LT TTC after Miscarriage or Loss #12

Wonderful news sunbeam!!

Great news sunbeam! :confetti:

Hi all,
Just wanted to say I miss you all lots and am checking up on you every day!
Yay Sunbeam - I'm so glad you get to do IVF!!! :)

Hi girls, I miss u guys! Although I have been absent I have still been checking up on you all. DH is ok, we are sorting it out. I will hopefully be back in a few weeks and back on the ttc wagon :lol:
Good luck everyone xx

great news Sunbeam and tasha xxx

hi tasha - glad things are sounding more positive, look fwd to having you back really soon. :)

dr's appt went well today, agreed to my crazy list of stuff to test for, even threw in a few extras i hadnt asked for. although i did have another pap smear drama - 3 speculums & 2 x dr's later we managed to get it done. :redface: naturopath appt went well too, really nice to talk to her again and have a plan to boost my mood & health. actually looking fwd to starting those foul tasting herbs. might not get me pregnant, but will put me in a better space when i try again. hope you've all had a great day. xx
(mich - miss you too & im sure im not the only one stalking your progress in the other thread...!)

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Sunbeam- that is such great news!

Saffy- Yes I remember you from last year aswell. I have been on and off BB since then. BB has helped me so much after the loss of Lucy, even though I don't post a whole lot, it was a wealth of information and comfort.

Joeve- I am now cd1

AFM- My younger sister who has a daughter (surprise pregnancy) almost 2 now, has been getting a lot of questions about when they will be having their next child by family and friends. My sister had a pretty rough start with it being a surprise and with me losing my first pregnancy at 12 weeks, she kept it a secret until she was about 19 weeks as she didn't want to upset me. Anyway motherhood wasn't all that she thought it would be, I think it was harder than she thought, her daughter was a terrible sleeper and as much as she loves her and wouldn't change things for the world, having a a baby certainly put a dint in her very social life and she has since said she won't be having anymore kids until her daughter is 5 or so. Anyway, recently I have overheard her saying to relatives and friends on a couple of occasions when ask when she is planning the next, that "she couldn't possible think of having any more children until I have managed to have one"! I am not sure if it is because I am extra emotional lately, but I find it horiifying that she is saying this to prople. I already feel inadequate, now I am holding her back. I don't think she even wants anymore children at the moment but I think she thinks people will think she is being, I don't know, ?? selfless maybe?
Am I over reacting because of my mentalness, I am losing my gauage with these types of things!

Also, I have had the feeling that AF was not to far away for about a week or so, but crazily kept POAS just in case it was pregnancy twinges. But each HPT I did couldn't be anymore negative. Yesterday was my birthday and I had a pretty terrible day. I didn't go to work and spent most of the day just feeling sorry for myself and just generally feeling devestated that this is not where I thought I would be right now. My little girl should be 2 months old now. It just made me think of all the milestones and anniversaries that will now be different, I especially think about how this year I would be having my first mothers day. Anyway, I think I am just extra emotional because I was due for AF. Despite all the POAS I wasn't overly hopeful for this month as I sort of sabotaged DTD around O by avoiding DH or picking arguments, I think I was just terrified of having another loss and yet now I feel angry at myself that I didn't even try because there's no chance of getting BFP without DTD, that's generally how it works!
Anyway, I am just putting it down to Mental-Me this month and trying to move on?!
I don't think I am going to take clomid this month, I'm not sure I can handle the extra mentalness that comes with it. I think we will just have a natural cycle and see how we go...

Thank-you for listening, I needed to get all that of my chest!

tilygirl - i dont think you sound mental/over-emotional at all. having close family around you being pregnant/talking about getting pregnancy is really hard, there's no getting away from that. its like a constant reminder of everything you've been through, and are still stuggling with. my sister told me that she would wait for me to get pregnant before trying, i told her she was crazy & to try asap bc you never know how long it might take you. took her the first go & she is 7 months pregnant (you're right, it does make you feel inadequate). its not a very sensitive comment for your sister to make, but do you think your sister could've been just saying that to get the relo's/friends off her back?
i think you did the right thing staying home from work & having some time for yourself, its simply not fair that your little one is not here sharing those first milestones with you & perfectly normal to be emotional about it. better to have these days at home, than bottle them up and lash out at your sister for being insensitive next time she tells the relo's/friends she is waiting for you before having any more children! (although, in my opinion - that would be justified too!). sounds like a natural cycle is a good idea, but dont beat yourself up about not trying/arguing around 'o' time - you can only do so much.

i hope you are feeling a little better today & happy belated birthday - i hope next years is better for you. :hug:

Tilygirl - Huge hugs babe, what a rough way to spend your birthday :hug: If you are upset at your sister I'd have a chat with her and find out if this is really how she feels or if she is just saying it. Let her know if you feel she should just go ahead and try for her next rather than waiting for you. Please don't feel inadequate, it is not our fault our bodies do what they do. There are heaps of women out there pg and with babies who really are inadequate, as people and as mothers, so being inadequate has nothing to do with your ability to get pg or have a baby, the whole thing is just stupidly chaotic! I do know what you mean about sabotaging getting pg though. I have often felt that I have subconsciously stopped myself conceiving to protect myself from the pain of another loss and it was not till I truely let go of my babies that I felt ready to accept another one. As for Mother's Day well you are a mum in my mind. I have a mother's day card someone gave me for mother's day during my second pregnancy (she did not know I had actually already mc) but I still treasure it because to me it represents the fact that someone else acknowledged that even without a baby to hold in my arms I was, and still am a mum. You will always be Lucy's mum.:comfort:

TMS - I can't imagine the pain of those memories :comfort: I hope you get to have a lovely time away with a surprise BFP.

