Yup. None of his family are welcome in my home (well, one uncle is but he doesn't come here. We go to him). The rest, if they show up, get as far as the door and no further. If he feels the urge to speak to them, which he usy doesn't, thu might be lucky and not get the door closed in teor face. But ten he will go out the front and talk to them there. R doesn't much like his family either so it's not too hard. If I answer the door and its one of them he is happy for me to fob them off

Most of his friends are ok, but one really rubs me up the wrong way for a multitude of reasons. After one incident I told dh I was happy for him to meet this friend elsewhere but I really didn't want him in our "space". He agreed and the friend has never been invited back to the house (5+years now)

I think the key for us was me not just saying they are banned but explaining why as well. I didn't go about it in a way that hot his back up, like I was trying to stop him having contact with the person altogether. I explained what it was doing to me to have them here or even to contemplate t. And he respected that.

On the flip side, I have one friend that dh doesn't want at the house. So if we spend time together it's away from here. If I want him to respect my choices about his smoky/friend I have to respect his...