Registered User
Hi Grub
I really enjoyed reading your story! Congrats on your success and I do hope that a natural miracle sneaks in before you try your frosties - 3 of my friends who've done IVF have had that happen to them so I have the same little hope for myself.
I really identified with something in particular - I look forward to hearing the midwife yell 'push' to me in the next week or two, then maybe I'll finally believe I'm having a baby too!!
xo
Registered User
thanks Ali. and i still pinch myself! It's funny how used you become to being the ones without kids and the people it never works for. by your ticker you should have a little bubba about now. ENJOY! ox
Registered User
Here is our story - it is partly taken from my birth story, but have added some bits in. Sorry for the lenght!
On my 29th birthday, I blurted out to DH (a little drunkly at the time) that I thought I was pg. This was a shock as neither of us had really planned on kids. In 48 hrs we confirmed a BFP with a POAS and were planning which room the baby would sleep in and had considered names…what a turn around! 24 hrs later, a trip to the GP to confirm, and it was a BFN. Don’t know what happened but seems don’t always trust a POAS! After this we decided that having a baby was not such a bad idea so we would stop the pill and ‘see what happened’…
I’m not the kind to let things just ‘happen’ I plan, and then they happen. I looked into natural fertility, charted, and after 10 months decided that this was not ‘just happening’ and that my cycle was irregular, and we needed help. My GP referred me to a gyno, I had some blood taken, and at the same time DH needed to have his swimmers counted just to be on the safe side…happy DH…not. But he did it – fully believing that it was problems with me that were holding up our baby plans – not him!
So in Dec, I went to the gyno, who had DH’s results in front of him. He looked at me, said I was fine (no examination etc) but we needed IVF to have a baby, and gave me a referral to a FS…but no he could not tell me why we needed IVF as DH was not with me. I read upside down the notes which said low numbers and motility. That night I had to tell DH that we needed IVF because of his sperm…prob not the way to do it, but DH was about to be deployed to fires and was not going to be going to a GP to get the results any time soon. We were both in shock!
Due to some family issues, it was not for about three months (Feb) or so that we finally went to see FS for first time. At that appointment it was confirmed that we needed to have IVF, plus we needed ICSI. We had approx a 1 in 1million chance of falling pg naturally. We decide to not do anything until our new house, 3 hrs from where we were living, was built and we had moved.
At this stage my drive to have a baby was much greater than DH’s. He would have been happy not to start IVF, and to just be us, without a baby. In contrast, I was obsessed – I really wanted our baby and I wanted to get on with the IVF. This caused a lot of stress on our relationship and I can only new look back and be amazed at how wonderful my DH was at this time – I put him through hell!
In August, we moved from Melb to our new house in the country. That Dec, we start IVF in Melb – we tie appointments in with my work which involves frequent travel to Melb. Neither of us want to find new FS where we live. FS tells us we have a ‘good chance’ of falling pg from the embies from our first pick up. At this stage, DH says that he is prepared to only do 1 cycle of IVF.
From our first stim cycle, we collect 8 eggs, of which 4 fertilise. We get a BFN from the fresh transfer. We go for a frozen transfer and lose one egg in the thaw and put one back. We now only have one frostie on ice. We get a BFN from our frozen transfer and go into another natural cycle. On the day we are waiting to hear what time our transfer will be the next day, we are both in Melb for meetings – me in the city and DH in the suburbs. I am in a meeting when the phone rings and my FS is on the other end of the line. I go into a little meeting room and burst into tears – I know that as it is the FS calling and not the nurse, that our last embie has not made the thaw and we now have no embies left from our first stim cycle. My heart is breaking. I call DH in tears and say that I am on the way out to him and that I want to go home. I go into the meeting room where I had left my work stuff – pick it up and just leave. I have tears streaming down my face and I don’t care who sees me or what they think – my world has just fallen apart. I pick up DH and we drive the 3hrs home in silence.
