Vic what an awful day you have had, you have every right to feel everything you wrote. Losing a baby is the hardest thing, I will never say you forget it but in time it gets easier to accept. My DH always says to me that their was a reason it didn't continue and I always think of that on days when I am not coping and angry with it, although we will never know why and that still makes me angry.
If you need to talk, cry or vent about it make sure you do cause it needs to come out to help you if that's what you need to do to work through it and we are all always here for you.
I hope in time your pain eases and you can enjoy trying again with as little fear possible. I hope all of that came out right.
Sending you a huge hug and thinking if you xo