Oh Sarah, I am so very sorry hun that's just totally crapola and simply NOT FAIR!!
You are not silly for hoping for a diff outcome, you are simply human
Sending you a BIG virtual hug.....wish I could do more for you xx
Printable View
Oh Sarah, I am so very sorry hun that's just totally crapola and simply NOT FAIR!!
You are not silly for hoping for a diff outcome, you are simply human
Sending you a BIG virtual hug.....wish I could do more for you xx
It just sucks. I strongly suspect I had a very early chem pg last week too - had a lot of pg symptoms at 9dpo (including symptoms I don't normally get) and AF was a day late. My acu last night even agreed it seemed likely. But I never got a definite +HPT to confirm it (just a faint shadow at 10dpo, which was inconclusive), so no way of knowing...:
ps. I'm fine, just letting you know you're not alone in this. xx
Sarah, so sorry.:( Just really horrible and not fair at all. Hugs to you. Are you getting support around this?
Juniper, also very sorry about your chem preg (and not being able to confirm it).
WW
x
Sarah and Juniper I'm so so sorry to both of you, ttc really sucks sometimes and its so unfair, you are both in my thoughts and I'm sending you both lots of hugs xxxxx
Thanks girls xxxx lots of love back at you's
Juniper I'm there with you.... So over it!
Been consoling myself looking at egg donors ... Maybe my eggs shot I dunno :-/
Sarah and Juniper, lots of hugs coming your way ladies :hug:. I've never had a chem pg, but I'm sure it's devastating to know that something was beginning to happen and then stopped. Not fair :( Thinking of you both.
Quick update on me ladies...I went to see my FS on Monday and he was as flat as a pancake, saying he was disappointed the last 3 FETs didn't work. He just said he would support me in whatever I wanted to do, didn't try and pus me into another cycle, but did throw all the stats at me of getting pg at my age :(. So I think he was just covering his bum. So, after a long talk with my OH, we decided to look for a new FS. I was recommended Nick Logitis??? at Monash Clayton, and also Gareth West. Does anyone have any FS they would recommend in the SE suburbs or Monash Clayton? I was told Nick is very radical and the opposite to my FS, so maybe he'll have something else to try or he'll find something we've missed?
I'm sure one of the mods will chime in on this, but just make sure any feedback on specific doctors is sent via PM, not posted here. :):
Sorry to hear your FS isn't behind you 100%. I went for a FS with a more "radical" reputation (apparently one of his patients had quads) last time I changed and have been very happy with him. I figure with my AMH through the floor, we need to be aggressive in our treatment approach. My previous FS was very conservative, so I've gone from one extreme to the other... (Lol, and our first FS was simply out of his depth with us!) I can't help you with any specifics (since I'm in Brissie), so that's just general feedback that seeing a FS with a very different approach has felt like a good move for us. Oh, and he was also the one who diagnosed DH's issue - I still find it frustrating that our first 2 FS both missed it...
Thursday 15 May 2014:ninja:
Waiting for EPU/O/IUI/FET or just something to happen!
CatyO - taking a break
Kel82 - taking a break
PositivelyGTC - taking a break
Jo_white - saving for IVF
Bestrong - waiting for AF
Glorious - ???
Amy_jellybean - ???
Sarah4kurt - :angel:
Juniper76 - CD8
1 More Please (Rai) - CD9
Miss.B - CD17
Emma09 - CD18
Nothing2lose - CD18
Joski - CD24
Waiting for Transfer
Hanging out in the TWW (Stalk them here... https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...14-5-a-197228/)
Got their BFP in May :pray:
M.I.A. - We'd love to hear from you!
Ceejelz, Babycakes
If you would like to be added to The List or have your details amended, please just ask (and provide the applicable details).
Miss B - I tried to PM you but your inbox is full.
Hey girls ,
Miss b go for the radical one is what I'd do!
I'm thinking of changing too.
My bt confirmed chemical preg :-(
Does it ever ever end?!
Now I'm up to 8!!!
I feel so defeated today!
Juniper, thanks lovely :)
Sarah, I'm so sorry sweetie, you don't deserve this! I'm so peeved off for you hun, I really hope that you'll soon have a sticky one :pray:.
PlanetSasha, I've cleared my inbox. Thanks for replying hun!
Sarah, I'm sorry to hear the b/t confirmed your suspicions. Even going through this before, it doesn't stop us hoping for a miracle or praying that we're wrong. Be kind to yourself as you grieve your loss. xx
I will xo
Warning down post ahead...