DH agrees to second cycle. I make a pact to myself that if I fall pg I will not complain, and will not circulate pictures of my baby to ‘everyone’ on email as I find it hard to handle when LTTTC and undergoing IVF. We only tell some family we are doing IVF once we are well into our journey. My family is no support, and DHs family support is limited.
I obsess over stats and become convinced that there is something else not ‘right’. We get a few more eggs and embies on our second cycle, and decide to have 2 embies transferred each go to speed up our chances of a BFP. I dream of having twins. We get a BFP but have low HCG (chem pg) from our fresh transfer, but the pg does not progress and we end up with an angle baby. I am devastated and just want to curl up in a ball and rock.
As soon as we can, we decide to have a FET. At the time I go into see the FS, I ask for additional blood tests to id reasons for implantation failure. I had been doing much research and am convinced that something is not right with me. One week before our ET, when going in for a routine scan, am told that I have tested positive to antinuclear antibodies (ANA’s) – these prevent implantation. I grieve for all the embies I have lost because my bodies inability to hold them – I feel that I have harmed all these little ones, but no one understands my loss. Am put on aspirin and heparin, after being told I have antiphosphlipid syndrome (APLS) although I have not tested positive to another antibody that usually makes up this diagnosis. We finally get out BFP! Six weeks later we see our DS heartbeat for the first time – not twins – we have lost one, but we have a baby. The next 37 weeks are stressful although the pg is relatively normal; it is classed as high risk due to the APLS. Our beautiful DS is born by emergency c section on the 29th July 2009, to parents that love him with all their hearts.
Useful info on failure to implant that people may be interested in...
https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...formation.html
https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...y-testing.html
https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...g-implant.html
Registered User
Just thought it was time I posted in here!
DH and I have been together since 1997. I always wanted children but DH was a little less keen. We relocated to London a year later and spent time travelling and being generally responsibility free until we decided to buy a house (2001) and get married (2002). Around the time we got married DH was less resistant to the idea of children. We had a lovely family home and good jobs etc etc. We started doing that type of TTC where the woman is actively TTC and the man is just sort of not doing anything to stop it!! I knew we would have problems because I had never had a regular cycle. I had been diagnosed with PCOS at 15 and was told it would take time to conceive. This sort of made me a little more insistent about actively TTCing to DH as I knew he didn't have the luxury of me just accidently getting pregnant and then him getting used to the idea, which seems to be how men like to approach TTC!
So anyway I had been to see a TCM doctor about regulating my periods but still no success. I started to get some periods but still no pregnancy. I didn't use HPTs but relied on symptoms. Unfortunately my PCOS sometimes causes symptoms that are exactly the same as pregnancy symptoms, so I had many false alarms. Once I had all the symptoms even the metallic taste and got my hopes up. I then got the worst period of my life. I needed to be injected with a painkiller in A&E because the cramps were sooo bad. (Actually looking back on it since having given birth they were exactly like labour pains) I sort of think it may have been an early miscarriage. They couldn't confirm a pregnancy at the hospital but I had been having heavy bleeding for two days before admission so perhaps there wasn't any HCG left.
So fast forward to 2004 when we decided to sell the house and move back to Australia. We travelled around Italy and Japan on our way back and I spent the whole time thinking I was pregnant because the symptoms were back. We arrived in Australia and those hopes came crashing down again with a visit to the doctors. I had got to a stage where I was hoping for that movie type scene in the docs surgery. You go in for something else, they do tests and shock you with the news that you don't have gastro but are in fact pregnant!! I walked out of a few doctor's surgeries in tears because I thought that time it would happen. Silly.
Anyway now TTC became serious. I was buying HPTs by the dozen and finally starting buying the cheapies online. Never ever saw a second line even on the OPKs. DH was on board fully and we were advised to try metformin and clomid with the GP. Three goes didn't make me ovulate at all. Decided to go to an FS. We have moved to North Queensland by then. Went with QFG. Found DH had morphology issues. Can't remember why but we abandoned TTC and moved back to Brisbane in 2006. Still did the HPTs though.
