I am a new member and felt I should join the chatting after reading all of your stories of TTC. Background on me: lost twins in 2005 at 10 weeks; had to terminate my sweet baby boy at 5 months due to genetic problems and a heart that was not complete-Aug. 2006; delivered a wonderful healthy baby boy October,2007. Now, just went through PGD and miscarried the only good embryo out of 12. I don't feel ready to give up, but not so sure that I have any good eggs left. I am waiting for my numbers to go back to zero before meeting w/FS. I was already told egg donor or adoption was my best choice, but would like to give PGD another shot. Just wanted you all to know, that I am walking down the same road as most of you. Sometimes feeling lost and hoping that I will find the right way.
Last edited by kellyq; December 3rd, 2008 at 10:48 AM.
: sp
Really sorry to hear that you had so many challenges on journey. Whishing you all the best with finding your way. When do you expect to be able to meet with FS?
Cuddlepie: good luck with BT& scan tomorrow
Meredith: hope all went well for you today and you are resting after ET.
Sara
Last edited by Sara69; December 3rd, 2008 at 11:56 AM.
: sp
Hi KellyQ - so sorry to hear how difficult trying to conceive again has been. The members here have been so helpful - answered my many questions, and shared their experiences - I've found this forum to be very helpful. Hope you do too.
kellyq - welcome aboard, you will find some wonderfully supportive women here. If you don't mind me asking, what condition did your son have? You may have read that I also terminated a son at 30 weeks.
Meredith - Well done, that is a great number to biopsy, you should get lots of bubcicles to freeze.
Cuddlepie - Hang in there sweetheart, buliej is right it is the quality not the quantity. Just try and stay positive, we can all agree that that is easier said than done but what more can you do.
I am going to indulge in some self-pitty now, today is the 6 month anniversary of my delivering Brendan, or precisely 9.40 this evening. The cemetary where his ashes are placed are having a Christmas Service on Friday evening so I am going to that. Not sure what I am expecting but I will certainly take alot of tissues. DH isn't coming with me, but that's OK we all want to deal with things differently. Tearing up, better go.
LisaK - what a tough day for you. I'm sure the Christmas service will be very special to you...and that you will need all the tissues. My thoughts will be with you.
Oh my God! I have just written the longest email to EVERYONE and managed to darn well lose it! I am fuming right now. I seriously spent half-an-hour on it and was ready to press "send". ARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH I will be back soon when I have managed to cool off!!!!!!!!!!!!
OK, I have regained my composure. This is basically what I wrote before I lost my last post...
Lisa - What a strong woman you are. I really admire you for attending the service on your own. I guess we all deal with grief differently. My DH is the type who goes quiet and bottles things up. Maybe he is a little like yours?? I know not a day will go by that you do not miss Brendan but I do hope attending the church service helps gives you further strength to move forward
Buliej - you will be interested to know I got a script for DHEA! Will arrive about Friday and I can't wait to get started. My FS was not certain it would help me. He has some other clients on it and says it is generally given to women only produce one or two eggs in an IVF cycle. He says it definitely has shown to improve egg numbers, but that the jury is out on whether it improves quality. I also purchased some Maca Root powder this morning in the hope it might help with my estrogen in between IVF cycles (I know I cannot have it while on it). But now I am wondering if it will mess with the DHEA. The Maca Root is said to stimulate the pituatory gland and balance the LH, FSH, P4 and E2 hormones. Any thoughts??
Kelly - Thank you for sharing your story. I am sorry about your recent MC after PGD. This is a very special thread with women who understand your journey, past and present. If it is of any help to you, the PGD scientist told me they recommend trying 3 PGD cycles before considering other options like egg donation.
