hi everyone I've been married since June 08 however I've been living with my DH for 2 years now and we were dating on and off for 3 before that. I've found that since we started living together the sex has just become boring or non existant unless Im ovulating and we have to DTD but then its with a means to an end and the romance and lust is just not there. We used to go at it everytime we saw eachother when we were dating then when we began living together it just died why or why does this happen, I feel like a sex freak when I want to have sex and I feel like Im the one who does all the instigating and quite frankly it doesn't really make me feel good. I mean he's a very sexual person and will go off to relieve himself when he needs some stress relief.I know its normal and most men do it but I feel like Im cheated of our time together especially when we do it so rarely. He is a very touchy person and will kiss and hug me and grope me, I start to get all hot and bothered and hope ...yes finally he's instigating sex and the he just stops and Im left out in the cold.... . I do dress up for him and try and titilate him and it usually works but I wish he'd do it for me too sometimes....He knows how I feel but its like talking to a brick wall ...he still continues on his merry way and Does nothing about it.does anyone else have similar issues, I'd really hope Im not the only one out there who feels like this?
we had soooooooooooo much sex when we were dating then we moved in together and it dropped off.
We then got married and started ttc and sex became a chore.
This year we have had sex 4 times only as he didnt want to have sex when i was heavily preg and early in i was 2 scared due to previous misscarriage.
I think you go through phases. Luckily its a lots of sex phase for us at the moment. But also the stress of TTC can really take the intimacy out of it!!
Join the Adults only section and you'll probably find something to inspire you
WOW This sounds like My DP... But as in from ur persepctive...
He's always saying its like living with a hose mate as i'm never in the mood... well i am but just too damn tired... once he gets started its fine its just getting me over that F**k i'm too tired tonight stage...
I do however remember when we were TTC... he hated DTD... felt like it wasnt about us and just as feed said a chore.
I think being open and honest to him will really help... my DP has never (to my knowledge) helped himself. he never lets me let him get that far... maybe try some naught TXT msg while he's working make him all excited before he comes home, try some naught lingerie oon his arrival (just a note make sure he's alone when u do this... hence why i dont do the lingerie until i know where alone ) My DS recently informed me he likes when i read the dirty colums aloud in the mens mags... Maybe slip into the shower when he gets in, if u dont mind porn you could be watching a movie together, add some spice to the bedroom, diff positions etc... maybe some toys if ur into that... go away for a weekend to escape... maybe a naught weekend might help.
Perhaps i should join the AO hope i can post this stuff here
wow maybe i should take some of my advice if only i had time (2 kids takes alot out of the adult time) Good luck
Last edited by Je$$_84; September 16th, 2008 at 07:30 PM.
Just wondering if it is a communication problem, and not really a sex problem.
Are you guys still talking about other things happening in your life?
I notice that you have recently lost a little one. Do you think this might be making it harder for the two of you to talk. Is it possible your partner is worried about how you are coping? Or feeling bad, but not wanting to 'upset' you by talking about the bub?
When he hugs you etc, do you let him know that you want to take it further? Sometimes men aren't that good at reading subtle signs and need it spelled out for them.
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Is it just me?
why or why does this happen, I feel like a sex freak when I want to have sex and I feel like Im the one who does all the instigating and quite frankly it doesn't really make me feel good. I mean he's a very sexual person and will go off to relieve himself when he needs some stress relief.I know its normal and most men do it but I feel like Im cheated of our time together especially when we do it so rarely. He is a very touchy person and will kiss and hug me and grope me, I start to get all hot and bothered and hope ...yes finally he's instigating sex and the he just stops and Im left out in the cold.... . I do dress up for him and try and titilate him and it usually works but I wish he'd do it for me too sometimes....He knows how I feel but its like talking to a brick wall
...he still continues on his merry way and Does nothing about it.does anyone else have similar issues, I'd really hope Im not the only one out there who feels like this?
hence why i dont do the lingerie until i know where alone
) My DS recently informed me he likes when i read the dirty colums aloud in the mens mags... Maybe slip into the shower when he gets in, if u dont mind porn you could be watching a movie together, add some spice to the bedroom, diff positions etc... maybe some toys if ur into that... go away for a weekend to escape... maybe a naught weekend might help.
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