Oh yes I can relate! We too were TTC for two years...sometimes I'd just want him to finish asap and have it over and done with It's bloody taxing on a relationship!
Oh yeah, another one who knows what you are going through. TBH I don't know how we have been doing it for so long. Maybe it has become the 'norm' now?? I hope you fall pg and don't have to worry about it (well unless you decide to have another baby)
Ohhh, I remember those days. Took us 2 years to get DS, by the last 6 months or so the romance (as hard as we tried) was truly gone. Sex was about as romantic as house work. All I can say that it is worth it, you will have your little bub soon, sending you lots of baby dust. We fell pg with DS with help of clomid the month that OB advised IVF was the next step. Good luck !!
Purplemoosemoose you are definately not alone in this situation. My DH and I were in the same situation. There were months I was ready to leave him for his lack of performance. We actually went for 3 months when DH got stage fright the day before ovulation and O day which is when our specialist adviced us to DTD. I was so upset about it I remember each month crying hysterically and going of at DH for hours (one of our arguments over it stretched to 2am when our attempt was about 10pm) DH said he was so embarrassed about his lidido disappearing on the moment we needed it (it didn't matter how many days we didn't do it before hand in preparation for the more important days. We also had a very loving active sex life prior to this and very few disagreements.
We were trying just over 2years. The first year was ok but steadily it got harder and harder and did put a huge strain on our marriage. This was one contributing factor to going ahead with IVF sooner rather then later when we hit the 2year mark (we knew our problem which was bad tubal disfunction plus I lost a tube due to ectopic pregnancy). The month we did all our paper work for IVF I was so happy. The relief of not trying to time sex was huge. A cloud had been lifted for me (I was the problem as I was so desperate for a baby it was an obsession where as DH was happy to let nature takes its course) The thought of IVF didn't scare me at all and I looked at it with such hope. Anyway all the paperwork was done, I was happy, I felt ovulation and thought what the heck and 2weeks later BFP. I couldn't believe it. So we never did start IVF after all.
Then the best part except for our baby was our sex life was better then ever during my pregnancy. We were DTD more then we were at any stage of our ttc journey. Our little girl is now 3weeks old and I am super keen to be intimate with DH again but I'm still bleeding.
I wish you every bit of luck and success and hope your journey to get your much wanted baby is almost over as he/she is on their way. For us as soon as I did get pregnant our sex life returned to normal or better then that TBH and now DH can laugh over the temper tantrums I had during that time.
I agree with everything the ladies above have said
We tried for nearly 2 years before starting IVF and I swear, I could've kissed the IVF nurse when she told me to lay off sex while undertaking treatment.
The pressure to DTD on the correct days is enourmous. TTC, escpeically for so bloody long, is so hard as it is. And then to try and keep the romance alive? Pffft.
I am so sorry to hear you are going through this. I don't have any advice on how to make it any easier... for a long time, DH and I just went through the motions.
I hope you find the IVF process to be a positive one.
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Last edited by onthefly; April 20th, 2011 at 05:19 PM.
It's bloody taxing on a relationship!
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