Received a text message today from a close friend to let us know that she is 13 weeks pregnant. And all I could do is cry when I read this. Don't get me wrong, I'm extremely happy for them but also envious. She is the third friend that is either just had a baby or is pregnant. I'm currently going through my third OI cycle.
Also get this, from my husband's ex-wife . Firstly she sms him to tell him that she is pregnant, then sms him that she has had the baby, then sms him when a photo of the baby will be in the local paper and finally on wednesday, she sms him to ask if he wants a photo of the baby (only found out this today, after the sms about my friend and her news). I was so ready to ring the ex-wife and tell her where to go and to get on with her own life. Feel like smacking the crap out of her at the moment. The ex still sends b'day and xmas cards. My hubby swears he does not contact her.
I'm feeling like an emotional basket case today.
Thanks for listening to my venting.
It is so very very hard to hear that friends and family are falling pregnant and having babies.
I have had this happen so many times since DH and I have been TTC. It doesn't get any easier. I am always truly happy for other people and always make the effort to send cards or presents or visit in hospital but inside I feel like my heart is being torn apart.
I always have a big cry and let it all out, then try to move on and focus again on our dream.
I cannot even imagine how you feel with the situation with DH's ex. I would probably want to inflict pain on her too!! Maybe you need to have a chat with DH and let him know exactly how hard it is on you for her to be contacting him all the time..especially with baby related news. Maybe he could ask her to stop making contact.
I hope tomorrow is a better day for you. I do truly understand the pain at hearing other people's happy news. It doesn't make us bad people..we just want our turn too.
Oh Tigerlilly - i really feel for you and know exactly how you are feeling.
I to feel the same currently 3 people at work just announced they are pregnant then my best friend who was also having trouble TTC (her second) rang me two days ago to tell me she had just tested and BFP, then another close friend came over for lunch the next day with her 9 month old and told me she was pregnant again! .
I am truly happy for everyone but it does make me sad and i have to have a big cry let it all out feel sorry for myself for a day or so then push on and try to re focus.
Thats all you can do - don't beat yourself up about it.
Addit - went to parents -in-laws for dinner last night - SIL is due in about 3 weeks - so i am trying to mentally prepare myself so the family doesn't think i'm a mental case!
Good luck hun
XXBella
(x3 OI BFN, then x1OI with injections - cancelled, taking a break til end of Oct)
So sorry gorgeous. It seems to happening everywhere at the moment. Everyone around me is falling pregnant too. It just drives you crazy sometimes. Hang in there because it will be your turn soon.
it's hard especially with sicko ex wives. stupid woman!!!
she sounds like she still has a hang up on him?, anyway try to ignore her , tell yourself she wasn't good enough to keep you dh so try to focus on you guys as a couple. i hope you get BFP real soon .
i dont think that there is an magic treatment for being rational when we hear that those around us are pg - or have had a baby. for me the only way to deal with it is to let it all out (poor dh normally cops it) and have a good cry - i sometimes write down how I'm feeling. I then give it time before I respond (where possible) knowing that given some time to cry and work through my grief at not having a baby, that I'm then able to be more positive and celerbrate with them their joy. It is hard and I think we all build amazing strength to be able to do it. having written that totally rational explaination, i can reflect on how heart destroying it is to hear about others pg and babies and that i am typically not rational or calm or supportive until after at least 2 days after hearing the news! dont beat yourself up for feeling negative or bad about someone elses pg - it is normal human nature.
As for your dh's ex wife - well done for not having a go at her so far - i think you are a better person than most of use would be in your shoes. from watching my parents own bad behaviour all i can offer is this - you can not (often) change others behaviour (esp adults), but only seek to understand it. i would have you dh explain to her that it is inappropriate for her to be contacting you both in this way, but after that if it keeps on, just relish the thought of how empty and poor her current r'ship must be if she feels the need to try and drag your dh back into her life - or worse still get his approval/congrats in order to feel happy about herself and her achievements! while it wont make things 100% better, it may help.
How do you deal with .....
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