LT TTC and Assisted Conception Apr-May 2011

:hug:i know how you feel n2l. i'm 39 in a week- not a mum yet and it seems like i will never be.
:boohoo: for both of us.
couple of sad sacks aren't we lol, but birthdays are not something to celebrate when you are lttc!!!!!

Hi girls. I know how you feel. I have been missing in action from this thread for a few months to get my head together, and last week turned 40. I agree, it seems like do not pass the maternity ward, do not collect a baby!! Have been following you all and wish you love, support and some freakin miracles - not too much to ask.

Meg-i would definitely follow up, that just doesnt sound right to me - agree it should cost something, but not the whole amount!!!

Hi saffy - iam good. Very upset after the last BFN - AF arrived 4 days after blasty transfer which to me just doesnt seem right. Had appt with FS yesterday, and he said that was quick, but just means it was never going to happen. He said it was a grade c blasty (which is the first i heard about it) and when i got preggers it was grade b. Glad they tell you this **** after the fact.

Anyway, in the past he has always been totally anti transferring more than one blasty, but this time he was open to it, which i suspect has something to do with my age, although he did say if they were grade a or b blastys they should only transfer one andfreeze the rest.

Hi loops and n2loose. I know we are all going to get there soon - as i said to FS yesterday, i know its a marathon and not a sprint, but sometimes i just wish it wasnt so trying both physically and emotinally.

So anyway, here's to us older gals getting knocked up. Hi to everyone that i have missed. AFM, starting next stim cycle in about 2 weeks when AF arrives, and trying (lots!!) for a natural miracle this month (ha ha even as i am typing it i hear laughing in my head). And if one more person says to me "oh lots of people have a baby naturally after having their firat by IVF" i will snot them!

Bless.

yea sounds like BS to me Meg, how can yo upay for something that you didnt get done?

*hugs to everyone else* Im not in a good mood...going to a baby shower tomorrow, thought i was fine with it, wasn until i was wrapping the pressie... now i'm in such a bad mood, the saddness has been over taken by frustration and anger...Dh is just shaking it off, just asked why im cranky i said 'i told you' and now he has gone to bed. I know there is nothing we can do but **** it!
its weird...this is all normal, its normal not to be pg, its normal to want something you cant have. so everything is just the same as always and normal...so even though i see babies every day, i touch them and help mums look after them. its all normal to have that smile on my face withouth one under neath. even though now its getting harder to fake that smile...
whats harder is every day im seeing more and more mums not appriate their babies...and these poor little ones become wards of the state just because the mums couldnt get a rats arse...makes me so angry!

Hi Girls,

Sounds like everyone is feeling crappy! If there's one thing I've learned through all this it's that you need to feel what you feel when you feel it or it comes back to get you in a big way later...

Nothing2lose- I think I had almost all of those tests before I started my first stim cycle. I remember being stunned at the number of BIG viles that were filled. My FS sent me for all of those because I was 32, healthy, ovulating every month, all the other tests came back normal etc etc but I'd been trying to get pregnant for 3 years with no success. This was before they realised how bad my endo was... I also feel your pain on the weight thing. I've also put on 7 kilos since this all started which has taken me from 60 to 67kgs. That might not sound too bad but it has taken me to the top of the healthy weight range and with another stim cycle around the corner I can't help but wonder if it will happen again! Admittedly, I haven't been doing any exercise and when I feel like crap I tend to bake... I want to drop at least a couple of kilos before starting again so maybe we can turn this into the weightloss thread!!

And n2l, Saffy and jayejaye, although I'm a few years behind you guys, the age thing is really starting to stress me out too. I have a particularly insensitive sister who when I commented recently about how I would be 35 this year and that my age wouldn't bother me except that I haven't had a baby, said "What? You don't need to worry about that till you're 40." Um, yeah that's 5 years away and we've already been trying for 5 years. She also has two beautiful healthy children with whom she fell pregnant on the first attempt. Both times. She also acts like they are nothing more than an inconvenience for her.

Hi Teirae- as I've just come back in I'm not up to speed on where everyone is up to. Do you have another FET planned?

Hugs to everyone.

