Long Term Assisted Conception - 2009

[butterfly_warrior]

Mollygirl, do you have PCOS? It can lead to unpredictable responses to stim drugs and make you much more likely to get OHSS. I got it quite badly twice and then through careful control of my diet we managed to avoid it on stim cycle number 3. Let me know if you want more info...

Typing one handed right now - just dropping in to let people know I'm still reading and cheering you all on.

BW

[jbub]

actually probably not a good idea to post this. I am going to edit this because If I do know this member I don't want to ruin her anonymity on the site. I wasn't sure anyway. so sorry if I caused any embarrassment.

[Baby Dreamtime]

Hi ladies,

It sure is quite in here. I have been hanging out in the LTTTC thread mostly and don't often post in here, though I guess I am technically more LTTTC with AC than anything else.

Warning: BIG VENT!

I have to admit (I hope I don't offend anyone), that I sometimes get a bit over seeing other LTTTCers who do one or two IVF cycles, get their BFP right away and move on. I am sorry if this is selfish or insensitive, but I am really ready for it to be my turn. I feel a bit like I am being left behind, perhaps that is something you guys can appreciate. I used to envy the women who get their BFP naturally, then it was the ones that only needed to do IUI, now it is the ones that do one or two IVF cycles.

I am up to 8 cycles and 6 ETs now, more than most, but I know not as much as some. Again, I hope I am not offending, just needed to get this off my chest. I never thought this would be me.

And whilst I am trying not to stress too much in my TWW, I am still obsessing and can't get it off my mind. I have so many reasons as to why this cycle, out of all of my previous cycles, just might work. But I am too scared to hope, I don't know how I will cope if it doesn't work, and fear I will rapidly lose any hope that I will ever get my BFP.

Sorry for the vent, this is the last thing you need. Will make sure I come back tomorrow and spread some positivity. In the mean time:

Samandpoppy, hope you are well, I have been reading your thread on thyroid, I have just seen my GP how has put me on to T3 tablets. I will post what is going on with me re TSH in your thread. Also, hope you are feeling a bit better, what did you decide re your FET? Best of luck and hope your back pain has left also.

Hope, how is your cycle going? Hope you are going well with your jabbing and sniffing.

Mummawannabe, I have heard it is possible to O naturally from both sides, but I think it makes sense that any type of stim drugs could cause you to produce follies on both sides, it definitely happens with full IVF cycles. I would love twins too. GL with your cycle.

Loula, I hope you are going well detoxing, thinking of you.

Mollygirl, I know what you mean re the fear about doing another stim cycle. The way I would look at it, is that it would be another chance for your FS to make changes to your protocol to hopefully improve your embies. My new FS explained that they have the ability to manipulate 3 variables. One being embies, she has suggested no more down reg cycles, would like to try a flare cycle, introduce (I think she said) hcg injections during the stimming phase and a few other things, and aim for a smaller number of follies with better quality. Just fyi the other variables were endo lining and ET technique, which makes sense. Thinking about you and hope you come to some decision soon.

Sara, not sure where you are up to exactly, though I do know you are still on your wheatgrass. I hope it gives you the results you are hoping for.

Dusty, hi, I read your blog and laughed about Em's comments, what a gem.

WLAB, what great follie numbers, all the best for your cycle. Praying it is a BFP, sending lots of

BW, hope all is well with you and your little one.

Jbub, gosh, you must be some sort of super detective , I don?t know what I would do if someone IRL actually spotted me on BB after everything I have revealed on here . BOL for your coming cycle.

To everyone else I have missed, hi, hope all is well. Hugs to all. xx

[MsPink]

BDY - just wanted to say - vent away. Sadly..we all feel the same way. It's NOT fair, not at all. It is a lottery with lives and so very cruel.
Please know you are not the only one.. I am jealous of all the strangers with prams I see, I am jealous if people who get PG by accident, with IUI and IVF. It tears me up inside. I am constantly on borderline tears and know i am near the end. I don't even have a choice about how long I continue.
You are not alone sweetie and don't feel guilty for how you're feeling.
We are all here for that very reason... and when you need to vent or need the support - we are all here for you..It may not make you feel better..but at least you know there are many many others out there suffering alongside you..
I hope and pray this is your last TWW and you get the good news you deserve..

[Sara69]

BDT: just wanted to send you a

Sara

[Loula]

actually probably not a good idea to post this. I am going to edit this because If I do know this member I don't want to ruin her anonymity on the site. I wasn't sure anyway. so sorry if I caused any embarrassment.

oooOOOooo Jbub

i just want to know if it is me that you think you know? i have a lot of stalkers on here and i know a few of then, i dont know if they know that i know TBH but i talk about it all the time - i guess i can count 3 people, that i dont really want to 'know' stuff but know that they come in here and have a look!

[Loula]

BDT i hear what you are saying and i thank you for saying it, it is hard to show thoese emotions as you think that it is mean or wrong of you in some way to express that what you are truely feeling.

After being on BB for what seems like such a long time now even all my LTer friends from 2006 have now all fallen pg or had babies, some even on their second!(im sorry to thoese still travelling this journey with me).

It makes me sad even though i know that the longing is still the same. and i know that they once knew how i felt but dont really know that feeling anymore (IMO) and im sure that i will go through that transittion too. (i pray and hope for it every day) Its not that i am unhappy that others are having success, i just wallow in my own pitty for it not happening for me and my DH.

Totally understand. xx

[Sara69]

Jbub when you have 30 posts or so you can send a private message to the member and ask her personally without posting it for everyone to see.

Loula and Lulu just sending some to both of you.

Sara

[Cuddlepie]

BDT, like others said, thanks for putting out this post and sadly there are so many us out here feeling exactly the same. My IVF nurse and APist were both pregnant had maternity leave and one is already back to work during the course of my pursuit, it is when you see these things, you realized the amount of time has gone by yet success still hasn't shown its face. It is these moment your doubt just screaming at you that how long I am going to wait. It feels like not one but a few life time already...

I had my anger, frustrations and all sort of other emotions in the whole world, now I think I am so exhausted and has just recently settled with numb aTM, not that is good...

I turely hope that this cycle will be the one for you and I also pray all of us will graduate this thread in the very near future.

Best of luck Lulu for this upcoming cycle...

Loula and Sara, big hugs to you both too...

[MsPink]

Awwwwww u girls are so huggable...thanks guys...love you all back!!

Well - just shot up with first FSH this cycle and have taken the scary Prednisone..here's to an angry, fat, fat-faced month ahead... bet you are all glad u can avoid me in real life huh..??