.
Or upset tummies or possible cold/flu onset.

People know I get severe migraines so that's my go-to if I really need to get out of something.

[feeb]

Tell her your DD is vomiting.
Or that you have a headache or gastro.

Not nice to have to lie to a friend but if you cant tell her you dont feel up to 3 kids may be only way.

[*LittleMissSummer*]

I'm thinking i will just say that i would love to but i have a stack of housework to do and that DD is coming down with a cold which are both true i will just leave out that i really dont want to.

[Boo Boo]

I don't want to offend her if i say just her DD.

Thats the thing she doesn't have a set plan basically everyday she sees who can babysit the next day...

Asking your friends to look after your kids on an ad-hoc basis is one thing, ie, dentist appointment, whatever, but if you are working then IMO you do need to have some regular care organised not just seeing 'who can babysit the next day'. But your right we don't know her circumstances but to help herself out maybe she does need to look into some CC or FDC to help ease the stress for herself of rushing around trying to get babysitting at the last minute.

[Phteven]

i just dont have the energy.

Why lie?
Just tell her that you don't have the energy to deal with 3 children for the day especially when one of them is so wonderfully active and inquisitive.

[delphmoon]

Just be honest.....3 kids are alot to manage when ur not used to it. Something like " I'm sorry, I'm not that confident in looking after them" is a more grown up response. The other excuses like " oh I have migraine" or " my DD has a cold" are obvious lies IMO.


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[mrscricket]

I think delphmoon's reply is the best one because I think she will just keep asking if she is always on the lookout for babysitters. There is only so many times the 'I'm sick/busy/moving to the moon' excuse can work.

[[M]umma[M]ia]

Just be honest with her.

[*LittleMissSummer*]

Just be honest.....3 kids are alot to manage when ur not used to it. Something like " I'm sorry, I'm not that confident in looking after them" is a more grown up response. The other excuses like " oh I have migraine" or " my DD has a cold" are obvious lies IMO.

You make a very good point.

I think i will just have to bite the bullet and be honest. And if she reacts badly to it then thats her loss i am only being honest and i really am not her personal babysitter i too have my child to raise and i too work. I have never relied on her for babysitting.

[peanutter]

I'd just let her know that you're not up for looking after 3 kids ...

You have a baby, you have a job, and IMHO if you let her know straight up you're not willing to look after 3 kids (which is COMPLETELY fair enough) then she hopefully won't ask you again next time she needs someone to mind them.

If you give an excuse like housework, appointments, illness etc then I think you're leaving her with the impression that you would, except for this particular hurdle ... which leaves you as a good option for next time ...

Aside from everything else, it might be good for her to hear an unapologetic response that no, you just aren't going to do it ... which perhaps will prompt her to look into some long term options if she plans on continuing to work, and doesn't have a family or friend who will consistently mind her kids ...

Good luck

[Astrolady]

When someone asks me what I am doing, I never reply with "nothing" or "not much" I always ask why first. I wouldn't lie about it either. If you don't want to baby sit her kids, you don't want to baby sit simple as that. If she has an issue with that then it is her issue.

[MissEm]

Yeah, in my experience you need to speak up and be honest, or she will continue to take advantage. No point lying, because what are you going to say next time she has trapped you into babysitting?

Honesty is the key..you can't go wrong with it.

[ladybirdflies]

I agree with the replies about telling the truth. It sounds like she will ask again, so if you can, an honest conversation will give your relationship a chance to take a step forward and really grow. When talking about it you will truly see if you can walk forward together.
I have heard of people doing swaps and having an actual system where you trade hours, this works well if you are both looking for extra support!

[Floweryfields]

Just tell her the truth - lies always catch you out eventually.