M. x

Hi Lovely ladies
Although I'm feeling a bit better this week, I have to join you all on the feeling low and crappy train... I hadn't said anything on BB as I didnt want to depress everyone but since we are all sharing.. last week I had a lot of issues with family and friends saying I'm too negative and my dad feels I'm playing the sympathy card with the posts I do on Facebook (he's a councellor and also just worried about the implications) also my sister cracked it with me for announcing on FB how happy I was that I am going to be an aunty again and that she is pregnant (she hates FB). She had told all the family so I thought it would be ok. Anyway to cut a long story short these issues upset me so much, (especially that I thought my sister would have been very happy that I was so happy and excited for her), that I was saying and thinking that I just didnt want to be here anymore. The lowest of low points I think i've ever felt. Anyway im much better now and now I can share with you guys because you understand where my depression comes from, wont judge me and realise that I'm just needing to vent and seek encouragement - im not after a sympathy card. Thanks for allowing me to share.

N2L ~ yep I had to have all those test too - I wanted something to come up and nothing did -so I guess for us its just still the male factor issue.

Saffy ~ yeh I say every time I wont think about any symptoms next month and then what happens... I just can't stop it. I'm also thinking that perhaps one child will be better than none and just pray that one day we may get a 2nd miracle. But yes I feel like my time is getting shorter and shorter and I'm only 31.

Hope we are all feeling much brighter very soon, goodluck ladies and thanks so much for all your care and support xoxo :grouphug:

OKAY GIRLS.....

Thought it was time we do a round-up of where everyone's at.

Could be just me (probably is :lol:) but I am a bit lost...

Who is doing what? Who is cycling when? Is anyone having a break (other than me and Loops?) If so, when do you hope to start?

Happy to make a kind of list thingo if anyone wants...

Hope everyone is having a lovely Sunday afternoon :)

n2l x

:hug:Happy sunday to you all!!

Awwww, loops, big :hug: to you. I agree with what Meg said, if you dont let yourself feel what you need to feel, it comes back around ten fold. I told hubby after last cycle i just need to cry all day for a day and then i will be fine......so he left me alone, and sure enough i could pick myself up again! Otherwise i think i would still have it all inside. I hope you feel better soon - only you know what you need, so dont worry about family.

N2l, i start jabbing in approx 2 weeks when AF arrives. Excited but dreading it at the same time, i am sure you all understand.

Smiles to everyone!:D:D

Where we are all at!!

Saffy - Starting with new clinic, waiting for paperwork...Next cycle ??
N2L - Beginning next stim cycle late July. Testing for everything under the sun in the meantime! Trying to lose 10kg
Jaye Jaye - Beginning next stim cycle mid-June
Teirae - Waiting for AF to start natural FET
Meg76 - Waiting for lap to clear endo
Loops12 - Waiting to begin next cycle :)
Blossom76 - Two Week Wait :pray:

Hi Chicks!

Loops- you poor little thing- it all sucks and it's not fair! I would be ****ed right back at your sister! You are extremely evolved and mature being nothing but happy for her. Not me! I am jealous and bitter of anyone who falls pregnant at the moment! Fortunately my sisters are a fair bit older than me and their baby-making days are behind them. I do have an old friend who started IVF in October last year after 12 months of trying and fell on the first attempt. That ****ed me off too because I feel like she has no idea what it feels like when it doesn't work! Nice, aren't I? But you are right, you do have a safe place here to express whatever it is you are feeling.

N2L- great idea! Coming back in, I feel like I need to work out who is doing what. Unfortunately though, my next step is surgery to clean up the endo before another stim cycle. I'm waiting on the referral from my FS to the endoscopic surgeon because she doesn't want to touch it! That fills you with confidence, doesn't it?! Apparently he is the best in Australia which is great but worries me in terms of how long it will take to get in with him. Hopefully I will know more by the end of this week.

Hope everyone is starting to feel a bit brighter!

xxx

Sorry Meg!!!
I accidently put Jaye Jaye's update next to your name!

Even with a list I can't get it right :lol:

Fixed now!

