Does anyone else have a problem opening up about how they are feeling, about infertility, IVF, pregnancy announcements etc.
Sometimes, I really feel like I want/need to open up and talk about it before my head explodes.
Emma, I really understand what you are saying!!! It is so hard and I told my best friend who has just loved back home from Sydney that we were doing treatments, thinking it would bring us together but it has actually created a wedge!
I am so so lucky that I have found amazing friends here and that we are able to support each other because we know what each other is going through!!! Huge huggles for you!!!
xxx
Re: Long Term TTC & Assisted Conception Jan 2013
*stalking*
Hey Emma.
You can feel free to talk to me anytime, even if its to ***** that I got my bfp. I won't mind. That's what friends are for. I'm still here for you anytime you need me. Tried dropping in to see you today, but your dh said you were out. Sending you lots of hugs, and hope you know I think about you nearly every day.
I totally know how you feel. The only person I have to really open up to is my husband - and even he's been useless to talk to lately.
My mother's reaction when I told her we were going to use IVF was "Well then you better get off your fat ass and lose some weight then hadn't you?" So I haven't spoken to her about IVF and the progress we're at again since. My dad's always worried about the money side of it but can't wait to be a grandfather.
Living as remotely as we do I don't have any friends, so I've just been shutting it all up inside to date and hoping when our journey starts next month everything goes smoothly cause otherwise I think I may well fall apart.
Honestly, I don't think you can even begin to understand unless you have been through it yourself.
It's not just the long term infertility, it's the repeated ivf failure. IVF is meant to be your last and best chance. When it doesn't work time after time it erodes your self esteem, your sense of hope, your optimism, your confidence....and it drains you physically, emotionally and financially. Your whole life is on hold and you're fighting what seems a losing battle.
I feel the same way.. I unfortunately was an open book when I started all of this and so most of my friends and family know about it... I completely regret that now as it was devastating last month having to tell everyone my cycle had been cancelled and trying to explain something that they know nothing about. I'm lucky with DH as he is amazing and my parents are very supportive. Another reason I'm not telling this time around is because I really want to keep it to myself for 12 weeks if and when I do get a BFP, it's going to be hard to do when some still know where I'm at-I will have to lie which I will struggle with...
having a bit of a tough day today. we would have had a scan today and got to keep a load of images as I signed up to ultrasound training soon after our bfp. maybe in an alternate world I got the scan, I have never wanted af to come as much as I do now so we can try again.
a well meaning friend said her mum had 10 miscarriages before she had her, not really what I want to hear :'(
Waiting for EPU/O/IUI/FET or just something to happen! Kerbear - taking a break Myturn - taking a break Blossom - taking a break until Feb/Mar kbudgie - waiting for AF Jo_white - CD3 Faye* - CD7 Juniper - CD8 Rai - CD9 Sarah4Kurt - CD14 Nic - CD14 Treenie86 - CD22 Me4ever - CD23 N2L - CD24
Furbabies - CD33 Emma - CD34
Emma, while we have some friends who road the IF roller coaster, one of them conceived quickly on clomid and the one who did IVF never wanted to talk about it (it was like she wanted to forget it). I have always relied on my online friends for support and would never have stayed sane through all the treatments without that support. At it's best, it's a lonely road to walk; at it's worst, it will break you.
N2L, well said, as always.
Mel, sounds like your mum and mine would get along. My mum opted for, "That's too clinical. You should just keep trying naturally. It should be about love." Then she got her nose out of joint when I didn't include her in the process. Funny that...
kbudgie, those milestone never pass us by un-noticed and it's hard because no-one else knows about them or remembers them to know we're hurting. They can make us feel so alone.
Seems like today we need hugs all round, so here we go:
Afm, trying to organise a cake for DD's birthday. As usual, DH doesn't want to do anything to celebrate, but her 1st birthday party was cancelled (I couldn't cope with organising so soon after the d&c) and now that I know we may never get another chance at this, I can't let the 2nd slip by un-celebrated as well. I'm spending half the time dreaming up the perfect cake and the other half crying because I don't want her to grow up alone. Can we say "basket case"?
Waiting for EPU/O/IUI/FET or just something to happen! Kerbear - taking a break Myturn - taking a break Blossom - taking a break until Feb/Mar kbudgie - waiting for AF Jo_white - CD4 Faye* - CD8 Juniper - CD9 Rai - CD10 Sarah4Kurt - CD15 Nic - CD15 Treenie86 - CD23 Me4ever - CD24 N2L - CD25
Furbabies - CD34 Emma - CD35
I really feel for you ladies but I can't begin to imagine what it feels like to m/c, especially on such a rollercoaster TTC journey.
I feel a bit silly because I'm at the start of my IVF journey and I'm feeling excited and cautious about feeling too excited incase it doesn't work, and the worst thing I have to deal with at the moment is trying to juggle work and scans and the injections! I'm now CD3 and started my injections today and have my first scan tomorrow. I'm so happy to finally get started after all this waiting, and crossing my fingers for a BFP first time around!
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Long Term TTC & Assisted Conception Jan 2013
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