Tilygirl - Huge hugs babe, what a rough way to spend your birthday If you are upset at your sister I'd have a chat with her and find out if this is really how she feels or if she is just saying it. Let her know if you feel she should just go ahead and try for her next rather than waiting for you. Please don't feel inadequate, it is not our fault our bodies do what they do. There are heaps of women out there pg and with babies who really are inadequate, as people and as mothers, so being inadequate has nothing to do with your ability to get pg or have a baby, the whole thing is just stupidly chaotic! I do know what you mean about sabotaging getting pg though. I have often felt that I have subconsciously stopped myself conceiving to protect myself from the pain of another loss and it was not till I truely let go of my babies that I felt ready to accept another one. As for Mother's Day well you are a mum in my mind. I have a mother's day card someone gave me for mother's day during my second pregnancy (she did not know I had actually already mc) but I still treasure it because to me it represents the fact that someone else acknowledged that even without a baby to hold in my arms I was, and still am a mum. You will always be Lucy's mum.

TMS - I can't imagine the pain of those memories I hope you get to have a lovely time away with a surprise BFP.

Joeve - You can put me as taking a break on the list if you like as we won't be starting IVF till July

Hi everyone else hope you have a nice weekend.

AFM - I'm glad Donor daddy agreed to the IVF though part of me still wonders why I'm bothering as I have 0% faith in it working. I think it is just so I can know at least I tried. I have appt with FS on tuesday to discuss when we will start and when he wants to do my lap and D&C. I am taking the next 3-4 months to get as fit and healthy as I possibly can so I'll know I gave it everything. I have joined the gym and as of monday it is back to all the joys of 'no fun February' hmmmm! TTC is so much fun, not!