Settling someone else's baby

[SunnyRain]

I'm glad I read this, I always thought offering to help would be poorly received like I was telling them they weren't being a good enough mum. I usually give them a smile to try to show I understand, but it probably looks more like a grimace.

So now I know I've been wrong about this. You learn something new every day.

[*LittleMissSummer*]

I'm glad I read this, I always thought offering to help would be poorly received like I was telling them they weren't being a good enough mum. I usually give them a smile to try to show I understand, but it probably looks more like a grimace.

So now I know I've been wrong about this. You learn something new every day.

I think it all depends on the mother, some may not want any help and some would really appreciate it, like i did!



I did get some not so nice looks from people when i was wizzing around the store,

[Calluna]

I'm glad I read this, I always thought offering to help would be poorly received like I was telling them they weren't being a good enough mum. I usually give them a smile to try to show I understand, but it probably looks more like a grimace.

So now I know I've been wrong about this. You learn something new every day.

Exactly this. I was always too scared to ask, now if Im having a confident day I might offer!

[forshelby]

Yes, I would offer to help with either of the above, and have done on several occasions. Funnily enough, nobody has ever offered to help me, under any circumstances. Maybe I looked too cranky

I also like to offer comiserations or encouragement when appropriate. I saw a mother struggling with her toddler having a tantrum at the shops, and watched on as most passers by gave judgemental looks or rolled their eyes. She was disciplining him verbally (appropriately) and I walked over and said "You're doing a fantastic job. Hang in there!" A huge grin spread across her face, replacing the frown and exasperated expression. It made me feel good to validate her, too.

Of course there are the examples of inappropriate 'assistance'. Like when I had a justice of the peace launch into a spiel about how I was so lucky and that her son and DIL had just miscarried and blah blah blah. I was enraged that she would be so presumptuous. She then went on to tell me how that if I loved DS more he would cry less. Needless to say............. I put her in her place with a complaint to her supervisor.

I think as long as an offer of assistance comes from a place of genuine concern and caring, there's no harm in asking!

On the flip side, sometimes if I'm in an antisocial mood, I get tired of people initiating conversations with DS or me about DS. Yes, I know he's adorable, yes, I know he's irresistable. But I don't feel like having a 10 minute conversation with everyone in the line at the checkout every single time. LOL.....

[*LittleMissSummer*]

On the flip side, sometimes if I'm in an antisocial mood, I get tired of people initiating conversations with DS or me about DS. Yes, I know he's adorable, yes, I know he's irresistable. But I don't feel like having a 10 minute conversation with everyone in the line at the checkout every single time. LOL.....

OMG! I totally get you! While i think its great that others think my DD is beautiful i get kind of sick of hearing it, i used to avoid my local woolies like the plague as what would be a 5 minute trip would be 30 mins due to people stopping me to talk.

[Calluna]

I hear you Forshelby, I write a thread on people telling me my son has beautiful curls. I just want to get all hysterical and scream "omg I never noticed!!!" Or "don't fking touch him! I don't care how lovely his curls are!" It makes my skin crawl when strangers play with his hair *shudders*