When to call it quits.

[jmmum]

Not sure on this as this is first thread to start. I have been TTC bub #2 since July. Am older mum 43 in May. Found out today that none of my Emb's survived thaw. That means another stim cyle. I have been on the IVF roller coaster since 2005.Have 11 month old DD and feel very blessed but would love for her to have brother for sister.
Concerns how old is too old and for how long do you keep trying. Know these are prob questions I need to answer for myself but would just like some thoughts????

[tiggerlinda]

JMum - I went through this when none of mine surrived the thaw take some time and have a coffee and it does become clearer I am here for you it is devastating news to recive

[Lissie]

jmmum,

Hi - firstly i would love you to come into our thread its under TTC budies and its Older woman TTC, fabulous bunch of ladies and you will see a few of them our age have succeeded. It just may give you some inspiration to keep going. I know for me not as yet having a live baby i am not ready to stop. Everyone knows their own limits - you will know when its time for you. I have a girlfriend who had here 1st ivf baby at 45 and just had her second at 48. Apart from the fact that we know the older you are the less chance you have but its not like there is no hope -I think only you can answer your question. Remember age is just a number - I do wish you so much luck and i hope you find your answer soon. Why not pop into our thread you would be more than welcomed there.

[Chez67]

Hi jmmum

I have been thinking pretty much the same thing as you these past few days. I am 40 and haven't yet achieved a BFN from either natural, stim or flare cycles. I have been starting to think that maybe a child is just not in our future, which saddens me but I am also realistic that we can't continue with this IVF process forever, for mental, physical and financial reasons. We have a life to live and while it won't be the same without a child, we will still be happy I am sure.

I haven't really discussed this with my DF yet... but I am pretty sure he will be supportive of me either way, whether I want to continue or stop. He is slightly more pragmatic about the whole thing whereas I have been letting my emotions take over most of the time.

I guess what I am trying to say is that you are not alone. There are lots of us out here who are dealing with these same questions each cycle and wondering that maybe just one more will give us a H&H pg. I wish I could give you some amazing words of wisdom, but all I know is keep listening to your heart and your head and enjoy your relationship with your DH!

Take care,
xx

[dusty]

hi jmmum, i am sorry about your embies not surviving. that must have been very devastating for you.

i look at this LTTTC journey is one that can take many different paths, including dead ends, depending on whether you are open to going down different routes, some seeming more radical than others depending on each individual's perspective. each time i am faced with another hurdle, i look for all the possible options available. personally i don't produce eggs in any numbers and don't produce embies for freezing which means endless IVF stims, so i am now looking at Egg Donor path using a sibling as an ED. once i started looking into this, i have come across many many women in their 30s and 40s also undertaking this path with good and not so great results. this may be something you have already thought about but there are a lot of women still trying into their late 40s (and maybe older). my feeling is if you make yourself aware of the options and question what it is you may be able to do, you can start to work out where and if you want to go there.

my DH and I also are looking into the adoption options as we want to know we investigated all options even before we needed to use them.

i don't know when i will call it quits, but i am like cheryl and don't think i can do this for too many years and put the rest of my life on hold, even though this is part of my life, i want to be able to say i gave everything a go i could but not be obsessed for more than the next few years (after 3+ years of trying with no results).

i HTH

xx

[jmmum]

Ladies thank-you so much for your replies. It's nice to know that there are people going through same things. I have looked at some of the TTC threads but all seem to have such a good rapport with each other that I did not want to intrude. I also feel a bit guilty as I have been very blessed with a DD and some of you after so many heart breaking attempts still have no little darling bubs.
I do wish you all every success and hope that it works out for the best. I will keep an eye on these threads and may soon feel comfortable enough to join you guys in such a personal heart renching journey.
I am a little different in that after years of looking for Mr Right (to much time spent at NQR with some still on the shelf there) and no success I have undertaken the Donor IVF roller coaster on my own. Again thank-you so much for the words of wisdom and caring thoughts.
jmmum