I am posting in the hope to make a decision on TTC, so here's my story so far in brief:
DH and I have been ttc for 18 months now with the last 4 cycles taking clomid. So far no luck I am turning 29 in August and DH is 36 in June.
My worry is that we are not financially stable ATM, due to DH having an accident and being unable to work last year. I only work part time because I am studying.
Although I am more than ready to be a mum, I know ideally we should wait. But I worry that the longer I wait the harder it will be to conceive. I have no children yet and I would love at least one before I turn 30!
So I guess my questions are:
Should I wait another 6-12 months to ttc and risk it being harder or taking longer?
Will it be harder the older I get?
Does it matter how old the man (and his swimmers) is?
We started TTC very early...we have financial security (we're not rich, but reliably stable). It took us 23 months, we both haw fert issues. Yes, we could have waited, but as we learned from our FS, it was a good thing we didn't. It will most likely be a difficult (and assisted) road for conceiving our future children, but we are glad we know. as for swimmers, yes they do get affected by the mans age. Maybe get them tested?
I think family Is everything! I wouldn't wait. Money isn't everything and if you do wait and then it is years before you conceive or find out there are fertility issues will you regret waiting.
On the same token if you fall pg tomorrow will you look back and think it was too soon?
I don't think many people can be 100% ready for kids ever. There is always something in the way...... But only you can decide if it's best to wait or not.
PumkinZulu, DH has been tested, he is all good, It's just me that is the problem. Can't seem to catch that egg! 23 months is a long time. Was it 23 of trying really hard (and going crazy!), or just trying?
Smudgies_mum, That's a great way to look at it. I can't help but feel guilty for ttc in our situation. I hear the tones in the voices of my friends, they act happy for us, but I know they think we should wait. They just don't understand that my body isn't like theirs, I can't just fall pregnant when i decide the time is right!
Forget what other people think, you need to think about what you want. I have not had fertility issues, but there is no way I would be putting ttc on hold for the sake of money if I had. Babies do cost money, but how much they cost is really up to you! Plenty of people raise children on a shoestring, so if a baby is what you really want then keep trying.
To answer your other questions, yes increasing age can be a problem for sperm production, but increasing maternal age is more of a factor. As soon as you are past 25 your fertility starts decreasing so don't wait too long.
Last edited by berrme; February 25th, 2011 at 03:06 PM.
Another thing you may need to factor into the equation is, what comes after clomid? If you don't get UTD in your last two cycles, will you want to go onto IVF? If so, you will need to have a stable income base or savings to pay for it.
I agree money isnt everything. Not only that, but it might take you a while longer to conceive. Especially if you are going back to natural cycles after the clomid. So you may have an opportunity to improve your financial situation before a baby comes along anyway.
If it were me, I would keep trying.
n2l
Last edited by nothing2lose; February 25th, 2011 at 03:12 PM.
Thanks ladies,
I guess we'll keep trying. When I finish clomid I will try a few natural cycles.
N2l-I am hoping it won't go to IVF, maybe I will try IUI first, unsure, depends what my FS says. We do find it very hard to time things IYKWIM so maybe IUI would be a good idea? If we had to use IVF we would just try naturally while we save.
In regards to ivf...... I have fertility issues, quite bad pcos. I don't get af at all. We can't afford ivf and my obgyn didn't even suggest it at this stage. My hormone levels are so out of whack we would be lucky if I ever had enough endo to hold a zygote!
Our option was Ovarian drilling, I was a public patient and it cost me nothing. Of course you need to weigh up risks if it gets to that point.
Iui is also cheaper than ivf. So there are a few options before the most expensive.
If I'm not pg in 6 months I will start clomid. The chances of falling pg with clomid after drilling is very high. In fact ovarian drilling has an 80 to 90 percent success rate.
Well that's good to hear smudgies_mum. I never would have dreamt that we would be going through this. And what makes me angry is that I did fall pregnant about 9 years ago with DH when we first met, but decided that I was too young and we barely knew each other. Thought "theres plenty of time for babies later on". Little did i know the problems we would have.
I'm hoping IUI will work if we do it. And if not, there seems to be a variety of different options before IVF. Thank you ladies for your input, made me feel much better!
It was trying very, very hard. 4 m/c's in that time I am much, much younger than you (not too sure if I should say my age, might make people think differently about me lol!) but it was the best decision we could have made, TTC early. Especially as we want a large family. Money isn't everything to us, but it was an important deciding factor. But when our fertility issues came to the fore, that took priority over everything else.
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Advice needed!
I am turning 29 in August and DH is 36 in June.
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