It is a similar experience for many couples, including us for a number of years. The societal expectations and family expectations re having children...it is so so debilitating at times. I found it so distressing, that it made it even harder to tell them in the end. After 8 yrs of failed everything (IVF...etc etc) and even adoption which was a final acknowledgement that it was the end of the road for us, and we had to face reality, it was so hard to tell people the situation we faced. What I did not realise at the time, whilst suffering all those years, that many of the people I thought would be smarty pants and offer their words of wisdom, were in fact quite respectful and understanding. My family, who are often judgemental, became quite supportive, as some inkling of our struggle became only too apparent.
Anyhow, to cut a long story short, after receiving some really good support from our sis in law, she mentioned surrogacy in US, as how this was a solution for those who can't carry (which was my issue) and potentially, where eggs or sperm are not satisfactory, a donor could be introduced. Anyhow, after 18 months investigations of all programs around the world, we chose India, as it is a little less expensive than US, but, still very professional IVF clinics and doctors.
Our baby (our embryo) was born in Dec 08, in India, and we cherish our boy so much, it is hard to describe. He is so loved by not only family, but our hundred + friends and distant family, as I think everyone now appreciates to some extent anyway, the journey and how our baby came into this world. We feel so proud and also, so pleased we have helped an Indian family become quite financially well off (by Indian standards).
Focus on your goals, and as I did most of the time, put up a shield and ignore snide remarks, and mix with good people who provide you the motivation to carry on and achieve your ultimate goal...a baby.
Well done
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