Depends on the situation. None of my friends are racist but a lot of my family members are.

I can't cut out mum and dad and, over the years, I've learnt that I'm not going to change their mind so there's no point in trying to have a respectful debate. They're overseas so we don't see them very often so I guess these days if we were heading down that track I'd just say something like, "we're not going to agree on this so let's talk about something else."

DP's brother and SIL are very ignorant on this sort of thing but they LIKE to talk about stuff. They don't make throwaway racist comments but are more issues-based eg. wanting to talk about immigration/boat people etc. ALthough we have vastly varying views, I think exposing my daughters to different opinions and viewpoints especially if people can argue their corner is good. Though if we were talking about it every time we saw them, it would get old, like any subject. I think if you're going around in circles on the same topic then it's best just to say, "let's agree to disagree."

I guess the litmus test for me would be whether I thought that their values mostly agreed with my own but if a certain subject was a bit of a "blip" in the relationship.

If I had friends who were engaging in racist name-calling it would definitely make me question the friendship and yes, I probably would cut them out.