Joeve - You can put me as taking a break on the list if you like as we won't be starting IVF till July ;)

Hi everyone else hope you have a nice weekend.

AFM - I'm glad Donor daddy agreed to the IVF though part of me still wonders why I'm bothering as I have 0% faith in it working. I think it is just so I can know at least I tried. I have appt with FS on tuesday to discuss when we will start and when he wants to do my lap and D&C. I am taking the next 3-4 months to get as fit and healthy as I possibly can so I'll know I gave it everything. I have joined the gym and as of monday it is back to all the joys of 'no fun February' :rolleyes: hmmmm! TTC is so much fun, not!

Sorry girls I am slack with the list :) will sort it tonight :)
Sunbeam I think having no regrets is best so do everything you can to get in the right mindspace.
Tily hugs babe x
Hope everyone is having a nice Saturday

There we go hope I have everything right on the list. I have graduated our BFP girls off the list hope that is ok with everyone and a tonne to sicky vibes to them both x

Quick question, I have been on the pill for 15 days and I still have brown and sometimes a bit of red when I wipe. Its like AF has never gone away. Is this normal? I haven't been on the pill for over 10 years and I never remember this happening before.

yes joeve I have had it for 5 wks now, breakthrough bleedign, just your body getting used to the pill. If you stay on the pill it settles in a few months apparently but we will never know about that lol!!

Thanks Saffy <3
stupid body!!

TMS are you around sweetie? Any symptoms? Sending you lots of BFP vibes x

joeve I forgot to say in my pm that I finish pill next sunday, one more week of spotting yay....then af not yay.....hopefully then no more bleeding for 9 months, I've had enough for crying out loud!!

Thanks Saffy. I think I will be right behind you I will be speaking to the nurse this week to work out dates.

I can't believe how much I have enjoyed this month on the pill lol I know I can't get preg and so I just realised I haven't examined my cm for 2 whole weeks. Go me

Clear BFP this morning joeve but spotting since lunch, no symptoms at all.

TMS: wow congrats in the BFP, i hope the spotting stops for you. how many dpo are you ?

Joeve: good to hear you are enjoying being on the pill and taking a break from thinking about fertile signs lol

sunbeam: good news about the ivf, as i have said to you i think it is definitely worth a go with the new(ish) DD

saffy: hope you are in a good space like Joeve at the moment

for those of you who remember clairesmummy she had her little girl in the early hours of saturday morning, she is besotted with her :-)

10 Minnie, but steering clear of announcing anything yet, haven't even posted in the 2ww thread.

TMS hoping that the spotting stops, please let me know when you want the flashing gizmo BFP :)
Hi MM :)

Not at this stage Joeve, if that's ok?

Of course darling, I am quietly happy for you but totally get that you are comfy yet. I wouldn't without you giving the ok anyway :) fingers crossed xx

Congratulations TMS, I so hope the spotting settles down. Are you having bloods done?

Not for the moment tily, will wait and see how things go but I don't need the added stress of low numbers or good numbers and bleeding at the moment.

If I'm still get positives when we get back from camping I'll look at a blood test then.

a quiet congrats for you tms. xx

TMS - I had a feeling there was a sneaky BFP waiting for you. I hope the spotting stops really soon :stickyvibesgirl:

Hi all - hugs all around :)
TMS - quietly very happy for you over here and I completely understand you wanting to wait it out for now. I understand the fear and frustration that comes with the BFP/ spotting combination!! I hope you can relax a little and enjoy camping...
AFM - I'm plodding along taking it day by day. Time is going very slowly!!

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just letting you all know im taking a break from BB, the last few days haven't been kind to me and im once again about to suffer another loss, the recurrent miscarriage has me beat now

best of luck to you all

I hope no one minds me coming in to say to Minnie, I am so, so sorry :shakehead:

I so wish things were different :hug:

Take care x

I'm so sorry minnie, recurrent m/c is bloody awful and I wouldn't wish it on anyone, I'm so sorry this is happening to you :hug:

Minnie, I was so sorry to see your post. I don't know your whole story but I know how unfair this universe can be. I am so sorry this is happening to you again, my thoughts are with you. Take care of yourself

oh my god minnie, i dont' even know what to say anymore, why is life so ******? you poor darling, xxxxx

Oh Minnie my darling girl I am crushed and devastated for you I just can not believe it. Why does the universe keep dishing this out it's so sad and awful.
Hugs babe I wish I could do more for you.

Minnie, I am so sorry hunni :hug: I wish no one had to go through a loss, let alone multiple losses, the world is a cruel place sometimes. Take care of yourself sweetie, sending you love and lots of big hugs :comfort:

im so sorry, minnie. i havent been around long, but was really wishing for a different outcome for you. i hope you and your family are taking comfort in each other at the moment. xx

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thanks everyone, i can't believe this has happened at the same stage for the 3rd time, we went to ivf in the hope to eliminate this problem but it obviously hasn't made any difference :-(