What to do...If anything!

[ladybird11]

So my DD (almost 5) has a friend and I've become friends with the mum, lets call her K .

Recently during play dates etc we generally stay at the playdate location and chat as it is quite convenient that we both have a DS about the same age too - so its like a double play date.....

Anyway, I'd been noticing that K absolutely stresses out when she loses sight of her DS for more than 20 seconds (literally), she's almost frantic (our DS's are both 3); but if her DD goes AWOL its a blaze 'meh' type response. If there is a little fight between her DS and DD she'll 98% of the time side with her DS - even when he may be at fault (I know the kids are all so young they're still learning boundaries etc). Anyway, in summary I am seeing a lot of favouritism to her DS, to the point I felt a little sad for her DD. She says the playdates held at my house are different because I interact with the kids (I just set up art and craft activities, obstacle courses etc, nothing over the top). She said when the playdates are at her house 'the girls are so quiet, they just go in her DD's bedroom and colour in'.

One day K told me how 7 years ago she'd lost her son at the age of 5 to a brain tumour - things then clicked (for me) as to why she may be seemingly favouring her DS over her DD. Maybe, I dunno, I've never been in that position.

Lately she's been complaining how her DD has been really acting out against her DS and as she explains it 'its like DD wants to make her DS cry and is happy when she can actually make him cry'. So right there is another reason for K to protect her DS.

She has been asking her FB friends what she can do to stop the fighting and a part of me wants to say 'pay attention to your DD' and so far the other part of me saying 'shut your mouth Ladybird its not your place' has reigned supreme. I just feel sad for her DD, she's such a polite little girl (whilst at our house anyway lol)....

Anyone with some insight?! I know its a hard call as no one knows what goes on behind closed doors, but just from the stories K tells me - lets just say they're all geared towards her DS.

I'm certainly not passing judgement on K, its a case of she has been asking for advice / help and I'm not sure if its best I give my 2 cents.....