Thanks girls, yes well DH has been so loving and wonderful through all of this. I did say with an evil eye I was going to smack him if he asks again if this is low GI when I went to get something out the fridge! I know hes trying to help. Gotta give my man top points for being persistant. I think you hit the nail on the head about low self esteem. I just feel so ugly and dont want him looking at ugly, non fertile, too many male hormone me. BUT at least im not going to drown my sorrows in something bad to eat. I think breaking that cycle for myself has been a huge step this year.