I'm with Junglemum, I think 3 months is more than acceptable for someone who has had a baby. I think everyone knows that you have been busy. Plus some people (like myself) can be a little bit late with the congratulations etc so it gives them more time.
LOL I put the same type of pressure on to myself. I think I got all the cards out just before Christmas (to save on postage) so DD would have been 6-8 weeks.
There is NO WAY I am doing that this time round. I think people will be lucky to get a Christmas card this year considering we're due around the 17th.
SOme friends of ours sent out cards after 8 months with their first and 6 months with their second.
I have a theory: " those who matter don't mind, those that mind don't matter"
glad you're almost up to date though it must be a big relief for you to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
BellyBelly Life Member - Love all your MCN friends
Jun 2004
The Festival State
3,008
where did you get the Six Weeks is the Grace Period idea from?
i think it's individual.
Some women bounce back, a day after having a baby, everything heals, baby is cruisy.
Some women have a very difficult labour, have complications, long physical recovery time.
Some women have PND.
Some bubs are born premature and have to "catch up".
Some bubs are unsettled and as they can't talk, it takes a while to work out what is upsetting them.
Some families have different levels of physical support.
More than one of these things, can happen in the same family.
SO MANY VARIABLES.
I know people who say thank you cards are unnecessary, that's a personal choice, i like them too. I would put some thank you cards in your purse/nappy bag, along with some envelopes and stamps - so if you are out, and bubs gives you a window of opportunity (falls asleep, is being cuddled by someone else), you could always get ONE thank you card, done at a time - IF that would make you feel better. Just have your list with the cards, so you can cross off, the ones you have done so far.
I think people who care, will not be waiting with a stop watch for you to do whatever is on YOUR list.
SOmetimes, you buy a gift under pressure, and then find a better one when you are relaxed.
I think you need to take some pressure off yourself.
when a baby comes along, they take priority - do what you have to do to help your family get thru this time - EVERYTHING ELSE CAN AND WILL WAIT.
the pressure to do what everyone else is doing, is HUGE. I remember feeling like i had three heads, reading about other mums, having birthed the same time as me, who were back to their normal life, so fast - i felt like a total failure. Took me ages to work out, they had not been thru the same labour experience as me, so the old hairy chestnut of "every situation is unique" is actually very true. I couldn't even get behind the driver's wheel until six months, took my stomach so long to heal. I coudln't stand up without holding onto walls, for months. I coudln't bathe my own child for a year (lack of strength). Things OTHER mums were doing from week one. So i do sympathise. Hindsight is a wonderful thing. And at the time, i did get comments from other people, including other new mums, "why aren't you driving yet"?
i see the time post labour as survival time (possibly coloured by my own experience). i think caring for your family, keeping the essential housework things ticking over (washing, food, YOUR sleep) takes precedence over all those other things. Do them when your bub is more settled and you are rested well enough to be able to concentrate.
well meaning people say "let the housework go". I think that is BS. if everyone's clothes are dirty, there is no food in the fridge, every kitchen surface is full of dirty dishes - the family can't function.
anyone visiting you NOW, if they trot out the "if there's anything that you need", this is the time to speak up
As a matter of fact, we could really do with . . .
- homecooked freezable meals to heat up
- shopping trips like go and get your family a week's worth of fruit n veg
- ditto the supermarket
- walk the dog
- anything that is really getting you down, cos it's not done right now e.g mopping the wet areas
Write ONE invite, to ALL the people you want to come and visit, email that, or photocopy hard copies if you want to post them. The main thing is, they will all get your message.
if he is cranky/unsettled - guessing here -
- try a baby hammock?
- get him seen by a chiro who sees infants to rule that out
just ideas.
Hehehe, thanks for bumping this. Well DS2 is 2 months old now, want an update?
- Write thank you cards.
I’ve half made them (I have to hand-make every single one with DS2’s foot print on the front, just ‘cos I’m that sort of person), written none of them.
- Thank my midwife properly (with a gift, card and letter).
Have got the gift ready to go wrapped and all, know what I’m going to write in the card but haven’t made it yet (see above) will include letter below.
- Write a letter to the hospital, my GP and various politicians praising the group midwifery/ birth centre model of care.
At final drat stage now.
- Reply to various emails and messages from people wanting to come over and see us or invite us over to see them.
*Meh*
Oh geez, I feel so slack, my dd is 20 months and I just never got around to birth announcement and thank you cards! I thought about it fo so long and then it just seemed to long after so I just didn't do it. I did have PND as well and a chronic non sleeper/severe reflux baby. I still have all my friends so I think they understood how hard things were - especially the 1st year! lol
Registered User
Three months! Great!
(I'll relax now
)
(sent with chrissy cards to save stamps in end LOL)
))
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