Talking about childcare

[luna moth]

Pretty much everything wysiwyg said. And yes, MadB, I am self conscious of my answer. I don't work, but it's not all lattes and play centres. We budget so very tightly for me to be able to stay at home, because it is really important to me. And I worry that by being honest I will make the other person feel uncomfortable about what I am saying. I don't judge anyone, but I have this dreadful fear that I will be perceived as judging.
And then the secondary bit is that yes, Tinks, places are really scarce, but I don't know why, because most of the places near here aren't very good. And I find it really hard when someone gives me a recommendation for their centre, because, from inside the industry, I know things that they couldn't and I wouldn't use it and just don't know if/how to relay that.

I also find it really hard to deal with questions like "when do you get a break?" And "how do you fill your days?" (Both have happened, unfortunately people don't have chody's filter when it comes to this)

I appreciate everyone's perspectives, but I don't feel any less anxious about it. I probably never will.

[Teeki]

In 2.5 years I've never asked anyone if their child goes to childcare. The only reason I would is if I'm looking for somewhere new and want to know what theirs is like. If your response was simply no, then that's that. I might say I wish I could stay at home and not use childcare. Because I do understand the budgeting pressure a lot of families are under in order for one parent to stay home, whether or not care is used is not usually a flippant choice. I hope you don't come across too many judgmental people.

And if I knew you, and I knew you were in the industry, I would *love* to know your thoughts on local centres. I love where DD goes, she seems to like it and from what I see the carers are great, but she's there for 7 hours that I never see. If there are things going on there that would make someone in the industry not use the centre, I'd want to know.