Fig - that is a great conincedance, hopefully your luck will rub off to me (hee hee)
So to turn things negative and I hope you don't mind, I would like to have a little vent, so I apologise now, but really need to get it off my chest. I am only day 2 in my 2ww and I am already feeling negative about the whole cycle. This morning the clinic called to let me know that not one of my embryos made it to freezing. What is hard about this phone call was we were told that we had 27 folicles, then at EPU we go 17 eggs and of those 10 fertilised on day 1, on day 3 after EPU we had 6 at stage 2 and 4 dragging there heels by a day or two then at ET (day 5), 1 embryo (which was a grade 1) which was transferred and maybe 2 could be frozen. We are happy and greatful to know that we got these numbers, as the situation could of been very different, we know of others (friends) that have had less but we are finding it hard to be told today we have none left . The remaining embroys where given an extra day after ET for further growth so they can be in the best condition to freeze as this can be a very stressful time for the embryo. I understand that day 4 & 5 after EPU are the vital days and they see alot fall away as this is where the do the most growing, but how can that be, how can 1 only be the only 1 or if the 1 that was transferred was left for another day with the others would it be of the same quality, was it doomed before it even went back in??? The clinic said that the transferred one was the best of the bunch and none of the others where in the same condition and that is great to know and I understand that not all concieve on there first cycle and sometimes it may take a few goes but I was hoping the few goes we may have to do could of been a frozen go, a little easier on the body. My DH is frustrated that if it is required I have to go through the whole ICSI process again to maybe come out with same outcome. He is saying the things I was saying back in the early days like "could this be it" or will we be a family of mum and dad and the two dogs" I know you need to think positive cause this cycle may be our positive but I don't know what to think or feel. If anyone has been in the same situation your advise/stories would be greatly appreciated for both me and my DH.
Anyway I will get off my soap box! Thanks for the vent
Just wanted to let you know you're not alone!
We have done 4 fresh cycles - the first 2 were a disaster, but our last 2 (both this year) have been almost identical to yours.
In April, we had 18 eggs at EPU, 10 fertilised, and then numbers slowly dropped off until by day 5 we had 2 blasts, 2 morulas, and 2 8 cells.
We had the 2 blasts put back, and they said to forget the 2 8 cells, but wanted to grow the 2 morulas for another 24hrs before deciding on putting them back.
By the next day they hadn't progressed, and so they didn't bother.
We had a BFN that cycle.
Cycle no 2 for this year we've only just finished - my BFN came about a week and a half ago... after again having 18 eggs, and the same thing almost identical to last cycle.
By the day of transfer, we had the 2 blasts put back, and 1 blast and 1 morula kept for another 24hrs before deciding not to freeze.
I know how frustrated you are feeling - and both DH and myself have asked the exact same questions to ourselves, all I can offer you is to hang in there!!!
You just never know, there are ladies out there who get a BFN on a fresh cycle, and then get a pregnancy out of the FET from the same cycle...????!!!! This seems crazy to me, as you would think the best embryos would have gone back in first, but its the frozen ones that end up turning into babies!!!
We have just been at the stage where we have thought - is this it? We just keep getting the same results, is that all we'll ever get to, but I am just too damn stubborn to stop, and I just know that if I fight for something long enough, it just HAS to eventually come to me!!!
The power of positive thinking is amazing sometimes... especially at times when you think thats all you've got!
We have been doing IVF for 4 yrs now, and although we're yet to get the end result, its been amazing how things have changed and improved with the treatment, so I just keep thinking how far ahead they must get with the technology year after year.
Things can only get better for us - just stay positive, and when its our time - no matter how long it may take and how frustrated we might be - I believe that when we are holding the baby in our arms, we will straight away forget about all of the heartache that got us there!!!!
Sending much love and positive thoughts to you
Holly xxx
Registered User
Bookmarks