thanks Glamourcide for your comments, i will ask my GP if i have cysts in my ears, it would be nice to have an end, or an answer to the oozing (that has been going on for two decades without me understanding why).

ZButterfly - i have seen MANY of these threads on another parenting forum, and they developed into trainwrecks REAL fast, so yes, this one has stayed on track, with multiple views, which is great (and unusual for this topic).

Astrid, i agree with the "keeping it simple" approach too. Right now, just getting dressed and having hair done, is enough of an ordeal, i have no desire to ramp up the time it takes to get ready, by adding arguments about which earrings will be worn, where are they? where do they get put/lost when she does sport etc? Getting ready is complicated enough as it is (for us).