Went with QFG in Brisbane. Tried FSH injections and I produced no eggs. Tried again on a higher dose and produced too many follicles for a natural at home 'insemination' FS suggested IVF right there and then as he said we had the right amount for IVF. Next minute we are talking to a nurse about the cost. DH and I have a tearful session at the coffee shop downstairs. DH convinces me that we cannot afford it and we should start private medical cover and come back in a year. I feel sooo frustrated that for the first time in my life I have eggs ready to fertilise and I can't!!!
Roll on 2007 and we go to a naturopath, lose weight and get healthy. We decide Australia is not for us (job issues family etc etc) So in the month that I would have been starting IVF, I am on a plane to the UK. I go straight to a doc here. She says I have waited too long and refers me for IVF and ovarian drilling ASAP (all free on National Health Service!!) 6 months later I have the drilling. I start to get periods. Every 40 days but they are regular!!! I have tons of scans on day 12 which really pees me off as I know I do not ovulate on day 14 but about day 25!!! But they won't listen. I am determined that I will get pregnant if I give this drilling success a chance. A letter arrives from Guys Hospital asking me to start IVF. I send back a 'please delay' letter saying I need more time to see if the drilling will work. Another letter arrives, I delay again. Finally after 6 months (and a couple more IVF letters) my FS is getting impatient with me. He tells me that if the drilling was going to work it would have worked by now. I still refuse to believe him and want to give the drilling more time.
Well the next IVF letter arrives. I grit my teeth and say to myself 'I am going to have to get this bloody IVF cycle out of the way so I can get back to concentrating on getting pregnant!'
So we do the IVF and have all sorts of calamities with snow delaying consultations and wrong deliveries of drugs etc but everything seems to go smoothly. On the day of transfer I got this funny feeling and started crying in the waiting room. DH asked me what was wrong. I told him that I just knew our little baby was in another room around the corner. For the first time in 7 or so years I could actually visualise us having a baby and I knew he was soooooo close. Just up the corridor and around the corner, waiting to go home with his mummy and daddy and he was. For the first time in my life, two weeks later I had two lines on an HPT. DH said to do another test. I just said 'no that is enough'
Anyway got to go...my little one is waking up wanting a feed!
Good luck ladies!!!
You can read the Birth Story for some more information, but here's the gist of our TTC (in a nutshell!):
I went off the Pill in June 2006. We actively TTC'd for about 12 months, and had tests done in June-August 2007. DH's sperm count was bad, with poor morphology, low count and poor mobility (trifector!). I was told I had polycysts on my ovaries, but not PCOS.
We saw a naturopath, had acupuncture and CHM, and saw the FS in December 2007. He recommended ICSI, but we decided to hold off for awhile and keep TTC with some natural interventions. By the time we were ready to try IVF, it was December 2008. I did the Down-Reg stim cycle with gonal-f, synarel, etc, and had an EPU in January 2009. We collected 18 eggs, 15 of which were fertilised. We froze 14 of them at Day 2.
We had a total of 7 transfers. The first six were Day 2 single-transfer embryos. The third transfer resulted in a chemical pregnancy. By the time we reached our 7th transfer, we only had 6 Day 2 embryos left in the freezer (we lost some in the thaw process). We decided to thaw the remaining 6 embryos to Day 5 - and out of that we had 2 left, which we transferred. We got aafter our 7th transfer, in September 2009. We have no frozen embryos left, so if we decided to TTC#2, we'll have to go back for another stim cycle.
Archie, our little ICSI man, was born in June 2010, 4 years after we started TTC. IVF and LTTTC was a hell of a ride, but it now makes up part of who I am, who we are as a couple, and I suppose that's the road we had to travel.
When beginning IVF, there are always lots of questions and emotions - don't hesitate to ask, vent, cry, and seek support and information. And good luck!
Registered User
19 months later - about time I get my act together!
