Firstly, big big to you hun, you have had a horrible time. Honestly, for me, I tried the counselling thing after resisting for too long and I did go back for several sessions where I was given loads of coping strategies etc etc. But if I am being truthful, I thought counselling was going to help some of the pain go away and I kept going back in the hope that I was going to have some amazing breakthrough and be able to deal with things a lot better. For me, it never happened and I found in the end, I was getting quite resentful that I had this stranger telling me how I should be viewing things and making changes within my own life when she had never walked in my shoes.

Do you have anyone irl that is/has gone through similar heartache to you? And BB is also a great place for it but the thing that helped me the most was immersing myself amongst like-minded people in a similar situation and talking/crying/b!tching as much as we needed to. Sure, some may see that as not being particularly conducive to the whole healing process but I found in doing this, whoever I was with at the time, really and truly did understand how it felt. I know that my clinic has information on an infertility support group - would you consider giving something like this a go if the idea of therapy isn't for you?

I really feel for you, it is a horrible, cruel journey. Take care of yourself and I hope you can get your forever baby XXX