I would like to thank all of you for the encouraging words and caring thoughts. I received my blood work today and was at 750. I was hoping for a zero so I could move on, but now I have to go back for a repeat BT next week. I really don't want a D&C.
This past PGD cycle they retrieved 12 eggs, 10 fertilized and 8 were able to be tested for 12 chromosomes. All had multiple trisomies and monosomies except the one which was deemed "normal". I was surprised that only one was good- so was the FS.
LisaK- I know how you feel and your sadness for the loss of sweet baby Brendan will always be with you. When I lost my baby Benjamin (trisomy 21 and a broken heart), I had a dark cloud around me for a long time. I wonder if my pain and grief only make me appreciate what I have now, more. I will be thinking of you and hoping that the sun will shine through for you.
Meredith- I am in the same $ boat as you. I am hoping to do PGD again, but with a price tag of $6,000- this will be my last time. I am keeping my fingers crossed that you will not need to go through another cycle. C'mon baby...babies!
To all- I am trying to get all the lingo down. Lots to learn! I am still leaning how to text! Buliej- not so sure what FET is. You all sound like you could hold a lecture on IVF and PGD. I am a novice!
Good thoughts sent to all of you.
~Kelly
me- 39 DH(dear husband??) 56
PS- WTH... I had to write this twice- I lost the first one,too!! AHHH!!!
That's funny you think I could hold a lecture whereas I feel I know so little. After my 12th question to my FS yesterday, I said "sorry for all the questions, but I've never known so little about something so important to me". She was actually very kind and said "ask away" and to call her if I come up with more.
A lot of what I've learned is from the ladies on bellybelly...and I'm am obsessive google-er - but with the internet, you can never be sure of the quality of the information - often I take it and bring it back here to bellybelly to see what others know. Sometimes, when I'm exhausted from all my reading and the decisions that need to be made, I wish I was the type of person who could just sit back and let this happen and let the doctors make all the decisions - but that's not me...
...and FET is frozen embryo transfer - somewhere on bellybelly is a post with all the abbreviations - I knew none of them when I started this process in Sept!
Instead of singing 'chicken tonight' I am singing 'Trigger Tonight', in the bid to calm the stressed-self down...
I didn't get the call from clinic until 3ish this afternoon and I was totally expecting to do another scan tomorrow and trigger tomorrow night, which would be perfect because DH will be home to put the needle in my bum! So when I heard 'trigger tonight at 730pm, I totally freaked out'. Then there is logistic things to sort out. Leave work early to pick up the trigger, cancel tonight's Xmas party plan and have to move Saturday engagement to another day. And of course tonight, I will have to inject myself in the tummy, what can I do but to bite the bullet!
Well well well, my egg-growing business has almost done and now time to prepare laying them on Saturday, wish me luck!
CP - Guess you would have done trigger by now. Hope it all went well and you are looking forward too "drug free" day tomorrow. Go those good little eggies!! RE your lining. I always have issues with mine but have fallen pg many a time with around 6mm on day of trigger, my DS was one of those times. I asked the Dr doing my ET the other day about lining and she said the actual thickness is not as important as whether it has grown since your first scan.
Buliej - My history in a nutshell is that I have had 5 pregnancies in the past 4yrs, all but one concieved with OI/IUI. Of those 5, only 1 made it producing my DS. We had chromosome testing on all my m/c's ( except the first)... 1 normal girl, 1 boy with trisomy 15, 1 normal boy and 2 other babies ( the "other" twins from my last 2 pgs) with no result. DH and I tested normal so my trisomy was just random. My PGD results also seem to just reflect the random "expected" trisomies/monosomies for someone in my age bracket, however the PGD scientist did say that each cycle can be quite different and we'll never know if this was a "good" one for us.
I can certainly understand the fear of doing PGD with only small no's of embies. Its a hard call but I have kind of said to myself that if the embies can withstand the PGD then they are probably the strongest anyway. Its impossible to know if the 4 "normal" embies we had that failed to grow on after the PGD, would have failed anyway.
