the way that was worded was plain RUDE!! sorry. i can understand how exxy a wedding can be. but IMO the ceremony is by far the most important part! its a little unfair to have one with out the other (but i love seeing brides walk down the ale) and its a little rude to a) have that in small print and b) where the heck is the prices if you're paying for your meal??
..or tinks are you hiding a money tree that none of us know about ...
If it was me I would be ringing the restaurant and asking if they have a set price for this wedding and what is on the menu. Does this include drinks.
My mum went to a birthday dinner awhile back and it they were asked to pay for their meal after they had eaten. She was not impressed and thankfully had just enough cash on her.
I think invitations should have clear details if they want their guests to pay their own way. This should have who is invited, the costs involved and menu.
How many people have cash in their pockets these days and some places don't like you paying by card when the bill is split.
when i got married we did it in a rush as my Pop was sick, we wanted him to be involved so we planned and did our whole wedidng in 4 weeks. We sent a nice little poem and a menu with out invites that asked the guests to pay for their own meals and we looked around for a place that was reasonable. Our guests paid $25pp. For us it wqs the only way that we could celebrate our wedidng with everyone that was important to us.
And we did have a bar tab
I think the way that the invite has been worded is quite rude and alot more thought could have been put in to it. but i dont think the request is rude iykwim!!
i too find it strange tho that you are not invited to the ceremony. we had more people at our ceremony that were not actually invited to the reception!
I would like to disagree. i mean how else are you meant to ask for people to pay for their own meals?
Some people need to be told straight out what is expected of them.
When I got married my husband and I had already been living together for ages, so we did not need any gifts. I said to people "no gifts please" and just had a very small wedding.
Some people gave us cash, some people gave us small but well thought out gifts (like a cross stitch of the county both my husband and I grew up in, with towns and villages that we lived in / went to school in all highlighted. Some gave us nothing. But I didn't get married for the gifts, and whilst I would have loved heaps of cash that was hardly in the spirit of the occasion of a solemn lifelong commitment to another person.
I think it is rude to ask for money. If you don't want stuff, say "no stuff please" but to ask for cash is just crude. Just my 2c.
Asking people to contribute to their own meal though, I am divided on that. It just seems different to straight out asking for cash.
Whats with the private ceremony but inviting to the reception?! Ive heard of it being the other way around to cut costs but I think what they are doing is rude with a capitol R.
We had an open ceremony though, so basically invited everyone we knew including workmates, but then we had a smaller reception for just closer friends and family.
it was tricky wording the invitation in such a way as to not sound rude and we deliberated over it for a while and got a few opinions on how to word it. We wanted them there but really couldnt afford a big do, so we wrote
"We would love the pleasure of your company after the ceremony and are asking if you would like to join us for dinner at 'such and such' a place. The cost is $25 each so we appreciate it if you could contribute this cost in lieu of a gift."
I know its completely out of the ord, but our friends and family really didnt seem to mind, we told them before hand and many of them still bought gifts and no one turned down the invite. I guess its just like meeting friends out for dinner except the occasion is a bit more special.
The wording is a bit confronting, but I can totally share the sentiment behind it. We had a $120/head wedding reception because we really wanted a kick**** party, and we could afford it. But had our financial situation had been different, obviously we would have chosen more modest provisions, and if we had to - asked people to pay.
As for the quality - if you're paying less than $50pp, you won't get top class food. I could only imagine the comments if you were asked to pay that or more...
At the price we paid, I was VERY VERY annoyed at the people that had RSVP'ed & then didn't turn up (or buy us a gift in lieu!). Those very expensive (and delicious) dinners could have gone to some other friends that really wanted to go.
We asked for no gifts at our engagement (as it was at a bar & I didn't want to cart stuff home!) and then our guests past the hat around & doubled our tab! That was a great present!
I have heard of poeple having an open ceremony and than a smaller, invite only, reception..but never the other way around.
Geeze...we don't want you to share one of the most important moments in our life but, hey, we heard you're fun to party with so we'd love you come along to the reception..but you'll have to pay for your own dinner.
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the way that was worded was plain RUDE!! sorry. i can understand how exxy a wedding can be. but IMO the ceremony is by far the most important part! its a little unfair to have one with out the other (but i love seeing brides walk down the ale) and its a little rude to a) have that in small print and b) where the heck is the prices if you're paying for your meal??
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