Why is ok to say, skinny and not fat?

[Kazmar]

Another thing that would annoy me to no end was during my pregnancies as I carried small. When people would ask how many wks I was the look of shock on their faces. I got comments like "you know you should be eating for two" or "is there something wrong with your baby".

Regards,
Dianne

Omg people are really stupid!

I just dont like the tone. A friend told me "Gee you're so skinny, its discusting" ummmmmm, she's a size 8! She's hardly a big girl

My dad used to just tell me to tell people I have hollow legs

[ladybird11]

Maybe its the whole media thing where they always show skinny (sometimes anorexic) which gives some people the idea that skinny is acceptable, therefore calling someone skinny must be ok...right?

Wrong, I think. When I lost all my excess weight so many people told me I was too skinny etc. I too was eating healthily and exercising. I am just leading a healthy lifestyle. I'm in the 'normal' weight range.

I guess its considered taboo to call someone fat, just as in the past picking on smokers was not acceptable either. But times have changed, some people probably almost feel its their duty to tell someone to stop smoking (I am guilty since losing Mum to lung cancer) for health reasons. But still, calling someone fat, while absolutely tactless, doesn't really help the situation either.

Can someone remind me, do more people die of smoking or obesity each year? What 'category' costs tax payers more to remedy.

Sorry, I've probably gone waaay off topic and I'm just rambling now.

[Inanna]

I don't think it's off topic at all - that's how conversations evolve Leesa!

I don't know which but I do know both are unhealthy - JUST as being underweight is unhealthy. As you know I stacked on the weight whilst pregnant (& before) Immy due to the steroidal treatment needed to sustain a pregnancy for me. I have lost all of my weight now & I too get told I'm too skinny. I am smack bang in the healthy weight for my height.

I think political correctness has got a little out of control when heath care providers find it difficult to broach the weight issue on both ends... Also smoking as well. I too have strong anti smoking sentiments & find it appalling when people smoke in front of kids & others as it's just unhealthy & I don't feel it should be inflicted on others.

However, I have no qualms in saying so! That is my right as a dual occupant on planet Earth. Someone else's weight is their business. Whilst it does impact Iguess on the public purse it's not quite as "in your face" as smoking... (scuse the pun! )

[Kazmar]

I don't think it's off topic at all - that's how conversations evolve Leesa!

I don't know which but I do know both are unhealthy - JUST as being underweight is unhealthy. As you know I stacked on the weight whilst pregnant (& before) Immy due to the steroidal treatment needed to sustain a pregnancy for me. I have lost all of my weight now & I too get told I'm too skinny. I am smack bang in the healthy weight for my height.

I think political correctness has got a little out of control when heath care providers find it difficult to broach the weight issue on both ends... Also smoking as well. I too have strong anti smoking sentiments & find it appalling when people smoke in front of kids & others as it's just unhealthy & I don't feel it should be inflicted on others.

However, I have no qualms in saying so! That is my right as a dual occupant on planet Earth. Someone else's weight is their business. Whilst it does impact Iguess on the public purse it's not quite as "in your face" as smoking... (scuse the pun! )

Great point Smokeing can affect my children and I, somebodies weight, does not

[AnyDream]

Well actually people do comment - quite frequently- when they think people are fat. IMO, any commentary about people's bodies is in poor taste, but there are plenty of other people who feel no such compunction.

Misty - actually there are some instances where BMI is a crock of ****. My DH for example is measured every year, every year he fails and is referred for a muscle-fat ratio test...and every year they write him a special note indicating he has passed by virtue of the unusually large amount of muscle and the unusually low amount of fat he has. His body is quite literally denser than the next persons and hence he does not pass the BMI. The BMI is also mathematically out of whack for taller people (who are not just scaled up versions of smaller people, their frames are typically different):

For a given height, BMI is proportional to weight. However, for a given weight, BMI is inversely proportional to the square of the height. So, if all body dimensions double, and weight scales naturally with the cube of the height, then BMI doubles instead of remaining the same. This results in taller people having a reported BMI that is uncharacteristically high compared to their actual body fat levels.

The BMI was designed as a statistical tool for population studies and was never intended as a diagnostic tool for individuals. While BMI *may* indicate someone is over or underweight, it cannot be used alone as an accurate determinant of obesity or associated health risk factors.

[Ahurani]

Ive been taunted about my weight for a very long time. In year 7 I was 80kgs. I was in the school cricket team, long jump and shot put.