Lisa - thankyou for the well wishes. I hope I can bring some hope that PGD works... please let it work!!
Kelly - what tough stats with your PGD cycle. I truly hope that was just a "bad" month. At least you know you CAN produce a good embie. Its just gotta stick!!
I am soo sorry your HCG is not falling. All my m/cs have been a bit of nightmare in this regard. My most recent, i had 2 D&C and still took 12 weeks for my lvels to reach zero. I was desperate to try again but I guess now in hindsight, maybe it was for the best to be forced to let my body rest and recover.
AFM - Not much to report, just feeling anxious already about this 2ww. My BT will be on 15/12 - seems so far away! Should find out tomorrow if I have any bubbies in the freezer
Thanks Meredith for easing my mind a bit regarding the thickness of the lining...yeah, done the trigger now and looking forward to the drug free tomorrow. Have AP though, so still can't escape needles...
Looking through the conversations between you and buliej about the stats, just feel that even with such an advanced technology these days, there are still so many questions that no one really can answer. There are lot of 'luck', 'chance', 'random' and 'nature's desire' really. For some of the things, we might never have answer. This is actually the beauty of life, there is always something unknow, unable to calculate, left you to hope and wonder.
After all the scientific facts and logical thoughts, I do believe that universal sometimes choose the timing for us and I do like the thought of 'miracle does happen'.
Meredith, I think this is YOUR time and the little miracle is growing inside of you at this minute.
*pardon my drug-talk* - this must have trigged sth. else in me...
Meredith - thanks for sharing your history. I was wondering if the chromosomal issues were all spontaneous - I guess I'm getting a sense of the issues with age - it's taken a while but it is sinking in that they extend beyond just trying to get the BFP and that the genetic testing being done on DH & I is not the be all and end all in terms of answers. You've given me good stuff to think about (I mean that - you've given me a factual context which is really helpful) ...for better or worse, DH and I have some time to mull this over. I look forward to your BT results...BFP before the new year!
CP - enjoy your drug free day - let us know how the pick up goes...will DH be home to go with you? It's frustrating for me that there's a huge "unknown" factor with all of this - but it's not a surprise - creating a life is indeed a miracle! I just hope to be able to participate in it one day.
Last edited by buliej; December 4th, 2008 at 08:31 PM.
: update
I havent written in before but spend every night checking on you all - it gives me the courage to keep going.
We have been TTC since Dec 2006 (Me 38 DH 39) and had first IVF cycle in May 08 for unexplained infertility. We were excited with BFP first time. However at 12 weeks found out we had a trisomy 21 pregnancy which we terminated and have regretted ever since. Unlike you all I was one of the 10% who didnt miscarry and really dont know what is worse. We have PGD this cycle and had 4 of our 7 frosties tested as well as the 2 good ones from this cycle. In TWW as we speak had the only frostie that tested OK transferred. HPT was +ve but very nervous about BT tomorrow. In answer hope we to all those questioning whether to have PGD think long and hard about what you will do if you get the test results we did at 12 weeks as after 3 'normal' scans it was the biggest shock of my life.
Wishing you all well and will have m fingers crossed in cyber space for you all
HI ladies, need to vent tonight as feeling bit flat. Found out today that none of our embies made it to freeze. Couldn't get much more detail other than that they had started to degenerate by today. Not sure if they grew on past day4 but I guess maybe they did given they kept them going until today (day 6). I had told myself I souldn't expect any frosties but did really think we would at least get the 1 that looked good on day 4. NOw I am really worried about the ones that were transferred as they were about the same quality as that 1. Maybe they are already gone?
Trying to stay positive in the hope they they were the only good ones but its hard when so many supposedly "good" ones have just failed to develop
There is SOOOOO much more to this baby making than just "normal" embies!!