Sara - never even heard of this "outlayer" business, but who says it isn't the other way around. Maybe this was a freak dud cycle. After all, when my first cycle was cancelled many people on BB were quick to point out the first IVF is very experimental. Maybe you needed higher FSH or were oversuppressed by the Lucrin? I will be starting my Orgalutron cycle in about 4 weeks so looks like we are going to be cycle buddies
Cuddlepie - cooking your Lucky 7. I am sure you will do better than I did as my 7 were had what was considered a "big dropoff". You are very likely to get both a transfer and one or two frosties. Good luck with your next scan and BT
Meredith - Holy Moly - 14! I can't remember if you are doing Day 3 or Day 5. That's fantastic! Surely, it's a record. You have been through so much. I am so glad the cycle offers such high hopes for you. Just think, in two weeks you may be UTD. Now go on, give your tummy a rub from Aunty WTH
KMN and BW - thanks for thinking of me
AFM - FS decided to give Gonal F a whirl, next cycle. Same dose of 375, but he says it can be a little more potent. I am also about to start DHEA, at my insistance. Meanwhile FS thought it would be a good idea for DH and I to TTC naturally this cycle, given we managed a normal eggie last month (due to the stims, I believe) and the fact my up and coming follies have bathed in two months of stims. He was against a back-to-back cycle as he says in his experience, he sees lower follicle numbers. I am feeling fine despite the BFN. Got the next cycle booked, had a new cut and colour done today, have a few accupuncture sessions coming up and am starting to think about the BD marathon coming up in the next week or two
HI ladies,
I feel a bit awkward posting all my good news when so many of you lovely ladies have had such bad news lately but hopefully there will be some more good suff for everyome soon,
ET did go ahead today albeit although with some stress this morning after the lab called me wanting to know if we wanted to grow on to day 5 as we had a few to choose from. I am really not good at changing plans so was quite anxious about the whole "on the spot" decision but DH and I talked and decided to stick with today which we are now both happy with (will explain more).
Of our 14 biopsied embies, 9 tested "normal" and 5 abnormal so really a much better result than i expected for my age and history. Of those 9 , 5 had continued to grow on post biopsy and of those, 3 were at the compacting/morula stage expected for day 4. Our reasoning was that in another 24 hrs it was still going to be a choice amongst those 3 assuming at least 2 continued on, so I feel happier with them in me tha waiting the extra day. The lab does say they think there culture conditios are good enough to replicate the woman's body but I am not 100% convinced that all embies that fail to grow to day 5 would not have made it in their "natural" home.
Anyway, we now have 2 on board and praying at least one sticks for the long haul.
Not getting my hopes up for frosties but hoping at least the other morula makes it and there is a chance 1 or 2 of the remainig might catch up and make to freeze. Will find out in couple of days.Brings it home how much of a numbers game it all is.... started with 21 eggs then 14 embryos, then only 5 normals that also were developing and then really only 3 stand outs. I know it only takes 1 but it seems to need a lot to be lost to get that elusive 1.
Our 5 abnormal embies had varying combiations of extra or missing chromosomes, mostly for 16 and 22. NO downs ( 21) or a repeat of our trisomy 15 in any of the 14 embies. Interestingly, a few of the abnormal embies had continue to grow on to morula stage so actually doing as well/better than some of the "normals". Just shows that how an embryo looks under microscope doesn't actually mean how "good" it really is.
Sorry for the long winded post but basically, we are suprised( happy of course) at the great results so far. Now we just have to get pg ( and stay that way for 9 mths)!!
Kelly - welcome to this priceless group of women. I am so sorry for the tragedy you have already edured. I have lost 6 babies myself but the desire to keep trying hasn't eased yet. I pray that you can get sucess through PGD. There has to be a good one left in there somewhere!
Lisa - my thoughts are with you had this hard time. I hope you can get some comfort going to Brendan's resting place for the ceremony
CP - hoping all is going well with you too. Is your next scan tomorrow?
WTH - dooooh! Don't you hate computers sometimes! I see on your sig that you will be starting again very soon. Looking forward to hearing what your FS had to say
WTH - sorry, posted at same time. You are such a brave lady,picking yourself up and looking forward so quickly. Praying that you don't need the DHEA or increased GonalF as you will be UTD in a few weeks!! Don't answer if its to personal but have you hd any doubts about the financial burden of several PGD cycles? If this one fails for us, then i don't know if we can sensibly afford to do even another, let alone several, particulrly in a short time frame. Actually, we could do it and I would but don't think DH would agree especially with all the financial mess going on the world.