It was worse when I got to high school, I was bullied for 2 years by 1 particular girl. I was in the school soccer team, hockey and participated in interschool sports. It was hell. I danced from the age of 2 (tap, jazz, ballet and acrobats) and quit when I was 16/17 because my teacher said I was too fat to be in the new troupe. If someone said wow your skinny Id be like awesome lol. I think my BMI is about 41 now. Quite depressing really.

Its actually still quite upsetting now about how I got treated back then. Or Im just highly emotional atm lol

[misty]

Marydean - if you read my post you would see that I say that BMI is NOT infallible and that about 20% of people of European / western descent will NOT be covered by it. Those with high muscle mass being likely not too. I also thought I made clear that it is really only relevant to those of european / western descent, many other ethnic groups may not be covered by this: for example asians, ethiopians, etc.

BUT if you are a Woman of european / western descent, then the odds are that you 'should' be able to fit into this range or close to it - this is again not infallable, but the 'majority' should be able too.

Edit to say: It is very possible for someone to be fit and healthy and 'obese' according to the BMI.

[Livinthedream]

You know what, i find the whole weight issue to be the same as the BF issue (everyone has a medical reason LOL.)
In actual reality, there are very few people who are over weight for genuine medical reasons.
The vast majority of overweight folks are that way because of diet. you may not eat badly, but you eat too much.
Thats me, eat really well, hardly ever eat fast food, but I do tend to snack on carbs instead of fruit and am guilty of having seconds when I dont need them.
I know this is the case, because when I do actually make a point of stopping the extras, I loose the weight.
Call me harsh, I am a spade is a spade kind of girl.

[Kazmar]

You know what, i find the whole weight issue to be the same as the BF issue (everyone has a medical reason LOL.)
In actual reality, there are very few people who are over weight for genuine medical reasons.
The vast majority of overweight folks are that way because of diet. you may not eat badly, but you eat too much.
Thats me, eat really well, hardly ever eat fast food, but I do tend to snack on carbs instead of fruit and am guilty of having seconds when I dont need them.
I know this is the case, because when I do actually make a point of stopping the extras, I loose the weight.
Call me harsh, I am a spade is a spade kind of girl.

No, I get you

It runs in my genes to be thin. At 30 though we seem to have to work harder at keeping our weight under control

[Rouge]

Oh absolutely I don't deny that. But I think no one should ever make an assumption about anyone's lifestyle ever. It's no different than assuming that because someone is skinny they must starve themselves or throw up after every meal. You can't be upset at people making assumptions about your size or lifestyle and then go ahead and do the same to the other side. Well you can but it's highly hypocritical IMO.

[Inanna]

I believe though that because the "average" sized woman has gone up to a size 16 a woman in the recommended healthy weight range is seen as "skinny". When she really is not! She's just healthy.

So our idea or our picture of what skinny is has probably changed and it is that healthy weight that is seen as "skinny" when really she's not!

Losing weight is difficult, it' takes commitment, strength and fortitude. We have a whole lot of media saying: "skinny is bad" well underweight isn't healthy and nor is over weight.

If you put in more calories than you exercise out. If you eat sugar and refined carbs on a big plate you will put on weight. It's a fact. If you reduce your calorie intake and up your exercise more than 90% will lose weight. BUT it sounds simple and it's not! Its hard work - thus a multi million dollar weight loss industry! Food is yummy! It has overcome our society. Fast food is everywhere...

However, there is no disputing that a healthy weight range is healthier for us as individuals, for our kids and for the public coffers.

[misty]

It isn't alright to call anyone 'fatty' because doing so is just demeaning the person and does not do anything to help the person loose weight or get motivated to do so, rather it tends to have the opersite effect and cause them to give up and get even bigger.

Just as people shouldn't deride 'skinny' people, because a) you don't know if they are naturally that skinny, work hard to remain that skinny or have an illness that causes them to be that skinny; b) it doesn't matter what the answe to a) is, because it is none of your business!

I have been on both ends of the scale and honestly people should just learn to keep their mouths shut, fat or thin. Because I can guarantee you that the subject being examined is perfectly aware of just how fat or thin they are!

[Inanna]

I hear you & I hope everyone can just discuss the issue without taking it personally!

It is an indisputable fact that obesity is due more than 90% of the time to over eating, incorrect eating or lack of exercise. We are not meant to carry around so much weight. I know personally I couldn't bend as well, my body ached more & I felt more labile. Now I actually feel like doing yoga, feel like walking because it's easier - physically easier...

We have huge portion sizes compared to what is necessary. Our stomach is the size of our fist. Most people have dinner plates 2 sometimes 3 sizes bigger! We eat so many carbs - refined carbs. White pasta, white bread, fats.

