Is it best to reduce all stresses before ivf?

[jules30]

hi ladies, i this year started a post grad masters degree which im finding to be quite demanding with managing full time work as well.

We have been going through the decision making process to get to an ivf cycle and i think we are almost there and will probably start in the next few months. It has been 10 months to today since i found out we would have to do ivf.

i think our body's can deal with a lot but im wondering if i should drop the degree to make the most of my first cycle and then i could pick it up later. Do you think study stress might impact on the viability of the cycle?

Opinions or advice on what i should do?

[butterfly_warrior]

I don't necessarily think that stress will prevent an IVF cycle from working, but it certainly can impact on your ability to cope with the side effects of the medications and the whole concept of needing IVF itself. With my first stim cycle, I went through things at a relatively low-stress time for teaching. The second came at a much more stressful time in teaching... and while my case is different (I got OHSS both times and we knew it was going to happen well before EPU - the second time I knew exactly what was coming and it scared the whatsits out of me), I certainly didn't cope well with things the second time around. The nurses who were doing my blood tests eventually had to stop me working because I'd walk into their office and completely break down...

However, people cope with things differently. Some may find IVF a breeze with minimal side effects and be able to continue with work and study as normal. Others are effected greatly by side effects and need time out. You won't know which camp you'll fall into until you start. Do you need to make a decision about the masters degree now, or can you wait and see how you'll cope?

The other thing (and it's probably not what you want to hear, but I'm going to be honest) is that there is no guarantee that IVF will work, or work fast. And there's certainly an argument for not putting your life on hold while you wait for IVF to work. Again, you don't know whether the first cycle will work or whether (like me) you're going to be sitting here still doing IVF next year.

I hope the brutal honesty hasn't offended or upset you, and I hope you arrive at a decision regarding what to do shortly... I especially hope that my brutal honesty turns out to be completely unnecessary and you are one of the fortunate ones that finds quick success with IVF.

BW

[dusty]

Hi Jules
I think BW thoughts above are spot on.

Everyone is different. For me the first cycle seemed like a breeze and I was busy with work and life and it slotted in on top of it all. The stresses for me came with each subsequent cycle. Not so much the physical but definitely the emotional coping. A close friend of mine does IVF but she keeps very very busy to distract her from what is going on. It works for her.

After 1 year of IVF cycles I have just taken several months off work and moved to the beach to focus on IVF and remove all stresses from my life that I could. But I will probably return to work again soon as I now need a distraction from the IVF! I wont go back to work full time but I want some normality as well as reduced stress.

If you have more than one IVF cycle I think of it as a journey with no guarantees of outcome altho the odds are better as you go along most of the time.

Honestly I would take it one step at a time and see how you are managing. Be honest with yourself, you don't have to be a Wonder Woman as sometimes that is putting too much pressure on yourself.

Good luck with it all - I hope you have success right off the boot and get into those pg threads asap

xx

[slyder]

Jules, our FS simply said this "fortunately, stress does not affect the outcome of an IVF cycle". So if your stress levels aren't astronomical, and you were to take the word of my FS, then I'd suggest you'd be fine at least in that regard.

[Lissie]

Hi Jules,

What BW and Dusty said are completely spot on.
Everyone copes with IVF if different ways and for some it is easier than for others.
I have found that the more i do it the more stressful it has become, i have been under the care of two clinic and 3 doctors and they all agree that stress does not stop you getting pregnant. However it is good to TRY and keep the stress levels down if at all possible. I find the emotional stuff the hardest to deal with, i do suffer from side effect of the hormones and that probably does not make it any easier -all i can say is i hope you are lucky first go or early on and as BW says there are no guarantees and that is probably the hardest thing to deal with, but i do agree with Dusty in saying that i feel your chances increase with time - or at least i hope they do. Wishing you so so so so much luck, and remember there are always counsellors and people to talk to, i encourage you to talk to people whom you feel safe with, i unfortunately have bottled so much stuff up for the past few years and now the lid has exploded - i have now found i am not super woman and i do need to talk to people and i cannot do this all by myself and believe me it helps an awful lot just to talk and get your feelings out there. and to you.

[jules30]

Thanks for your replies. The reason ive taken so long with deciding whether to do ivf is for that exact reason that i know that it could be a long rd with or without success. I am still not entirely happy with that outlook but we have to keep positive and at least try!

Actually my concerns run both ways, i dont want study stress to impact how i cope/do with ivf and on the other hand my course costs $2300 a subject and if i fail i lose that. (have until end of next week to stay or leave without fee penalty). The thing is when i applied for the course last year i didn't think we were going to go ahead with it. But the issue kept coming up and we decided together to give it a go.

So, what you have said about everyone dealing with ivf differently and not trying to be wonderwoman puts things in perspective. I can always defer for a semester or two till i know how i cope with ivf.

I really appreciate everyone's advice, this site has been my only real confidante over the last 10 months. I haven't spoken to anyone, not even sister or mum about ivf in depth and all my feelings.