I find it really hard to deal with all the emotional stuff and still have to be "rational" with money.
Just wondered what others think?
Meredith, don't you feel awkward at all of those result, enjoy it! You've been through so much and deserve everything finally coming right for you now. I hope the two in your tummy will be staying for the next 9 months. Its so interesting to read the stats and how the 'abnormal' ones continue to develop even more so than the normal ones. That does proves the purpose of PGD. You just can't tell otherwise.
I do understand that you need a big number like yours to filter them out and still left with some decent frosties. Would be anxious to know how many survived in a couple of days time. What a great cycle for you, I am truly happy for you and hope this is IT and you will never have to do this again!
WTH, glad to hear that you are sounding so positive, I bet the trip to hairdresser do the tricks as well, it can always pick me up. Enjoy the natual , sometimes I forget that's how 'normal' people make babies!
Sara, I agree with wTH, don't be disheartened by FS said 'outlayer', it is your VERY first cycle and they are just testing it out. You might get a pleasant surprise with a different approach.
Lisa, my heart goes out for you at this difficult time. 6 months, the pain must be still raw, indulge yourself during the service and hope you can feel the beautiful spirit of Brendan ....
Welcome Kelly, so sorry to hear your hard journey so far, I am sure you will find some comfort in BB, girls here are not only compassionate but resourceful...hope soon your dream will come true.
AFM, feeling good these couple of days, no sickness and pretty much no side effect. I have been doing beautifully with the self-injections without DH at home. So, proud of myself...
B/t and u/s tomorrow morning, hopefully by afternoon, I will know the trigger time. Hope it will be Friday when DH is home.
Have a good evening everyone, early start for me tomorrow so going to head to bed...
Meredith, I can understand the financial burden with the current GFC (global Financial Crisis, they even give it a name) looming...there are lot of uncertainty with job security and everything. I know you have a little one to care for so not sure if you are working full time. So DH must be the main bread earner, I can sort of understand where he comes from...
I know its hard when you are going through an emotional hell trying to achieve your dream but then there is this hard cold money issue to consider. It just doesn't go together. I guess its the balance how you can make it work. To us, its an easy decision because we haven't got any kids yet so we probably will keep going until I am officially over the hill. But if I do have a child(ren) already, I might re-assess my priority if financially becomes difficult because I would want the existing family to come first, at least in the short time frame.
I hope you won't have to make any decision Meredith because this cycle you will be pregnant anyway...but its a hard call I'd say...
CP - Thanks for your thoughts! Glad you are doing well on your own and hoping DH can do your final jab for you! GL tomorrow... grow follies, grow!!
Re the money, I only work 1-2 days a week as I really want to be home with DS but I do understand the extra pressure that places on DH. I guess, really,we are fortunate to be in a position to do IVF/PGD at all. I am sure there are plenty of couples out there needing treatment to achieve a dream of family life, yet totally unable to pay for it. Just doesn't seem fair..... none of it!
I forget that it costs the majority of people zilch to actually get pg! ( oh except maybe a couple of glasses of wine.... heh...heh!)
WTH - congrats on obtaining the DHEA script - I'd be very interested in hearing how it goes (assuming you need it) - please keep us posted! I spoke to my FS today and she doesn't think it's for me (which didn't come as much of a surprise) and to be honest, I'm not that upset about it - she gave reasons, which jive with my readings (according to her, I'm not a poor responder and I don't have ovarian failure (what a horrid phrase)). I do think that research over the next few years may show that DHEA is good for older women generally - but who knows...and I may push the issue should I go through a few more cycles with BFNs or worse (more m/c). I did some Plan B research and have the names of dr's who prescribe things like DHEA - so I'll keep that in my back pocket. Also, I can tell you that I did back-to-back cycles at my instance - my FS warned me that these usually don't work well - and she was right - 3/4 embryos made it my first cycle and 0/3 embryos made it my 2nd (the back-to-back) - so I think a month off with TTC naturally, if that's an option, is good advice (based on nothing more than my own experience). I'm due for color on Friday (can't fit me in for a cut until Jan!!!) and a massage during my lunch break tomorrow - I'm being rather good to myself and DH is being great about it.