We had always planned to have children sometime between when I was 25 and 30. It was all meant to be over and done with by the time I was 30 years old. Unfortunately, at age 25 the start of some quite serious health issues hit. I was diagnosed with a weird mosquito-borne virus (Barmah Forest Virus - similar to Ross River Fever), this became post-viral syndrome which eventually become chronic fatigue syndrome, which was eventually changed to serum-negative rheumatoid arthritis. My immune system had been kicked into over-drive and now couldn't switch off and was attacking my joints causing severe pain. Throw in a car accident and an injury to my right hand which took months to recover, then severe headaches where we went through all kinds of testing (eyes, CT scan, MRI) and eventually ended up at a neurologist who diagnosed stress and started me on medication for it... I was now a few months off turning 31 and had spent five years simply managing all the health issues that my body had thrown at me.
In December of 2005 it was quite accidental. The medication I had started on basically knocked me out and made me sleepy very quickly. I was on the pill which at that stage I took at night before bed. It was during the week of my period and I'd take the anxiety medication and fall asleep without taking the pill... and I continued that pattern into the next week without realising. A couple of weeks later when I finally had the guts to tell DH that I'd completely forgotten about taking the pill we decided that I was finally well enough to contemplate having children and we began trying in earnest.
I still remember the length of that first cycle - 35 days. I was quite devestated as I came from a family with a long history of falling pregnant the first time they tried. And on the first day of my period I got an email from a friend telling me that she had just conceived the first time they tried... I became quite used to that feeling.
In February of 2006 I got a positive pregnancy test. They say false positives on pee sticks are impossible - but I now know that they are NOT. A blood test with my GP came back negative, a follow up home test I'd done was also negative. But no AF. My GP sent me for a scan which showed PCOS, and sent me for blood tests which showed slightly elevated male hormones and confirmed the diagnosis. In April of 2006 I started on metformin. I began acupuncture not long after, which continued throughout my treatment. In September I was given a script to start clomid. In October I begged a script for provera from a Dr friend of mine so that I could actually have a period and start clomid. During that time my DH had been sent for a semen analysis and we were told even more devestating news. Low count, bad motility, poor morphology. DH had mutant sperm that couldn't swim and not very many of them at that! The gyno that I have since refused to ever see again gave me the news that clomid had not made me ovulate while I was walking along the main street of Rozelle towards acupuncture. He dropped the news on me that IVF was our only hope during that same phone call. Fantastic bed side manner, NOT!
It was discovered that DH's poor sperm was down to a varicocele. Our GP gave us a referral to an IVF specialist, but also suggested that DH consult a urologist. The FS was against having the varicocele repaired so we left it for a bit. In December of 2006 we walked through the door of the IVF clinic for the first time.
In January we returned for the results of more tests. My PCOS was way worse than anyone ever suspected and my dosage of metformin was increased and I was put onto a special diet for four weeks and at the same time was put on the pill for four weeks in preparation to start IVF. It was the same one I'd used for 13 years, so didn't expect any problems. Unfortunately when I began taking it I began to bleed... and bleed... and bleed... I ended up in an after hours GP clinic over the Australia Day long weekend demanding s prescription that the doctor I'd never seen before had never heard of and couldn't find in MIMS because it was spelled strangely. Fun times. But I was soaking through a super tampon and a pad in less than an hour and was close to passing out most of the time.
In early March it all began - synarel. Failed to respond. Attend clinic for a scan which discovered a large follicle - while taking clomid I had failed to ovulate, but while taking synarel I'd grown a lovely follicle. Strange body. I was given a trigger shot which didn't lift my hormones enough so I then had to take primolut for a short period of time to induce a bleed and then finally we began with lucrin this time. I got to start hormone injections over a weekend trip to Tamworth with my church. After 5 days of puregon injections I had again failed to respond. My dose was doubled and after four days I was brought in for another blood test. Too much response! I then had 9 days of daily blood tests and reducing the dose of puregon until I finally got in for EPU where 26 eggs were collected. I had developed a nasty case of OHSS so there was no transfer booked. Of those 26 eggs, 20 were mature, 15 fertilised and 4 grew to blast and were frozen. We thought we would never have to go through another stim cycle again!