Hope you don't have to wait to long to see the specialist.

hi all, yea i'm lost too..

went to a baby shower yesterday...wanst as bad as i was expecting, the worst bit was when i was catching up with some friends and them asking how the TTC is going, and having to explain the whole thing..same thing happened at the pub last night when chatting with one of DH best mates, tyring to to bore or drag them all down so just said, yea we are trying IVF, and leaving it at that...

so after all that, what do I do to cheer myself up?? I buy baby stuff! our town had a market day today, and everyhouse had a garage sale, so we were checking it all out and I was chatting to a girl who lives down the road who had a ring sling for sale, was in my fave colours, and was like 1/3 of the retail price...DH encourages me to buy all this stuff now when i get it heaps cheap rather than wait til we need it and getting full price, which i agree with, i'm getting as much 2nd hand/free stuff as i can, but yea...hes not good with the talking me out bit... so I was chatting to her about how i look at ring slings and dont feel they are secure, but she had triplets (!) and said she used to carry 2 in the sling and push one in a pram...so must work....so now I own 3 different types of slings and not a baby...

I dont recommend doing that to cheer you up...

anywho... where am i at..

I am just waiting for AF to come so i can start a FET (i think we will go with natural not stim cause i dont have a problem with Oing..they did say they can stim if needed), so I just O'd this cycle last weekish... so expecting AF in the next week or 2, then we can start again =) we have 2 frosties, so will use one of them I guess.


love to everyone!!!! sorry theres no personals again, im still lost...

Hi LADIES
You all brighten me up so much and are all very much appreciated! The nice sunshine we are having at the moment helps too!

N2L ~ thanks for the list - good work! I get totally lost too. All the best to you with your weight loss and the lead up to your next cycle. :pray: the next one is the one for you (4 us both)!

Jayejaye ~ thanks so much hon, your support means everything. 100% agree with that too and I do feel I need to do what I feel is best for me not worry so much about what the family thinks. Excited for you about starting another cycle - :crossfingers: for an up-coming BFP for you! Goodluck with the jabbing.

Meg ~ thanks hon for the shoulder to lean on. Believe me I do get a little bitter occasionally, I think it is only natural for us having been TTC for so long. I'm pretty close to my family so I guess thats why it hurt so much as well - but when it comes down to it I just don't want any of my family or close friends to have to go through what we have. Completely understand why you'd be upset with your friend though. Thats why its so great we have each other in here - hugs!

Tei ~ baby showers do tend to be hard - I can't wait for the day that mine will come.
I think we should be proud when we face our friends and families' baby-showers. Goodwork. I get tempted to buy baby stuff all the time and I do have some things but I do tend to stop myself. The further we get along I start to say why though, perhaps I should buy stuff - it may jinx us in a good way :lol:
Hope AF comes soon so you can get started - all the best for your FET, I've heard natural is the way to go if you can. :pray:

Saffy and Blossom ~ hope you're well. Goodluck with everything

:pink-babydust::bluedust: for us all and :grouphug:

Hi girls,

Loops- sorry your family can't give you the room to vent without passing judgements, that must have been hard for you. We are always here as you know and we understand xx

Teraie- hmmm, babyshowers...difficult. I get the same thing at work with questions all the time " how are you going with your IVF", what can I say? "good thanks"!?! without going into the whole details, its hard to just brush people off.

meg- my acupucturuist said you (as in everyone,not just you) put on 2 kg with each stim cycle so it is a losing battle!! I am trying really hard to keep my weight under control too before it gets out of control. Did you have any progress on the payment issue?

N2L- thanks for the list, hopefully i will have a more definate timeframe soon. Are you feeling any better??

jayejaye- that sucks about your last cycle, sounds very strange to get AF that soon, I wish FS's would have an answer for things like that rather than "i don't know why that happened". The same thing happened to me when i did an FET earlier this year. How frustrating, no chance of embie implanting when the lining is shedding straight away!!!
I would have been really annoyed if I were you.

Blossom- hope the tww is treating you well.

AFM- went to acupuncture this am to try and bring my AF on, been cramping since so fingers crossed!