I don't believe it's an individual "fault" it's our societal norm to have these massive meals. We stopped listening to our bellies. We stopped using our bodies and moving our bodies!

Instead of food being a fuel it's now something we treat with. I never give my kids food as a reward for this reason. Food is meant to be social and enjoyed but not at the volume that has become normal.

I do't think you're harsh at all Shelley - I think it's very hard to speak about as people tend to get reactive. Both ends of the scales do!

[allycat06]

DH has always been skinny, probably always will be. When we first met he was quite underweight (Around 70kgs...he's 196cms) and lots of people (myself included) used to comment on it, not realising how much it hurt him. I remember often commenting on how much his ribs stuck out and telling him to eat more! I suppose because slim is perceived as being the 'normal' size in society we never seem to think of it as a bad thing, the slimmer you are the better (which of course is stupid). Not ever stopping to think that perhaps that skinny people are fighting their own kind of weight battle.

DH has always been the type of person who struggles to keep his weight up, he has to eat constantly to the point of not enjoying food and just a few days of being sick and bam! 5kgs down. A few years into our relationship I noticed he was starting to gain a bit of weight and put it down to him quitting smoking. Turns out he'd been using weight gain powder but was too embarrassed to tell me! I didn't find out for months. He felt silly that he had to resort to a supplement to put on weight...no one should have to feel like that!

I suppose all of that has taught me to be very careful what I say, just because someone is slim doesn't necessarily mean they like it and just because someone is larger doesn't mean they are unhappy or unhealthy. As long as YOU are happy with yourself that's all that matters right?

[Bumperstump Cummerbund]

I'm sorry, maybe I'm not as emotionally mature as others - but I really am taking offense to a lot of these comments. I have been constantly taunted about being fat since I was in Primary school. I weighed exactly the same as my best friend in Yr 7, only she was 15 cm taller, and our teacher said I was lying and would weigh at least 10 kilo's more than my friend. I was pushed harder during PE than any of the other kids because I was bigger than them. But looking back, looking at my growth charts and comparing them, I was not at an unhealthy weight until I hit 14/15. I got the PCOS symptoms about 8 months before the weight started piling on, and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it.

I think health problems account for more obesity cases than doctors say. Why are peoples metabolisms different? What is different in their brain chemistry's? Why can one person eat whatever they want, whenever they want, and struggle to gain weight? Why can another person follow a very strict diet and exercise regularly and intensely, and not lose weight? On medical advice, I consumed nothing but OptiFast meal replacement shakes and steamed vegetable - a diet prescribed by a dietician - and didn't lose a single, solitary kilo. For 3 months. How dare someone take one look at me and think they have any idea of how I got this way?

This is a very sensitive issue for me. I have tried very hard to be happy with myself, and most of the time, I am. I make sure I exercise and I eat correct portions of correct foods. I go out of my way to find clothes in my size that I like, rather than just wearing whatever I can find that fits. I wear makeup, and adorn myself with flower fascinators or funky headbands. I buy amazingly expensive lingerie so I can dress up for my husband when the mood takes me. And then to have someone assume that I eat huge portions, or spend my days on the couch with chips and Coke, or tell me that I'm a liar about my personal habits because I'm overweight - is completely demoralizing. And I wonder why I try so hard to be happy with who I am.

Who I am is now, and will always be, a bigger woman than most. But I reckon I need to extra space to house my extra personalities

[Cassius2]

DH has always been skinny, probably always will be. When we first met he was quite underweight (Around 70kgs...he's 196cms) and lots of people (myself included) used to comment on it, not realising how much it hurt him.

My DH cops it all the time too. he is 165cm and just cracks the 60kg. he is forever being mocked for his 'short and skinny' self...oh the jockey comments get a bit boring after awhile lol! it hurts him at times too: at one point he was on sustagen just to try to boost his weight...so didnt work. i *think* he is more comfortable with himself these days (and i reckon he's just perfect!).

i also have faced a lifetime of silly comments regarding my weight. the worst were from family (cause they should know better than to pick on a kid)...especially when they would call me 'lucky legs' (lucky that they dont snap in half and go up my butt ). nice one from the aunty and her kids...

also would get at the shops when trying on clothes the whole 'skinny minny' thing and even on a NUMBER of occassions the 'anorexic' label...as a POSITIVE thing from a sales assistant i was sooo embarrassed and mortified each time. the amount of times that i had to hold back tears as i would try on clothes that never fit and have those comments...to this day i NEVER come out of the changeroom to see how the clothes look in a big mirror...not even for my wedding dress lol!