Hi Possums sending you big hugs. I know exactly how you are feeling as i feel like that too at the moment and its a hard place to come out of! My DH and i have been fighting a little bit too which is really unusual and the toll of the LTTTC is hitting us hard!
I am now trying daily to shift my mindset and we are also looking into adoption as well so i can try to release the fear of what if this doesnt happen and to know there are other options out there (obviously not quite the same though).
I am definately not the same carefree person that i used to be but i am definately a whole lot stronger and much more grateful for a lot of the things in my life.
We do attend and play a big part in our friends and families childs lives but i tell you sometimes its hard and you feel like a fish out of water but in those times my dh and i get stronger and have each other to vent.
We both get counselling and healings at the moment which also seems to be helping us.
I wish you lots of luck on your journey and sending you lots of babydust.
x