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For me personally, what the guests wear isn't the biggest part of the day, it's probably the smallest, kwim?
BUT for some couples it IS a big deal. I think it's just a matter of respect for guests to follow the dress code, or at least make an effort.
It doesn't have to cost a lot or even mean new clothes - you clean yourself up, wear your best, make an effort & it usually shows.
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For me, the fact that some family members wore white to my wedding was upsetting. That some people turned up to the evening in jeans (to a ruddy CASTLE!) didn't thrill me. I didn't stress and I was nice to everyone, but it still irks me that people would do that. I had a super-formal wedding, btw. As you may expect from me!
Yes, the day's about me getting married and starting a new life and others witnessing and celebrating that. But they should respect how important it is with their clothes! I have tops I could fall out of: I wear a little singlet underneath to bring the neckline up. Just a plain white vest-top means I look decent. I've been to weddings where the skirt of the dress has been above my knees. But even so, it wasn't a stripper dress! Showing too much flesh or ANY underwear should be an immediate "no-no" to anyone. I've been to weddings in outfits that cost under £50: they looked nice and pretty. You don't have to spend the earth to look decent.
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I think many people no longer see weddings as the special, life-long beginning of an incredible journey and partnership of love and commitment. And in all honesty, it is reflected in the way we carry ourselves and in our clothing. unless otherwise specified, weddings are a special dress occasion. even if they are on a beach there is an expectation that effort is placed. and i am not against jeans and clean cut shirts. as long as that person has made an effort itms.
i reckon that if you are going to someone's wedding to share and support their moment of public declaration of love...then i would take that as a great opportunity to show that support not only by rocking up, but by frocking up.
we had some family memebers turn up in thongs and shorts and baseball caps. to me, this just looked as though they got dressed on their way to do some sightseeing and stopped by to say g'day. and it kinda made me feel as i though i wasnt worth the effort itms. and i am by no means a shallow kinda person, but ffs, a wedding is a really special day, and generally not something you do often (elizabeth taylor excepted lol) so for a family member especially to turn up wearing their normal garb without any thought to the setting or the ceremony lacks care.
but these are just my two cents
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You ladies have all made great points.
Thankfully the reception was alot nicer and everyone made an effort to look nice, still a few trampy girls but all nicely dressed.
The only thing that urked me about the reception was the lack of respect for the couple who got married, i did not hear any of the speeches given as we were at a back table (31 tables, 400 guests) and the tables near us people would not stop talking, even though we had asked them nicely to pipe down.
Then it got worse from there...
Oh each table was a 1 litre bottle of Hennessy to as you can imagine quite a few people got drunk, our table were very good with the bottle, didnt even drink half of it. But then some very drunk guy came up to me grabbed the bottle grabbed my glass and told me to have a drink for him, i kindly declined and he started stumbling over me almost spilling the entire bottle on me.. then he proceeded to go from table to table asking people to have a drink with him, he then started vomitting everywhere. It was a disgusting sight and ruined my night for me.
But all in all was a great day and i am so happy for the couple who got married.
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DH's dad talked all the way through his sister's speech, apparently - my uncles were ready to belt him
Something I would invite if it wasn't my wedding and they could get away with it
And the guy who got drunk - what a tosser! Happy you had a good night though, aside from a couple of hiccups
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Well I'm going to admit to being just a little fascinated when someone's got just a bit too much boosie on display, young or old, fat or thin...there's a fine line there as to how much is too much. However, I think that's a lesser crime than people making no effort with their appearance for someone else's special occasion.
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I went to a good friends wedding in Bundaberg last year and their was a couple drinking rum and smoking ciggarets while wearing akubra hats during the CEREMONY!!! Thats bad!!!
Definately agree, dress up people! Especially if the dress code is specified on the invite.
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i work at a wedding venue place and some of the clothing we see is crazy. espcially all the little tiny dresses. i seen a few on the weekend wearing shirts as dresses. and i know that it was a shirt cause i was goign to buy it.
Also at my own wedding we had a semi formal a few people wore jeans but i didnt mind because they wore a nice button up shirt with it and it looked respectable. but one of the guys wore jeans and a shirt that made it look liek jsut around the house clothes not even goign out for tea clothes so i was a bit put off by that. it was only because he was the only one so it stood out heaps esp in the photos.
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I would be very offended if anybody turned up in a very short dress or just plain clothes. But i will be only having really close friends and family. So i will be able to specify what i want them to wear and what i dont.
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This is in fact one of my major irks. I agree people just don't seem to want to get dressed up. I think if you don't get dressed up for a wedding then what do you get dressed up for??? Even if the invitation said casual I would still wear something special that I wouldn't wear everday. We went to a black tie wedding where the ceremony was held at the Melbourne Cathedral so you can imagine it was pretty super-duper, and a guy turned up in jeans and his partner in a singlet top - I give up. Yes, I agree people do seem to have different standards of what is appropriate or not. I would be really peeved if someone had turned up casual to our wedding which was also black tie....everyone was dressed great.
As for the drunk man - what can I say - there is one at every wedding, if it's not a fight that breaks out, there's a drunk to be sure. As soon as people see free booze they think it's all on, puhleese.
Laurin x
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Exactly, it makes you wonder what occasion they would class as something you wear your best clothes to.
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We went to DH's cousin's (who we hardly know) wedding a few months after we got married - 400 guests, 40 degrees on the day, and there was a blackout at the reception venue - so everyone drank and drank and drank to stay cool - some of DH's extended family are quite racist and I am mixed race (anglo-indian...though most people think I look italian) - I was racially abused by a 17 year old friend of the family who was drinking wine straight from the bottle, and later taken away in an ambulance because he passed out. There were people standing on tables drinking and spilling wine all over themselves - the whole event was disgraceful! At the end of the night, the brides mum (DH's aunt) came up to us and started having a dig about how they did their wedding the right way, with all the family there to celebrate and with a mass at their ceremony...having a go at us because we didn't extended family to our wedding and didn't have mass because neither DH or I are catholic. I couldn't believe it...
DH is from a very big irish catholic family, and they have very specific ideas about what is and isn't appropriate behaviour - not just at weddings! Our wedding was 70 people, with the reception in a bar, with finger food - immediate family and close friends, plus an uncle & aunt from each side of DH's family to make sure the grandparents were ok (both sets of grandparents travelled from interstate). DH's mum died of cancer only 6 weeks before our wedding and we nearly postponed it - we decided not to and had a really special, intimate day - we didn't specify a dress code but everyone was dressed semi-formal...I didn't really notice on the day but I am glad that all the people we love made the effort for our wedding
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I agree with LZ - I do not like ladies in white, or anyone in black at weddings.
I think inappropriate behaviour and attire is indicative of a poorly selected guest list. If they don't know what's appropraite to do/say at said couple's special day, then they clearly don't know the couple well enough to deserve to share in the celebrations.
I am fairly well known for turning up to weddings in <$10. The reason I am known for doing it, is that someone compliments my dress, and I proudly announce that it's second hand. Classy on a budget is easier than most people think.
Our wedding was very low-key. A quote from the night was "This is the best wedding ever - I can wear my sunnies on my head like the groom is, and go barefoot like the bride is!" We specified collars and dresses on our invite though, and left it to imagination. DH did rip a tie off one of our guests before the ceremony!
But, yeah, I also agree that at the end of the day, the couple still end up married, so the purpose of the event is achieved, and let's all stop whingeing! (in theory this works. in practice, I love a good b*tch session about who wore what)
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