As I left work today another girl told me she is 12 weeks pregnant (that's 2 in the last week). It was her 4th time of ivf. I am happy for her but my first reaction was 'when is it my turn?'. Hopefully tomorrow but then I know it's a long way to get to 12 weeks. If the result is positive tomorrow I am so scared of miscarrying again.
Thanks ladies, I am actually feeling better than I was last Friday. Last Friday when they told me that the hcg didn't double, I knew there was something wrong and I had a good cry, Saturday had a good cry too and yesterday I picked all my pieces up and thought "that's it, I can't do anything but just to pray for a miracle (like someone of you says on your signature, sorry I cant remember who...). Anyway I left everything in God's hands, after all man proposes, God disposes...
Today when I got the call from the clinic and they told me the bad news, I just thought "pfffttt ok" of course I felt bad, but didn't feel like having another big loud cry. I guess I will have the cry when AF arrives as the nurse said I should expect to have a very painful period this time and that really scares me, as I am not familiar with painful periods at all, she even said that if it gets too bad to go the emergency department of the hospital???? Now, that scares me...
Juniper, I will let you know when AF arrives, so you add to the list on CD1, I think I will try to get pregnant naturally for a few months, but I don't think that will happen, if has not happened in nearly 2 years. I don't know when I will think in having a FET, which the nurse surprised me when she said I had 2 frozen embryos, I thought I had only one... she said the fourth one, was the one that didn't make it, I guess I was so excited about having a transfer that didn't really listen what they said. So, of 4 eggs, I got 3 embryos, is not that bad.
Well what can I say, it was my first IVF and even that didn't, it went very smooth, hubby gave me the injections which didn't hurt, just a bit itchy the first time, I didn't feel any mood swings, no pain, just a bit bloated, but just like when I abuse of popcorn... I thought if I get pregnant in this IVF it will be like "My God I am pregnant and I didn't even participate" if felt so alien, if that makes sense.
Buying hpt is something new for me, as I only bought a pregnancy test the last cycle and this one, I always get my period every 31 days like a clock work, and I have bought every month is the digital ovulation test and every month I ovulate on day 17, at least for the last 16 months, and never had a missed period until last cycle, I missed my period for 6 days and on day 36 of my cycle I bought a hpt and it came positive, the second line wasn't as dark as the other. The nurse called me to ask why I still didn't call to book my IVF and I told her I was missing my period and she asked if I could be pregnant and I told her about the hpt, she asked me to wait 2 more days and if still AF didn't arrive, go to the clinic for a bt, but AF arrived the next day and I called to book my IVF.
CatyO, would you like me to add you back on the list now with your little angel until CD1?
As for the (potentially) painful AF, when I had my chem pg (5w4d), the first 4 hours were quite bad. I normally have painful AFs (thanks to my endo), but these were twice as bad as normal (and that's saying something). But after those few hours, I passed what I assume was the sac and after that the pain was minimal. It's not the same for everyone and having a plan in place to go to the ER if you do have a lot of pain might be enough of a safety net to not need to go. It never occurred to me to go to hospital with my chem pg, but I was given the same instruction while waiting for my d&c (go to the ER if I started bleeding before the d&c). The hospital can't do anything other than pain management, but that can be a big help if it's bad.
And don't count yourself out on a natural BFP. We had been TTC 2.75 years and done 6 IUI, 3 IVF and 1 FET (all BFN) before getting our first ever BFP (the chem pg) and it was a natural conception. Stranger things have happened...
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