I'm thinking of the scarey thing we all dread to think it's never going to happen , I hate the no guarantee thing!
You work hard at something long enough it will pay off we are taught, but not this and it blooming is not right.
A baby comes so easy to many I feel like a broken freak. Everyone around me has no probs or if they did easy fixed.
Every time I say I'm preg now I just wait to loose it, be optimistic they say! Yeah I tried that, tried praying my heart out , crying, begging, ignoring. Getting on with life.
Visualization blah blah
Same out come.
It annoys me that it can be only three things, uterus, sperm or eggs. 3!! Should be able to find out.
Not knowing why is hard.
I want answers like we all do.
My heart goes out to all of you xxx
Friday 16 May 2014:ninja:
Waiting for EPU/O/IUI/FET or just something to happen!
CatyO - taking a break
Kel82 - taking a break
PositivelyGTC - taking a break
Jo_white - saving for IVF
Bestrong - waiting for AF
Glorious - ???
Amy_jellybean - ???
Sarah4kurt - :angel:
Juniper76 - CD9
1 More Please (Rai) - CD10
Miss.B - CD18
Emma09 - CD19
Nothing2lose - CD19
Joski - CD25
Waiting for Transfer
Hanging out in the TWW (Stalk them here... https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...14-5-a-197228/)
Got their BFP in May :pray:
M.I.A. - We'd love to hear from you!
Ceejelz, Babycakes
If you would like to be added to The List or have your details amended, please just ask (and provide the applicable details).
For us, we know the sperm and eggs are a problem and all our m/c are probably due to chromosomal issues. So far, we've had no indication that there's a problem with the uterus, but it does scare me that we might find a problem there too if we eliminate the egg and sperm problems (with donor embryos)... At this point it's hard to not expect that extra disappointment...:
All you can do is ask your FS what other testing you can do to try to find the problem or try a new FS in hopes that a fresh set of eyes will see what your current FS has missed (if anything has been missed).
I agree that having those answers makes a big difference. Even though our answers pointed to untreatable problems, at least we know there's nothing more we can do and it's down to luck. When you don't know what the problem is, you end up torturing yourself wondering if you could be preventing it, if only you knew what needed to be done... So let me tell you one important thing: It is not your fault. :hug:
Sorry to hear about your chem Sarah :hug:
I too have had 3 chemical pregnancies.
My FS has put them down to chromosomal abnormalities.
We're now doing PGD to look for that 1 perfect embryo..... It's hard :hug:
Big hugs thanks for your positive words juniper.
Would you consider going further with donated emby or such?
I think I would go the donor eggs as long as my partners sp. As long as I get a baby.
But it's hard to come to terms with it all!
Emma big hugs too it's bloody tuff, chems are the worst.
I feel like nut after having 8 now!
I'm the woman who cried pregnant! Instead of wolf lol.
Have you got any good embies yet using pgd?
How many rounds?
What a ride!
We had 1 good out of 9 last cycle :-(
That was our first PGD.
Starting another cycle now.... Really have my fingers crossed for better numbers!
1 out of nine gosh, who knew. I wonder how many of us on this tuff journey that haven't been Testing using pgd actually have such dud emby numbers ratios and we just don't know it!
I only had a dud cycle of 3 eggs last IVF we had! Prob all dud lol
The highest number I got was 8 eggs.
Strange thing for me is we mainly get a + hpt using ovulation induction/natural .
And ivf doesn't even get us a bfp. Only once briefly.
I really pray you get your golden emby next!
Expensive game.
Sarah, yes, donor embryos are certainly an option for us. DH is okay with donor eggs, donor embryos and adoption (lol, all the expensive options!!). He's dead set against donor sperm (with my eggs), so that's the only option that's out for us. Our FS has recommended both donor eggs and donor sperm, so donor embryos is also a logical extension of those recommendations. Additionally, donor egg/embryo cycles can be done after menopause, so that takes some of the pressure off (given that I may have only a year or two before menopause).
Emma, keeping FX for you this cycle. :crossfingers:
Oh that's good juniper :-) I'm glad you got options too.
I don't think my DF would even consider donor sperm either.
Gosh I'd hate to tally up how much we spend on this!
Lots and lots of saving! (debt too!)
I'm off to see FS on thurs to map another plan (yet again!)
I have decided us on our own with OI is not working lol :wall:
It's kinda good to know time frames can relax a little then!
