Friends and Family Supporting LTTTCers

[BloominRoses]

***Warning - Pregnancy talk***

Yes Tegam, finally getting most of it off of my chest helped in a HUGE way. Sometimes it seems easier just to gracefully nod my head and patiently accept all of the crap being flung my way, but pregnant or not, the same Shari still exists inside and a part of me just wants to grab her by the shoulders and shake some sense into her while sticking up for myself.

There's just no winning on this one so I have decided to follow both BG's advice and my heart and just remove myself gently for awhile. I still haven't seen her and each phone call I've received since my original post has continued along the same way as before: not one "how are you?", "what are you up to?", nothing. Just a "hello" from me and then listening to her launch into whatever rampage she's on at the moment. It's actually turned into a bit of a joke between DP and I: how many phone calls will it take before/if she asks me how I'm doing. Currently up to 14 at the moment.

I've essentially given up for the time being and am going to focus on my first pregnancy and sharing updates, etc with those around me who can even bother to feign interest and support. When I calmed down somewhat after my post and then reading BG's response, I bought a fetal doppler online which came in the mail yesterday so I've been listening to the Sprout's heartbeat when I've needed a lift. I can't continue to let her smudge what should be the happiest time of my life.

Thank you again for your great advice ladies - it definitely helped me to put things in perspective and reinforced to me what I guess I knew somewhere deep down.

Shari xo

[Tegam]

Pregnancy warning!!!!

***Warning - Pregnancy talk***


There's just no winning on this one

Woohoo for coming to this conclusion so quickly! This could have taken so much longer and every second you worried about this was a minute you missed out on a happy moment with your bubby...

I hope that the rest of your pregnancy is H & H!

Now the main thing to focus on now (after your baby) is not to feel guilty about removing yourself from that friendship. Yes you friend needs support at the moment, but that just cant be you! Take time for yourself and focus on all your supportive friends. Friendship is a two way street

[Poncho]

Okay, I've got a question about Mother's Day.

I've got a really dear friend who's been through a few failed IVF cycles. She doesn't really talk about it too much (I missed that stage of her life), and I don't think she's going back. She fosters a baby though (and may be able to adopt).

I'd love to be able to acknowledge her on Mother's Day, because she is a mother figure to this baby - but is that insensitive to her infertility? I'm leaning towards getting her a card or flowers, because of her wonderful care of this bub who may or may not one day be hers...but I don't want to aggravate any hurt.

What do you think?

[sushee]

I personally would be incredibly touched by an acknowledgement of my mothering of a foster child, despite being LTTTC. A mother comes in many forms, and I believe that is one of them.

But that's my personal opinion.

[infinity]

Head Poncho this sounds like a lovely thing to do. Personally being a LTTTC and the pain of missing out on all those little things that come with being a mother it would be wonderful to receive something as 'normal' as a mothers day card IKYWIM? Your friend is a mother to this child and for you to acknoweldge that will probably mean a lot to her. I do not think in any way are being insensitive to her infertility.

[Tegam]

A mother comes in many forms, and I believe that is one of them..

Id send her the card!

You are a good friend to think of this

[Poncho]

Thanks heaps guys. xo

[Maruschke]

I have a question for the LTTTC'ers. I understand that there probably isnt a uniform response to this question but...

I find the scientific aspect of IVF fascinating. It is hurtful or annoying when people ask you questions about IVF (but not about your cycle in particular). So I am not asking them how their cycle went or where they are up to, but just general questions that I had no idea about, such as...

When they do an ET, can they implant it straight into the lining (I now know that they don't).

It's not like I just come out of the blue and ask these kind of questions, I try to remain sensitive and only ask when I think that they are comfortable, but sometimes I hope that the question doesn't come across the wrong way.