Thanks Saff ~ I know you ladies are the best! And I'm always here to listen as well and offer my support where I can of course, xoxo
Goodluck - really have FX'd tight AF arrives within the next couple of days!

Hope everyone is well today!

I just spoke to my nurse about when the next rounds will be that I may be able to do. If I started the pill now I could do the July cycle. Bummer we dont have the money. So looks like it will be September. So now I'll be hoping it flies around. I'm happy to have a trarget time :)

Tei ~ hope AF arrived and you are getting started.

hi everyone.
I'm still around. but I go through phases where i'll be on bb every minute and spamming the boards, and other times just the thought of it makes me sick.. I think I'm in the latter atm. So I might not be around much, but remember I'm thinking of you all, I always do. and I'll deff. be back when AF arrives and things start happening again I'm sure, I might even be back before...but we will see. I'm sorry, I know it is selfish of me to only be here when I need it. but I do still think of you all.

Loops ~ the fact it costs money bites so hard! so much money spent (and wasted?) on something that should be so easy. I'm sorry to hear you have to wait a bit longer. *hugs*. although it is good to know something will be happening at some point. I take it that means your hubby is better? and ignore your family =Poh and I'm currently cd20.

Saffy ~ whats the accupunture like? is it worth a shot? I actually work with a woman who has her own bussiness and does it. I have heard so many good things about it from different people. I just havent done it. Can you just go for ****s and giggles, or do you need to have a purpose? like when would the best time for me to go? When is your next step? whats happening once AF comes?

Hi N2L, Meg, Blossom (how you feeling any signs?!? when do you POAS??) Jaye Jaye

*big hugs everyone* (altho only a cyber one cause i have a cold =( )

hi everyone,

Teraie-don't feel bad, just come in when you need! We aren't going anywhere unfortunately lol. Acupuncture is very good, it doesn't really hurt. My acupuncturist specialises in fertility/pregnancy. Usually I go during a cycle and have a break between but it is good for stress as well. Give it ago!

Loops- shame you can't go in July, but yay for September- its good to have a goal i agree

Hi everyone else :D

AFM- well AF never came-boo- just had heaps of cramping but the good news is- I finally can start my cycle, embies arrived today in new clinic so I have started provera for 7 days then I should get an AF :clap: bout bl00dy time! I wish it would have happened naturally but oh well, got to force these old bod's to do what we want I suppose. Can't wait to get into the tww again- god am I sick in the head or what!?!?!

Thanks Saffy.
It appears i lost a week.. Im actually day 28 today.. So things dont serm so dire =)

sent via my vortex manipulator

Hi Ladies
Just a quick one as I'm at work - nearly home time though.

Tei ~ thanks hun and FX'd tight for you this cycle!

Saff ~ Hope the Provera brings that nasty AF round quick and then it will be no-time before you're in that TWW!

Thanks again for all your support lovely ladies.

Test this morning showed BFN - whats new hey :(

Anybody out there....
Hope that means everyone had a great and busy weekend.

Well I'm frustrated - keep looking at all the signs and possible symptoms again. AF has not shown up yet and the last few cycles shes come at around CD30-32 AND I'm now CD34, so basically shes late, my temp has been very high for me in the mornings at around 36.8dC, my BB's are sorer than normal, I have pimples and cramps but I'm getting a headache this morning and thats not a good sign :shakehead:. I'm too scared to test again, so sick to death of BFNs!!

Hi Loops,
I am sorry to see that you are feeling crappy and just wanted to send you a big cyber hug. Also re your previous posts re insensitive family/friends.... you are one of the most optimistic ladies out there in LTTTC land and I admire your tenacity. People just don't realise how hard it is to pick yourself up again and again, month after month for YEARS at a time.
Hang in there hun :hug:

Hope all you other lovelies are all OK xxx

Thanks so much Tantee - really appreciate that. Yes you're right, family and friends that havent been through it just dont understand. My dad (the main one that was worried about my so called negativity) has been through a lot, he's lost his daughter, had a bad divorce (from my mum), had to deal with step sons recovering from drug addictions plus more so he does know what pain is and was really only looking out for me but he wouldnt I guess understand this kind of pain - so it is very hard dealing with families in this situation etc. I'm just so appreciative to have great friends on here that I can chat to about the way I'm feeling. Thanks for the warm hugs - hugs back xoxo I'm still hopeful for this cycle - well trying to stay as positive as I can but at the same time don't want to crash again.
Tuff but I do manage to soldier on - sorry for the dribble LOL

