I watched an interesting show on Discovery Health channel (Foxtel) today and thought I would ask some of you who have been through or are considering IVF about it.
There is an organisation in the US that 'adopts' out the unused embryos of couples who have gone through IVF treatment. Basically, the process is much the same as adopting a child, couples apply to be considered for adoption and the couples donating their embryos have the opportunity to choose who should get their embryos. The extent of contact after a birth is then up to both couples. Obviously, the successful adopting couple have to go through the process of having the embryos implanted as if they had done IVF.
I wondered what anyone who has had IVF in Australia and wonders what to do with their remaining frozen embryos thinks of this. I imagine it would be a very difficult thing to have to decide (as you do currently) whether to destroy or donate your embryos for research or to other couples (anonymously here, I gather?). Would it make you feel better or worse to potentially see a child that is yours genetically go to a family of your choosing?
Anyway, I found the show very interesting and thought I would ask!
If I was ever blessed to be in the situation that I had Frozen embs that I would not use, I would definatly donate. I personally would not want anyone else to go though what I am going though. I also would rather not have to choose the couple either. Just knowing that they deeply desire a baby would be enough for me.
I also think it is easy for me to say that, as out of 4 IVF cycles I have only had one that ended up with frozen embies. So it is very unlikely I will be in that situation.
It is very interesting though as there are just so many factors to think about!
I had thought through these options before having IVF though and decided that while I would be happy to give another couple a chance to have a child as it is something I very much understand, I don't know how my "offspring" would feel later about me giving them up. I had visions of a person turning up on the doorstep saying "Why did you keep him and not me?"
For that reason, our decision was and is to donate any unused embryos for research as this will also help other infertile couples in many ways.
Hmmm interesting. If it were available here I'd have had to think longer and harder about what to do with my frozen emby. DH and I decided to donate it to research (we got to choose the project and thus refused the stem cell project)
If and when I ever have any remaining snowbubs that I cannot use - I would most definitely donate them to another couple given the chance. Would love to stop someone from going through the heartache we have. Would I wonder about them? Maybe, I dont know.
At our first ivf appointment with the nurses, one of the questions on our paperwork was "what would you like to do with your unused embryos". It was either to donate them anonomously, donate to research or destroy.
They did mention that if we donated them to another couple anonomously, once the "child" turned 18, they would be able to find out some information about us.
Danni, that's right. That was primarily why I decided against donating them to another couple. Perhaps if the donation could have remained anonymous, that may have been another story (important health information excepted of course).
As I said, it's not about my feeling toward the embryos as "children" of mine, but more my concern about how any child resulting from the donation would feel about the situation. I certainly would not consider myself the child's mother ... that is the role of the person who carries and gives birth to the baby and/or brings them up.
Danni, I wasn't given that option at my clinic. I had the option to keep them in cryo-storage or let them succumb (they just thaw them) or donate them to research.
I am fully aware that the little bundle of cells had the potential to become a person, but I don't see blastocysts as babies (just my opinion, am not trying to engage in any moral or religious debate). It wasn't easy signing the forms to donate to research, but it seemed the 'best' option at the time. I hope that by using the emby in a new culture (which was the research project I nominated) the clinics are able to improve their processes and help others get their little miracle to cuddle in their arms.
If we'd had the option to donate anonymously (and I mean completely anonymously) then we might have considered that. But my understanding is that this is not possible.
yes exactly. It was a hard decision to have made on the spot and I was a bit teary.
Dale and I decided to destroy them. I would love to help other women out but I would need it to remain ENTIRELY anonomous. And until they can assure that, then I cant bring myself to do it,.
I can only imagine donating embryos is an enormous decision to make. I just wanted to touch on something Jennifer said about donating anonymously in Australia.
For those considering it, it doesn't have to be anonymous and it is entirely possible to be able to choose which family your snowbabies will grow up in. This obviously isn't for everybody who decides to donate their embryos, but IS an option, particularly for those who have a need to preserve the relationship between full genetic siblings.
Just a thought for anyone interested - talk to your clinic about approaching those couples who are on the donor embryo waiting lists to see if there is anyone who is willing to embark on a known embryo donation journey with you and your own family.
This is a decision I am smack-damn in the middle of.
My XDH and I have two snow-bubs. At the time they were created, we decided to donate any 'excess' embies to research. We really didn't think we would be in the situation of having to do that. That was nine and a half years ago. As we went our separate ways five years ago, we had to discuss this issue again. It was an excruciating, painful and tearful day we signed the forms to have them destroyed.
However, I could never bring myself to post the consent form to the clinic. So, we still have two ice-bubs languishing in cryo until the ambivalence of what to do with them leaves me.
Me using them is fraught with many nightmarish, custody issues - my X has remarrried. I would never use them without X's consent as I would want my child to know who their biological father is. His new wife is none to pleased with the idea
Having spent a lot of time in Donor Conception circles over the past few months, I have to say I have gone full circle on known -v- anon donation of any gametes/embies. I was always a dyed-in-the-wool 'anon only' gal. The old story of education and information, gained from the right sources, changing my mind on an issue I really hadn't ever given a lot of serious thought to. But, that's a story for another thread!
Hmmmm, as always I've waffled - my aim was just to agree. Yes, it's a bl%dy hard thing to do.
Embryo adoption available in the US
Reply With Quote
Bookmarks