Hayseed

First, I want to thank you for being so honest and realistic with me, you have no idea how much you have helped me to appreciate what an ordeal doing IVF will be.

I have to tell you that I never realised how hard this would all be on me. I have 2 daughters, both were twins, but I lost a twin with each PG. I had a hard time with Shannen, Tayla was a breeze. Then I lost my mother when Tayla was 18 months old, I was devastated so we put off having another until I could cope without my Mum. Big Mistake! I tried for 2-3 yrs to get PG but didnt manage it, it was then decided that I had PCOS and that my being morbidly obese was a contributing factor. I took the hard line, had lapbanding done and have managed to lose over 50 kgs. Amazing. I went back to my original OB a yr after having the band and have been TTC ever since. I have had a missed m/c (last August) and since then another 4 m/c's, there is no reason for them, I have had every test under the sun and nothing is apparently wrong, the only thing that is different between now and when I was PG with the girls is my age and the weight loss, I am much healthier now than I ever have been, weird!!!

I really appreciate you being so honest, you have helped me confront a few things that have concerned me. I am really trying not to think that IVF will work straight away for me, its hard not to get your hopes up. But I have set myself a time frame, if I am not PG by at the latest next March, then I am giving up.

Your advice:
1. I am worried about IVF ruling my life, but then again just TTC has pretty much taken over my life for the past couple of years. I am not too enthused about the injections bit, very scary as I hate needles. I am really goind to try not to sit on the net and research, it gets all too confusing.

2. This is something that concerns me. I dont like to tell people that I have been TTC, so it will pretty much remain a secret. I wont be volunteering any information to anyone. There are only a couple of people that I trust enough to tell, DH will know of course, and my friend Robyn, who does school runs for me when I am not up to it, as for the others, no one else will know. I think that when people know, that adds to the pressure of everything. I only have my Dad and I wont be telling him either, unless he asks. My in-laws will definitely not be told anything at all.

3. I guess I am lucky, I live about 10 minutes drive from Monash, which is where all the IVF stuff is done, I think. So I guess managing the time shouldnt be too much of an issue. The only thing is if I have to do something at a time when I have to pick up the kids or something, but luckily my Dad and Robyn will be able to help me out with that one. Where do you do your IVF?

4. This is of a huge concern to me. I have to admit that just TTC has taken over my life to an extent and I did neglect all my other stuff for a while, so I am now more conscious of this, I actually showed DH your message and he is also aware of all of this as well, it is something that we will be more careful of.

I know nothing of the cost of IVF, thats something that I will have to discuss with my OB on Thursday. He did mention something about selecting embryos or something, not too sure what that involves but I am assuming that it is pretty involved.

Thank you for being so honest and up front with me, it will certainly help me when I begin the long road of IVF!