I'm tired of feeling like a dried up ol lady of 36!! All I think when I see other women my age these days is I wonder if they got hardly any eggs left? Lol.
I used to be a blooming swimwear model before starting ttc and I don't look old yet! Sheesh.
Yeah that's my bruised ego I guess. It hits you this journey in every spot. I used to feel like I shined now my shine is kinda gone and I got to get some of it back!
40 is the new 30 they say these days! ... Nobody told my blooming eggs that! I see a lot of older mummies out there and a lot say it happend natural! All I think is please lend me your repro parts if you done then ha ha ;)
Gosh I'm rambling.
Anyway, chin up and soldier on ladies :D
Healthy bubsy dust xxxxx
Saturday 17 May 2014:ninja:
Waiting for EPU/O/IUI/FET or just something to happen!
CatyO - taking a break
Kel82 - taking a break
PositivelyGTC - taking a break
Jo_white - saving for IVF
Bestrong - waiting for AF
Glorious - ???
Amy_jellybean - ???
Sarah4kurt - :angel:
Juniper76 - CD10
1 More Please (Rai) - CD11
Miss.B - CD19
Emma09 - CD20
Nothing2lose - CD20
Joski - CD26
Waiting for Transfer
Hanging out in the TWW (Stalk them here... https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...14-5-a-197228/)
Got their BFP in May :pray:
M.I.A. - We'd love to hear from you!
Ceejelz, Babycakes
If you would like to be added to The List or have your details amended, please just ask (and provide the applicable details).
Sarah, your spirit is just infectious!! You really make me laugh, and I am still quite down over my own miscarriage. I am really hoping and wishing for a healthy baby for you and Kurt . It just seems like a mystery, and such a cruel process. You were a swimwear model? Seriously? That is pretty great. Not something I can put on my own CV, thankfully for the public. Seriously, though, saying goodbye to your own genetics is a sad thing and a big step but I do know a few ladies who have their babies that way, with donor eggs or embryos and they are so happy. I am thinking about it too. It can feel overwhelming though.
Juniper, so your DH is opposed to mixing genetics? I do get that point of view, too. It is a really complex emotional area. Hold on a sec, I was just re-reading your post. So your DH opposes another man's sperm to be more precise. How do you feel about that?
Emma, that must be so so tough, the PGD. I have 7 stored embryos, generated through two IVF cycles, one a freeze-all. So we battled for those embryos. I am scared about PGD because I am scared about damaging an embryo that would have been good, and I am scared about facing that call (we have had similar calls with zero fert failed cycles) where they say they are all bad. But it is the next stop for us. Do you have any advice?
AFM, I am ok. I am pretty good today. Saw my newborn nephew and my brother & SIL and they were really kind and sensitive (helps when broader family not there). When I think about TTC, I don't have much hope TBH. Or rather I oscillate between ridiculous "I'll get pregnant next cycle" scenarios and ... it is Christmas 2017 and I am still not pregnant, and DH and I are breaking up etc etc .... just catastrophising.
Wishing everyone a lovely relaxed weekend, good baby vibes,
WW
x
Sunday 18 May 2014:ninja:
Waiting for EPU/O/IUI/FET or just something to happen!
CatyO - taking a break
Kel82 - taking a break
PositivelyGTC - taking a break
Jo_white - saving for IVF
Bestrong - waiting for AF
Glorious - ???
Amy_jellybean - ???
Sarah4kurt - :angel:
Juniper76 - CD11
1 More Please (Rai) - CD12
Miss.B - CD20
Emma09 - CD21
Nothing2lose - CD21
Joski - CD27
Waiting for Transfer
Hanging out in the TWW (Stalk them here... https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...14-5-a-197228/)
Got their BFP in May :pray:
M.I.A. - We'd love to hear from you!
Ceejelz, Babycakes
If you would like to be added to The List or have your details amended, please just ask (and provide the applicable details).
To be honest, I'm annoyed by the double standard when it comes to the idea of just one of us having a genetic link, but grateful that he's okay with neither of us having that link so we're not in an impossible situation (we have been told most donor egg programs would not allow us to use DH's sperm, so if he was insisting he have a genetic link no matter what, we'd be screwed).:
I'm glad to her your brother and SIL made your visit easier to bear. I'm sure others here will agree that you're not alone in those thoughts about your own fertility. There's no way of knowing what the future will bring, so you just have to decide if you're prepared to keep trying and risk further disappointments... I'm still in the "gotta be in it to win it" frame of mind, although I admit there is a certain amount of heel dragging (eg I was supposed to start OPKs yesterday but didn't) because I'm kind of fed up with the endless TTC...