My FS used letrozole to induce ovulation for a natural FET cycle. In early June I had a transfer of my first blastocyst. Morning sickness kicked in three days later and my blood test was positive. We had achieved a pregnancy and were absolutely ecstatic! It all seemed too easy. Just over two weeks later our scan showed everything as it should be... but two weeks after that I was back in the IVF clinic for an emergency scan after some scary bleeding over the weekend. It was the first day of term and I'd called in sick that morning so we could have the scan. I walked in convinced that we would be walking out feeling silly for panicking with a few more pictures of our growing baby. We walked out devestated. My baby had stopped growing and I was booked for a D&C that night. I later connected the time my baby had died with the time my GP had suggested I reduce the dosage of metformin to help me cope with morning sickness.
I spent several months on a break from IVF. I had terrible problems with depression after the miscarriage and spent some time in counselling. We consulted with another FS who confirmed that I did have auto-immune problems leading to miscarriage. I had too many natural killer cells in my blood. They are an essential part of the immune system, but with too many of them they can attack and kill babies in utero. I'd been on 10mg of prednisone for my arthritis and was told that regardless of what happened with the arthritis I had to stay on 10mg at all times while undergoing IVF and increase to 20mg with each transfer.
We eventually went back to our original FS and had another transfer. Unfortunately this was the last of our frozen embryos. One was used for our first transfer and then two had failed to thaw for this one and so our last one was put back. A few days later morning sickness kicked in and I was confident that we were back on track. Unfortunately, AF arrived on the due date and I was confused and devestated. At our final blood test we had a very low HCG level - My embryo had tried, but failed. October of 2007 saw our second miscarriage.
We began another stim cycle - this time terrified as I knew just how bad OHSS could be. But we had a new plan and my FS was confident we could avoid it. Unfortunately my first blood test showed that we were in trouble. I went off work on sick leave because I was too stressed to cope. I ended up missing the last month of the school year as I was admitted to hospital for a week with bad OHSS. This time we had 32 eggs collected. 30 of them were mature, 20 fertilised and 7 grew to blast. This time we had used polscope with ICSI instead of just straight ICSI. With 7 embryos in the freezer we again thought that we would never have to do another stim cycle.
January of 2008 saw our third transfer. Two embryos had failed to thaw, but number three was fine. Unfortunately it all happened the same way as in October and we lost our third baby just before the school year of 2008 resumed. We booked in for a fourth transfer - we had some more thaw failures but one looked ok. We arrived on the morning of our transfer to be told that our embryo had stopped progressing over night but they had thawed another one that morning and it looked fine. After three previous miscarriages it was almost a relief to hear the final result of HCG zero at our blood test. Another FET was booked - We had two embryos left and I was very nervous about whether we would actually get to transfer. The day before I got the phone call - one had failed but the other was fine. I was excited but still very worried after our last experience. Unfortunately, while I was getting dressed to head in for transfer number 5 the phone rang - our very last embryo had failed over night and with nothing left it was back to the drawing board. I stopped getting dressed and put my PJs back on and went back to bed.
Our third stim cycle. I was PETRIFIED. We couldn't wait to time it well enough to have things happen with holiday time to recover. I was on notice from school after having had so much sick leave the year before - if I had another long period of time off work I would lose my good year 12 class and never get another. I began puregon injections at the start of the term one holidays and had egg collection on ANZAC day. This time we'd had a lower start, another drug was introduced to help prevent the OHSS from developing and I'd been put back on the horrific diet. I still had daily blood tests, I still had my dosage of puregon reduced constantly, but when I went for EPU they were confident that I would get to transfer. Things got a little shakey at the end as one blow out of the diet nearly threw everything out and I only narrowly avoided OHSS that time.
