surname of bub when parents have different surnames

[allycat06]

I hyphenated my surname when I married DH, DH kept his the same and our son has DH's name only. DH is a bit of a traditionalist and didn't want to hyphenate DS's surname so we compromised and his middle name is my dad's name. Ideally if it was just my choice I would have done it as there are only girls left in my family so that's the end of the name. It took DH a while to accept that I wanted to keep my surname as well as take on his. He thought it only made me half his wife hahaha

[fionas]

It was a no-brainer for us as I have a truly appalling surname and while wild horses wouldn't have me changing it for a man, I'm not willing to inflict it on my daughter. So she has her dad's as will our next one. I'm actually thinking of changing my surname to my daughter's middle name - Mackenzie - then there will be a link. If this one's a boy he can also have the middle name Mackenzie. But then I kinda like doing things a bit back to front.

If we both had acceptable surnames, I don't think I'd do the hyphenated thing either. It has English upper-class overtones for me that I don't wish to emulate. However, I would consider coming up with a new surname that combined the two old surnames. Or maybe having one as a middle name rather than officially part of the surname.

[Cherished]

I have hubby's surname but if I didn't and I wanted the kids to have my surname as well I would use mine as the middle name.

[suse]

We did the hyphenated thing, it just seemed more democratic. We would have preferred to choose a family surname but couldn't think of something that resonated without sounding utterly pretentious (that is, less pretentious than the hyphenated name we've saddled our poor kid with). And to be honest, we couldn't be bothered with the paperwork LOL.

We'll work on something though. Maybe we'll get hitched one day and do it then.

[HotI]

Thanks for all the different ideas. Still working on what we will do.

A BB member once told me that should she and her DH have a boy, they will give him DH's surname, and should she have a girl, then her surname would be passed down. I really really liked this sentiment.

I have heard this before, where the Mum gets to choose the girl name or surname and the Dad gets to choose for their son. To be honest, i find it quite disturbing, that somehow a female child belongs more to the Mum and a male child belongs more to the Dad.

[~Gee_Whizzy~]

I hyphenated my name when i got married, and my DD also as the hyphenated name, as will any future kiddies we have

[Persephone1]

I didn't take DH's name when we married. Bub will have my surname.

The reasoning:

1. Why not? (This is probably the strongest reason for us);
2. DH's surname is really bad. It's got "Nut" in it. 'Nuff said;
3. DH's family is huge and male-dominated. Mine is female-dominated and end-of-the-line. This of itself was not something we were worried about in that our kids can choose what to name their own children, but it was a consideration anyway;
4. I like my name. It's part of my identity. So again, why shouldn't my kids have my name?

I feel quite good about Aristotle having my name, quite proud and happy. But it was originally DH's idea anyway. If he hadn't wanted it then we'd be having long discussions about what to do - because neither of us wanted to hyphenate.

I have asked DH if he wants Aristotle to have his (DH's) first name as his middle name. DH is thinking about it. I wouldn't mind if he wanted his surname as Aristotle's middle name, but he's not keen. Again...it's got "Nut" in it...

Catherine Deveny (Opinion write for The Age) wrote an Opinion piece on this issue a week ago. It was called "Named and Shamed" or something. It was interesting (and emotive and inflammatory, in true Catherine-style). (ETA the article is here: http://www.theage.com.au/opinion/nam...0223-p0ty.html )

Good luck deciding!