I too hope everyone is well ~ :pray: for BFPs for us all! :bluedust::pink-babydust:

How is everyone? Better than me i hope.. Im cd 34 no af... Im offically overdue... Im sure it has something to do with all hormones and whatnot from before. im freaking out though cause as of 4/7 im going to be working 1 1/2 hors away for 8 months (2 different places) we dont have a choice we need the money.. But that makes me 3 hours from fs.. Too far to be able to have appointments and still work and be reliable... So my first concern is if af doesnt hurry the frak up ill miss my window... and then if this cycle doesnt work we will have to take a break for the 8 months and in all seriousness that will kill me. I think i will need to go back on meds...and that will mess things up in otherways. *sigh* im only just hanging on atm... End of next week i finish work here and have a break for 2 weeks. 2 weeks with no babies is going to be heaven...and saying that and looking forward to it makes me more sad cause its not who i am...and in terms of my work im becoming someone i dont like...and everything is really making me not want to be a midwife any more...cause it hurts too much and as a result i feel im harming my women cause i just cant give anymore....
I hate who i am becoming.
Sorry to throw everthing out there i didnt mean to it just all sort of came out.

Im giving a drop of love to all you girl its not much but i feel i only have a few drops left.

sent via my vortex manipulator

Addit ~ how do you do it Saffy???

Pps i only asked Saffy cause.she is also a midwife. i guess it is also how does everyone else do it....i feel bad complaining and giving up when all you girls have been doing this for twice as long at least

Teirae- :hug: sorry you are having such a hard time, it is not easy, especially after the first cycle, I was sure my first cycle was going to work and was shattered when it didn't.

It is very frustrating to not have AF arrive on time after a cycle, but it can be normal, I really hope she comes soon, the pressure of timing with cycles is really hard. It will work out hopefully, but talk to your clinic, often you don't really need to see an FS in the flesh so to speak, and some doctors can do phone appts, would that make things easier? I presume you would be doing an FET next time ( sorry I am on advanced and can't remember if you have a frostie), they are much less appts, scans etc than a stim cycle so it still might work out.

As for work, I think you will find after a few weeks off you will miss it! I always do. You are going through a bad time but it won't be like this forever, you are grieving over your loss with the bfn, which is understandable but you will eventually get back on your feet again :hug: For me, I try to look at it as - I don't really know other people's journeys to becoming pregnant, so just because someone is in labour having a baby doesn't mean they haven't been through a tough time as well, and they need my support for this next stage. It can be difficult, but I was a midwife for a long time, long before i was TTC so I guess it makes it easier to seperate myself. I get really upset if a friend or relative gets UTD but funnily enough i don't mind seeing bellies and babies all day at work. I also like cuddling hte babies then coming home and being able to have 8 hours sleep lol. It helps that i work at a private hospital, a lot of our patients are in their late 30s, and have done ivf, so I often tell them I am doing it too ( and get some ivf tips lol), I think they like to talk about it with me cos a lot of people wouldn't understand what they have been through. Stick with it hun, you will be a better midwife in the long run for it, and will have a better empathy and understanding. Give yourself some time to grieve, and I'm sure things will look start looking better soon :comfort:

hi everyone else, hope all is well.
I am on my last provera tablets, so hoping AF will arrive tomorrow or the next day, I would be on CD 60+ by now, (stopped counting lol), then all systems go for FET inthe next few weeks.

Hi guys,
Haven't been on much over the past couple of days. Cut a very long story short I am about to head off for a MRI to see if I have ovarian cancer.
I have posted about it in the Need Prayer pages.
Life feels a bit sucky right now.