My one consolation at this point is our decision to transfer at day4. Maybe they will fair better in me... Hoping so! Sorry about the whinge. I know I should be very grateful we even got any to put back.
CP - Just as ou said, there are so many unanswered questions about TTC. Every child is such a miracle of nature.
Wishing you heaps of luck for tomorrow. Go those lovely eggies!
Buliej - Glad to be of some help. Its so hard with all the decisions we face. I am like you, can't help myself researching every little detail but then it just stresses me out. Ignorance and blind faith in Drs really would be bliss sometimes but sadly doesn't always get us the best treatment. These days I think you really need to be informed and push the Drs on everything. I think IVF is sometimes to much of a "sausage factory" and you need to ask to get "out of the box" care.
WTH - hope you are doing ok. I know you have been worried about your big "drop off" from 7 original embies but my figures are very similar 14 embies down to 2-3 supposedly "good" ones although don't know if any would have actually made it to blast. My lab didn't seem to think this was that abnormal. I find it odd I must admit given both of us have seemed to get pg without excessive difficulty in the past so we must have had plenty of embies develop just fine.
I don't know but maybe some people just make embies that can't hack it in the lab?
Ishy - I am so sorry for your loss. What an awful decision you had to make. A positive HPT is a positive so I would say you are UTD... yipee!! Best of luck with BT tomorrow!
Meredith, remember that your embryos are INSIDE YOU. Totally different environment to the lab, and honestly the best place for them. Have faith in your embryos and your body (as hard as I know that is), that they are at home and snuggling in for the long haul. I can imagine your disappointment, but time to focus on what you have right now - two very real chances at a healthy baby, and all the drugs under the sun to help them stay with you. Hang in there!
Cuddlepie, good luck with EPU! Will be awaiting results with interest.
Will be praying like mad for the duration, Meredith. Just know that while you are the one doing the hard part of things, you aren't alone as you journey through this.
Meredith - I think you can't compare your body to a lab - I think the 2 inside you have a great chance of giving you a BFP and a H&H baby. At the end of day, a lab is a lab - they don't understand everything about a woman's body so how could the possibly replicate it no matter how good they are.
Cuddlepie - good luck with pick up
Ishy - I hope the BT gives you the definitive BFP that you deserve (please let us know - we'd be so excited for you). You had to make a horrible decision....gosh, the more I info I have from these posts the more I think that PGD is the way to go and if it means multiple cycles to get a good embryo - so be it...I don't want to miscarry again nor do I want to be faced with the same type of decision you had to make even knowing that we'd do the same...but it would be heartbreaking.
Hope you're all having a nice and relaxing weekend, glorious day down here.
Meredith: I am sorry to hear you had bad news about your frosties but definitely agree with everyone else that the lab is a much tougher environment for your embies than to nest in their natural environment, try to hang in there I am praying things go well for you.
Cuddlepie: Hope you had good news and are resting comfortably after EPU. Have been thinking of you this morning,
Ishy: Welcome to this forum, I am really sad reading your story as it's similar to my own, it's one of the hardest things that can ever happen to you. Let us know how your BT goes.
BW: It's good to hear from you, hope all is well.
Buliej: Have a great birthday!
WTH: Cyclebuddy hope the DHEA does wonders for you. I was on Gonal F last cycle, the needle is really fine and didn't hurt at all.
AFM Already nervious about the next cycle. My FS said she'll start me on 300, wondering if she shouldn't go a bit more aggressive from the start, last time I was on 262.5 from the start and then went up to 375 without any effect. Anyway perhaps may have to insist on an early BT and then to get really more aggressive if E2 number are not up.
Sara
Last edited by Sara69; December 6th, 2008 at 11:07 AM.
here, starting with you Meredith....
- just want to send you a big cheery 
for EPU tomorrow. I hope you have an excellent haul of some lovely eggies. Will be thinking of you.
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