Monday 19 May 2014:ninja:
Waiting for EPU/O/IUI/FET or just something to happen!
CatyO - taking a break
Kel82 - taking a break
PositivelyGTC - taking a break
Jo_white - saving for IVF
Bestrong - waiting for AF
Glorious - ???
Amy_jellybean - ???
Sarah4kurt - :angel:
Juniper76 - CD12
1 More Please (Rai) - CD13
Miss.B - CD21
Emma09 - CD22
Nothing2lose - CD22
Joski - CD28
Waiting for Transfer
Hanging out in the TWW (Stalk them here... https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...14-5-a-197228/)
Got their BFP in May :pray:
M.I.A. - We'd love to hear from you!
Ceejelz, Babycakes
If you would like to be added to The List or have your details amended, please just ask (and provide the applicable details).
My best friends just told me she's pregnant :-/ .
Here we go, I hate not being able to just enjoy such thing with her without it stinging me every time in which I have to hide. I love her and am very happy for her and she felt so bad telling me, I told her not to feel bad at all!
This ltttc is slapping me in the face today!! And I only just staterd bleeding yesterday, I feel so defeated.
I hope one of us gets a win in here soon it's due for it!
Xox
Hi ladies, I'm Pholi. I'm new. :)
I've been stalking for a whole now, but I think it's time I introduced myself.
We're just getting started on AC for any number 2. We have DS who is 20 months, and was conceived by ICSI on the first cycle. We have MFI - my DP has an epidydimal cyst which gives him pretty low sperm count, so we knew that we were likely to need help this time too.
So I've seen my FS again, he's happy to go ahead and make us pregnant again. He's keen to do the Ovarian reserve blood tests to help determine drug doses, for which I need to be no longer BF.
So DS had his last feed last Wednesday, and is coping surprisingly well! It's one more week before I can get the tests done, three weeks for the results to come in and see the FS again to discuss results, and if the timing is right, I might be able to get a cd21 appt straight away and start an egg collection cycle then! But I'm cd24 today, on a 31 day cycle, give or take, so it's cutting it really fine, and we might have to wait a whole other month. :/
I'm really glad to be getting this process started, I've been feeling 'ready' to get pg since DS was 7 months, but we didn't start trying til he was 12 months. Then DP wanted to put off getting an FS appt cos he was worried about money, then it took 2 months to actually get the first appt... I feel very hopeful, since we conceived DS on the first go, but if course I'm that much older now, and there are no guarantees in this game.
Anyway, I'm looking forward to getting to know you all a little better. :)
Pholi welcome hope your stay is short xxx
Just wanting to ask about the ovarian reserve blood test I have heard its not very accurate and its not worth the money. What's everyone's thoughts?
I thought of having one as well then got told its not worth it but if you think it is maybe I should have one before my ivf as well??
Welcome pholi :-) hope it goes just as smooth this first time as well!
1 moreplease, I got my AMH done and I don't know but I believe it is correct in being low for me . Other things point to this so that's not the definitive one.
I am a poor responder and less in my antral follicular count ect. Periods lighter. Short Luteal phase. Ect.
But then I've heard of it being wrong! And I've heard of the regeneration studies/ theory being that women can actually produce more eggs like mens sperm given the right circumstances!
I've still not found help in knowing my AMH level it did nothing bar scare me lol.
Tuesday 20 May 2014:ninja:
Waiting for EPU/O/IUI/FET or just something to happen!
CatyO - taking a break
Kel82 - taking a break
PositivelyGTC - taking a break
Jo_white - saving for IVF
Bestrong - waiting for AF
Glorious - ???
Amy_jellybean - ???
Sarah4kurt - :angel:
Juniper76 - CD13
1 More Please (Rai) - CD14
Miss.B - CD22
Emma09 - CD23
Nothing2lose - CD23
Joski - CD29
Waiting for Transfer
Hanging out in the TWW (Stalk them here... https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...14-5-a-197228/)
Got their BFP in May :pray:
M.I.A. - We'd love to hear from you!
Ceejelz, Babycakes
If you would like to be added to The List or have your details amended, please just ask (and provide the applicable details).
Pholi, hi and welcome!