Chat soon x

Nothing2lose ~ (((GBH))), lots of :pray: for you. Hope it turns out to be a false alarm hun, FX'd. Will be thinking of you. x

Tei ~ :hug:. Must be tough being in that job, but like Saffy said as least you dont have to go home to a baby screaming the house down all night :) I know though - I feel sad all the time too and want those things. Hang in there - our time will have to come one day soon. x

Saffy ~ exciting - all the best! x

AFM ~ some of you may have seen in the other threads that AF is late for me, I've done a couple of Lullaby Conceptions tests that have been very faint positives however I did a Clae Blue Digital and that came up as "Not Pregnant" :( Last night and today I've had bad headaches and before I had some pink mucous, think AF may be coming. So for about a half a day I was excited - still have to hope I guess given this has been a completely a la naturale cycle and to get a BFP after 5yrs 3 months of TTC I guess is pretty wonderful no matter what the outcome.

Nothing2lose - I am so sorry that you going through this terrible time :hug: :hug:. My thoughts are with you and I will also be :pray:'ing for a positive outcome for you at your scan. I hope you have some good support with you and sending you lots of :hug: :hug: :hug:, xoxo

N2L - just wanting to send you giant enormous :hug:. I am hoping with all my might that everything is ok hun.

Loops - everything crossed for you chick that there may be a little natural miracle in the making

A big :hello: to all you lovely girlies out there. I thought it was time I popped my head back in here, going into another cycle. TBH, since our last cycle in February, a lot of crap has been uncovered - DH had a DNA frag test done which came back high, my nice blood-clotty anti nuclear antibodies are still creating havoc, my thyroid isn't that flash and to top it all off, my sister and I have been diagnosed with a very rare bleeding disorder which, among other things, is notorious for causing miscarriages. So quite frankly, we may as well be doing this cycle for a laugh because the chances of it actually being successful are about zip. However, this cycle is like an itch I need to scratch and despite everything, I have this compelling urge to do just one more. This one will be our last though. At the moment, I am on the pill and start jabbing on June 27th with a microdose flare and 300u Puregon :o which is a huge dosage for me

Sounds like we all need a great big :grouphug:, thinking of you N2L and hoping you are ok

Well it definitely looks like a BFN afterall :(

Thanks everyone for all your support and crossing of fingers for me :grouphug:

x x

*hugs Loops*

and massive hugs to you N2L. no matter what happens remember we are all here for you.

I'm now Day 1! =D yay! well.. aside from the cramps and yuck feeling...but yay, means we are a go for this cycle. haven't called the FS yet to say I'm day 1.. I'll do it tomorrow.

I had a break down last night, a blubbering mess about everything to DH. One thing was 'where the frak is my period'... and now today I'm *****ing 'I have my fraking period I hate it'... DH just stared blanking at me going...I really can't win here cause first i was complaining i didnt have it, now I'm complaining I do =P

ahh well. I feel in a better frame of mind now. might even feel i have more support for you wonderful women. you are all beautiful people and I would love to meet you all and give you all hugs and babies (;)).

Just got a one line email from my FS ----

"Scan extremely reassuring no evidence of sinister pathology"

WOO HOO!!!!!!!

Tei- we must be connected ;)- I got AF today as well, never thought I would be so happy to see her rear her ugly head :rofl: Good news for you, that means your next cycle is ok doesn't it?

:grouphug: to everyone having a hard time, its such a hard road.

N2L

!!!!!!!WHO HOO!!!!!!!!!!!

:dance: :dance: :dance: :dance:

:happyforyou: :happyforyou: :happyforyou:

FANTASTIC NEWS hun - yay! :hug:

Thats great N2L!

oh sorry N2L I wasn't ignoring you, we posted at the same time- congratulations again!!!

Thanks so much everyone :)

Needless to say we were REALLY relieved to get the news. Mind you it consisted of a one line email from my FS - "Scan extremely reassuring no sinister pathology".
Woo hoo! A little light on detail but I will take it!!

For those who weren't sure what happened, a little run down....Following the BFNs after the transfers, my FS ordered blood tests for me and DP to check for chromosomal and other disorders. She also re-did FSH, glucose, thyroid, etc, as well as my CA125 levels.

