Hi

I've been lurking on tons of sites and have finally decided to commit. Almost finished 2ww (IVF #2). HPT was BFN which is kindof expected but still lousy (are we allowed to swear?.... when it comes to IVF all I seem to want to do is swear). Quick sob story. Immigrated to Oz about 1 and a half years ago with hubby and his two children. Only support I had here was mother who got cancer 3 months after I arrived. She died a year later (very crappy). Anyway, so here I am in this new country, no friends (am not one of the most "likable" people), my brother's in the States (happy with his new baby), I have two close friends in SA (one of whom just fell pregnant...got married, went on honeymoon, get pregnant - how bloody marvellous!!!), with DH (only been together 3 years) who is not so desperate because he has his two kids who he loves to death (who I love too but I still desperately want my own), surrounded by children all the time and generally just feeling sorry for myself. Realise I am playing victim here but ****ed off with God at the moment, scared as all hell I'll never have kids (and what does one do then......) and really hoping there's somone out there who gets this....... (oh, and I don't really get the emoticon things....shall eventually I'm sure but still just focussing on mastering the abreviations!!!)