Hi sararms,

I'm sorry that you're finding IVF so difficult. I, for one, know the feeling of not being sure when to give up.

It is a disappointing, heart-wrenching journey, and I do think that I did myself no favours in the end by believing it would be my miracle cure, and that it would happen in the first few cycles. I don't think there is a woman out there who doesn't think that when she first starts IVF. We all want to be the ones for whom it works first time.

A little background on me: I have had three children naturally previously (all in their teens now), and my DH has no fertility problems, and we, by rights, were the perfect candidates for IVF as my blocked tubes were my only fertility problems (due to a failed tubal ligation reversal) So when, 7 failed cycles later, no one could explain why it wasn't working, it was almost more than I could bear.

Luckily my story has a happy ending, as I am now 23 weeks pg from my 8th cycle. Did I think I was going to go for so long? Definitely not when I started, but in truth only you can decide how much you can take, and what price on your own life (or lack of a life in terms of IVF) you're willing to give up for what is essentially not a sure thing. It may happen the very next cycle, but it may not as well.

But having said that, it is not unusual for your first few cycles to fail (they don't tell you that when you go for your appts, do they?) because the doctors are still tweaking the meds, and will reference your hormone levels from your blood tests to regulate the meds for your later cycles. You should usually find that you will feel more in control in any subsequent cycles, and your doctor will have more of an understanding of how your body is working. And yes, miracles do happen sometimes and that much long-for baby comes along. There is just no magic number of cycles by which time it will definitely happen: for some, it's first time, and for others, it never does end up happening. If it's any consolation, though, most women fall by their 6th cycle.

I personally had no chance of falling pg naturally. Worrying, or not worrying, wouldn't have helped me at all. The thing that helped me the most was feeling in control, being informed, and allowing myself to heal with each disappointment.

Most importantly, though, was allowing myself to heal. And that may be what you need most of all. Hang in there! You're stronger than you think!

love
sushee