MeredithD - I LOVE hearing good news!! I find it gives me so much hope. Your numbers are fantastic - I so hope that you end up with a BFP and then a H&H in 9 months. Meredith - would you mind repeating your history- as I too had the trisomy 15...and are now awaiting results of our genetic testing - I'm very interested in hearing what you learned about yourself and your DH in terms of genetics and whether the other abnormalities are spontaneous or genetic. I am really struggling whether to try a few more cycles without PGD or whether to go through PGD - given that I can't expect to get much more than 4 eggs, this is a tough decision.
about the $ - that's such a hard decision and so personal. I personally think that I'd be similar to Cuddlepie in my thinking, as we too don't have any children yet...but I've also learned that until you are standing in the shoes of someone in a particular situation, there's really no way of knowing what you'd do. I think the most important thing is for both you and DH to be comfortable with your decisions as there's no right answer. Sometimes I think about what this would cost us in the US and I'm so thankful that we have chosen to make Melb home...but this is particular to me and probably won't make many people feel that much better (and sometimes I wonder whether I'd have more success in NY...but that's a whole other story and, when I'm being rational, most likely not the case).
Hi to everyone else!
Last edited by buliej; December 3rd, 2008 at 08:28 PM.
: correction
Good morning all, a little report of my scan to my BB support team...
Not as dissappointed as I know what I'd expect, so follicles are growing nicely, the biggest one is 21mm, there are two smaller ones popped up (11mm & 13mm) but I don't know whether they will be big enough to have mature eggs in them by the time of EPU. Anyway, will see.
My lining is a bit thin 6mm ATM, do you guys think that it will be a problem for TF? I thought normally it should be around 8-9mm at D11. Well, at least they can do EPU that's all I care about.
Have a feeling that trigger will more likely to be Friday...
Just wanted to quickly drop in and wishing you all a great day.
Meredith: It's great to hear you're good news.
Cuddlepie: Good to hear you're feeling better, keeping fingers crossed and thinking of you.
WTH - Great you're having a new plan, please keep us up-to-date on how you're going with the DHEA - if my low egg number are repeated it may be the way to go for me too. Did you get the script from your FS at SIVF?
Thanks ladies for all your warm thoughts and cyber hugs, I really appreciate it.
And yes, DH is a bit of a bottler (new word) but he has his moments when he lets things go, so maybe a happy blend for him.
Meredith - Your good news is wonderful to hear, if we can have happy times vicariously through you then that's great. I wish you only the best and we need a baby here.
New Gal
Registered User
What a strong woman you are. I really admire you for attending the service on your own. I guess we all deal with grief differently. My DH is the type who goes quiet and bottles things up. Maybe he is a little like yours?? I know not a day will go by that you do not miss Brendan but I do hope attending the church service helps gives you further strength to move forward
Thank you for sharing your story. I am sorry about your recent MC after PGD. This is a very special thread with women who understand your journey, past and present. If it is of any help to you, the PGD scientist told me they recommend trying 3 PGD cycles before considering other options like egg donation.
never even heard of this "outlayer" business, but who says it isn't the other way around. Maybe this was a freak dud cycle. After all, when my first cycle was cancelled many people on BB were quick to point out the first IVF is very experimental. Maybe you needed higher FSH or were oversuppressed by the Lucrin? I will be starting my Orgalutron cycle in about 4 weeks so looks like we are going to be cycle buddies
cooking your Lucky 7. I am sure you will do better than I did as my 7 were had what was considered a "big dropoff". You are very likely to get both a transfer and one or two frosties. Good luck with your next scan and BT
I can't remember if you are doing Day 3 or Day 5. That's fantastic! Surely, it's a record. You have been through so much. I am so glad the cycle offers such high hopes for you. Just think, in two weeks you may be UTD. Now go on, give your tummy a rub from Aunty WTH
Its so interesting to read the stats and how the 'abnormal' ones continue to develop even more so than the normal ones. That does proves the purpose of PGD. You just can't tell otherwise.
, sometimes I forget that's how 'normal' people make babies!
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