I think it can be hard for grandparents - because from what mum says, when she was a parent things were so expensive, and now things seem so cheap, sometimes it just seems wrong to her not to buy them. They didn't have the same issues of too much stuff, and environmental concerns weren't around then - so it can be difficult for them to see the point. However I don't agree that should just be grateful that they want to be involved, you can be involved without gifts, I try to encourage letter/email/postcard writing instead - the kids love that - more than many actual gifts.

I have had birthday parties for the kids where have said no gifts, and I get a 50% success rate - 50% of people still bring gifts - why?? I can't fathom it myself - why put yourself through having to go to the shops and spend money when someone has asked for no gifts in the first place.

We don't really do any gifts now at Christmas, or birthdays, even between DH and myself, and often not much for the kids either - and I absolutely love the gift that people are giving me of not filling our flat with stuff we don't want and also all that time I have that would have had to be spent shopping for gifts I can now use for something far more fun.