CA125 stands for Cancer Antigen 125 which is a tumour marker for ovarian cancer. It measures a protein in your blood which, when normal is below 35. A few years ago, when I first had this tested by my GP due to family history, my levels were 69. Everyone freaked out (me included) and I was referred to a gynae oncologist at the Royal Women's here in Melbourne. I had scans and tests and it was revealed I have adenomyosis (similar to endometriosis but your endometrium invades the muscle wall). That also can account for evelated CA125 levels.
Anyhoo, it is something I have to have tested periodically (six monthly or so) and the highest it has ever been is about 150 (a year ago when I started AC).
Cut to the recent test and it came back as 739 :o !!!!
The scary thing about this is that 739 is the sort of level that women with stage 3 or 4 ovarian cancer have. My FS ordered an immediate MRI and had the results cc-ed to an ovarian cancer specialist at the Women's. In the meantime, I spent the week crying, thinking at the very least I would have to have a hysterectomy :( , chemo and radiation.

Ovarian cancer is probably one of the worst cancers you can get (not that ANY cancer is good). Each year 1100 Australian women are diagnosed and 800 die from it. The odds are very poor. It is so insidious, there are usually few to no symptoms until it is too late.

Anyway, to get the news that I dont have cancer is amazing. I mean really amazing. With those CA125 levels, to not have cancer is almost the sort of thing articles in medical journals are written about. Trust me, I have spent the past few days googling it!!!!

So DP and I cracked open the champagne last night! I feel like I have been given a reprieve. I still havent spoken to my FS (I have an appointment on Wed) so I dont know what is causing the high levels. I can only assume it is the adenomyosis. Or perhaps endometriosis???? Whatever it is, I am praying it wont prevent us from continuing TTC. And doubly praying it doesnt mean a hysterectomy is on the cards.

So that's what I have been up to this week. I wouldnt wish it on anyone.

Hope everyone out there is well :)

love n2l x

PS. In a funny twist (which seemed kind of cruel at the time), my cd2 FSH level came back as 2.5 :o Not sure why I am a poor responder because those levels are great!

Hi Girls,

Sorry to have been so quiet but I have been keeping an eye on you all. I've had a mad couple of weeks with deadlines and the like.

N2L- I just wanted to drop in and say how glad I am that your scan didn't indicate anything ominous. I can't imagine how torturous this has been for you. Fingers crossed that you have had your share of drama and only good things are ahead.

Sorry for the short post- need to get back to it. I hope everyone is ok and looking forward to a long weekend.

M. xx

N2L ~ phewww, so happy it wasnt anything sinister - there is too much cancer in the world - really scary. I'm so happy all turned out ok for you. Hope its just endometriosis and they can just get rid of it. All the best :pray: for you

Have a great long weekend all - I actually have it off this time and will be drowning my sorrows up at the winery walkabout with my girl friends!!

Loops ~ Have a brilliant time! drink and be merry!!!

Meg ~ Hope all is well with you, where are you at?

N2L ~ That's brilliant!! what a horrible scary time for you. Hopefully it is just from your previous dx and nothing new. and really really hoping it doesnt get in your way. *hugs*

Saffy ~ How are you sweetie? Now that your AF is here whats going on for you? anything happening this cycle?

Melissa ~ WB, I have every crossed for this cycle. oh please please please!!!!

Hi Coral! *waves*

AFM ~ Firstly great news here =) I am a mummy =) our new baby puppy was born yesterday! we haven't met him yet, but I can't wait to. and really can't wait for the 6 or so weeks til we can take him home. =)
secondly, I called the FS today to say I was day 2 and keen to do a FET this cycle. We had a chat and apparently t/f 2 embryos is an option for us. I always thought it wasnt until we had been doing this for years and i was getting too old. apparenly no. this cycle if we want we can do 2. DH and I had a chat about i, and thought well seen as after this one we will have to take a break with me working away etc.. we are going to t/f our 2 timelocked embryos. I'm pretty excited about this. double the chance of getting pg right? I know the risk with it - multiples etc.. and I know the risks they bring with pregnancy etc.. but I'm willing to chance it. besides..i've always seen twins in my future...one of those things. but I will be just as happy as long as i get 1 baby.