Rai, it's pretty standard for most, if not all, FS to want to run AMH these days. It was the first thing my old FS did when we went back to see him after DD was born. The thing to remember is that it's just one piece of the puzzle - to get the full picture, you really want to consider AMH, CD3 bloodwork and AFC (antral follicle count) together. Sadly, for me, the three of those all agree on a fairly bleak picture. But for some women, there can be large discrepancies (eg low AMH but good AFC, meaning they still respond well to the stims).
HI Ladies, Happy Tuesday to you all :)
Miss B - GL with trying out a new FS if it feels right then go for it
Sarah - You too hun, FX and who knows perhaps all you need is a fresh set of eyes
Emma - What is PGD? GL hun I am crossing everything for you, as I wish for all the others Ladies praying you have a positive outcome
WW - You did so well with meeting your newborn nephew, good on you it must have been pretty tough going
Pholi - Welcome to the forum, hope your stay is short and sweet. GL with starting your treatment
1more - I am with Sarah I have found knowing my AMH level has just caused more stress/worry I now can't help thinking about my low levels which feeds my obsession. I would honestly rather not know and just keeps TTC without that hanging over my head
But that is only my opinion and I totally respect that everyone is different and some may find comfort in knowing. You go with your gut! GL
AFM - it's finally come time to start planning SIL's babyshower :( so far the invites are done need to get them printed and mailed out. It is damn tough going I dread seeing her now as she gets much larger and when you do see her she just constantly rubs her tummy and advises it's kicking etc (yes im jealous!) the crapola thing is every single time we catch AF is here for me which somehow makes it feel like it's been rubbed in my face. Silly I know
I now just want the babyshower over and done with, we start IVF the week after the shower I guess I will have that to look forward to unless the universe blesses us before then with a BFP....you never know
Ladies I am sending you all a BIG virtual hug, we all deserve it as we continually embark on this very difficult journey. We are all STRONGER than we seem
Love & Light xx
+OPK today, putting O on our wedding anniversary tomorrow... Wish I could still be so naive as to think that was a sign it was "meant to be"... :rolleyes: Here we go with another 2ww...
Wednesday 21 May 2014:ninja:
Waiting for EPU/O/IUI/FET or just something to happen!
CatyO - taking a break
Kel82 - taking a break
PositivelyGTC - taking a break
Jo_white - saving for IVF
Bestrong - waiting for AF
Glorious - ???
Amy_jellybean - ???
Sarah4kurt - :angel:
Miss.B - CD23
Emma09 - CD24
Nothing2lose - CD24
Joski - CD30
Waiting for Transfer
Hanging out in the TWW (Stalk them here... https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...14-5-a-197228/)
Juniper76 - CD14 0dpo
1 More Please (Rai) - CD15 ?dpo
Got their BFP in May :pray:
M.I.A. - We'd love to hear from you!
Ceejelz, Babycakes
If you would like to be added to The List or have your details amended, please just ask (and provide the applicable details).
Juniper Happy wedding anniversary xxx and I know exactly how you feel I'm the same now but saying that I have everything crossed this is a lucky sign and
you get your very well deserved BFP this month xxxx
I think I have O'd but not sure not taking much notice so could you put me in the 2ww anyway expecting nothing but getting excited counting down till ivf
Good luck juniper I wish it for you! Who knows :-) . Xxx
Good luck juniper and happy anniversary!
I had a cervical biopsy yesterday......
Much more painful than last time- the cramps were intense!
Start elonva next Wednesday!
Thanks ladies. After ignoring my birthday and mothers' day earlier this month, DH bought me some long stem roses, emptied and filled the dishwasher (small things make me happy!) and brought home some vietnamese for dinner (which he doesn't like as much as me) and wine (which he doesn't drink at all) after work. Can't complain... :)
Rai, FX for a happy little miracle before you get to the IVF!
Emma, hope you're feeling better now. GL with your cycle!!
My FS's take on it is that AMH and FSH levels between them will help him to determine starting levels for IVF. One thing I wanted to (and did) discuss with him was why my egg collection cycle was 'not looking good, weight have to cancel' in a Monday, then on Wednesday , it was 'great, egg collection will be friday', then we only got 3 eggs, when the count of follicles had been much higher .
He said it definitely wasn't rushed to get egg collection find before the weekend , but for a first cycle, the dosages are a bit conservative, and he needs to review my find before answering any more fully. I was happy with that - he didn't gave all the dosage and measurement info in front of him, after all. But this relatively low response suggests we need to start with bigger doses this time, and these tests will help him decide how much bigger.
I am philosophical about these things. If it's low, it's low, and knowing or not knowing it won't change it.