Keeping secrets

[AnyDream]

I would like to point out that some partners are blabbier than others, so I don't think there is a problem with asking someone to keep something to themselves, per se. But the OP's friend was warned the OP would share with her partner, and chose to talk anyway. That becomes the friend's problem & not the OP's. Clearly the OP has a high degree of confidence in her DH's ability to keep confidences, but if you had a blabbier partner, a person might need to exercise more discretion in what she tells him (or not).

FWIW I think there are various reasons why people might spill secrets that have been told to them, from the thrill of having social currency, malicious intent, lack of thought, carelessness, drunkenness, assuming (because time has passed or because of the present company) that the secret has become common knowledge. It seems to me that if you want your secret preserved you should just keep it to yourself in the first place.

But it's totally not cool to "cover" for someone else's choice to lie (unless there was a greater moral imperative, eg, you were lying to protect someone from unjust harm or persecution).