Hey, I am just wondering if I can join in this thread. I have been watching you guys for ages, and following your stories and being really inspired by your courage and persistence. Qualities which seem a bit in short supply for me right now.

You can see my story a bit in my signature. We started TTC for another child maybe 2 years ago, saw our FS start of this year and received the news that my AMH was 1.3, possibly due to a lap in 2010 which removed a lot of endo including an endometrioma from my left ovary (and immediately after which we conceived our daughter after years of AC!!) and also that I have adenomyosis too. Oh and that my DH's sperm's abnormal. Love going to doctors! Since then we have had 3 transfers (2 fresh, 1 thaw from ICSI), none successful. We have learnt from the scans that my left ovary doesn't produce more than 1 follicle (even with 450 units of Gonal F) and my right now has an endometrioma (3.3cm) growing, and this is the productive ovary. We have 3 embryos frozen and just waiting for a recommendation from our FS on whether surgery before any more transfers would be appropriate. This is like going all in at the casino, because, as I have seen with my own eyes, those ovaries don't recover from the surgery, so we prob couldn't do any more IVF after the lap.

I just want to have a bit more hope than I currently have. What complicates things is that the birth of my daughter and the following nearly 3 years have been extremely tough with a series of health problems, and at times incapacity to care for my much loved much longed-for child. So I am quite scared about having another child and wonder if we should, at times. I feel incredibly lucky to have her and quite conflicted about even posting here, because I remember going through primary infertility and it is a different kettle of fish. It is so very hard. But what's going on here for me now is also really hard.

I just really wanted to say that just reading you guys is inspiring. You just keep on going.

I had a month off (like actually avoiding getting pregnant) and it was heaven. I focused on other things. But now I feel some pressure to try again, which is ridiculous because apparently we have around a 2 per cent chance of becoming pregnant naturally at this point. So why stress?

Anyway ....

Good luck and strength to all for the Christmas period and upcoming tests, procedures.

WW
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