Our hopes were very much up and down with this cycle. 20 eggs were collected. Unfortunately only 12 of them were mature and only 3 of those fertilised. We elected to have a day three transfer instead of growing to blast with so few embryos. Repeating some blood tests had shown a possible issue with blood clotting in pregnancy - lupus anticoagulants, so aspirin had been added to the combination of metformin and prednisone. It was our first fresh transfer so I really didn't know what to expect. I certainly didn't expect to start having issues with morning sickness around a week before my blood test! I think I wrote everything off as down to the pessaries so I was actually genuinely surprised when the pee stick the night before my blood test was positive!
My numbers at the official blood test were quite high - they had refused to tell me as they just wanted me to focus on enjoying (ha!) pregnancy. Our scan at 6 weeks and 3 days showed everything to be perfect. We had our first OB appointment booked for 8 weeks and 6 days, which was a day after our first miscarriage. Everything fine. More scans at 10 weeks - fine. 12 weeks - fine. 18 weeks and a single umbilical artery was diagnosed. I was initially freaked, but was then told that it would simply mean more scans. At 18 weeks they were worried the baby would be small. At 24 weeks everything was again fine and he was perfect size for dates. At 32 weeks everything was still fine but they started to worry that the baby was too big.
We had what turned out to be our last OB appointment at 35 weeks and 6 days, it was a Thursday. Our OB was now worried that the baby was quite large and booked us in for a scan on Monday in case they needed to talk about inducing me at 39 weeks. I had the GBS swab done and was told to go home, rest, put my feet in support stockings and keep them elevated... never doing that again!
One thing I found out later is that prednisone not only makes you fat in high doses, but it also generally increases fluid levels in the body. When the support stockings forced the fluid out of my feet... There wasn't too many places it could go. My waters broke around 4am on the 19th of December 2008. I was only 36 weeks! Contractions started around 6am and at 7:30am when we arrived at the hospital they were only 3-4 minutes apart. I was a little scared that things were progressing so quickly and that we were so early! But a friend had given birth at exactly 36 weeks in early 2007 so I had a fair idea of what we were in for and that things would ultimately be ok. I was also concerned that my baby had flipped to be posterior when he hadn't been that way the entire pregnancy! When the back pain became too much I asked to be helped into a different position to see if that helped before we tried pethidine or an epidural. At the same time a scalp clip was put on as I had to be monitored constantly due to being pre-term and every time I moved with a contraction the monitor would lose the baby's heartbeat and freak me out. I was at 5cm when I was put on my knees leaning up over a beanbag... The baby flipped around at the same time and I went from 5cm to pushing in the space of two contractions. All this time and we'd only been using gas. By the time I decided I wanted more it was too late.
I won't go into the full details of our birth story as they were (for me) quite traumatic and are posted elsewhere on BB. But our son, Samuel Angus was born at 12:48pm on the 19th of December 2008 at exactly 36 weeks gestation. He was 2480g, 48cm long and had a head circumference of 33cm. No monster baby at all - just a very long and skinny one. We spent 10 days in special care nursery attempting to establish breastfeeding, but it never worked out. Our first Christmas as a family was spent in hospital - which was unexpected, surreal, but also perfect and beautiful at the same time. Samuel is now 19 months old - if we add the time of to how old he is now we still don't even reach the length of time that we spent trying to get him, so even now it still feels a little odd to be parents - but at the same time it also feels like it has been forever and I couldn't imagine life being any other way.
BW
Registered User
To anyone reading this looking for hope - don't give up! As you can see there are lots of success stories - here's ours...
I'd been on Depo Provera for about 3 years when DH and I decided it was time for a baby. I had my last depo shot in July 2007 and was due for one October 2007 which I didn't have, and AF arrived in December. For 18 months we tried to conceive naturally and I even tried Maybe Baby to help with timing. Finally mentioned to my GP that we were trying and she suggested some tests. I had mine and they were all fine so DH went in for his. The GP thought his were okay also but referred us to a FS who redid all our tests. Our second appointment with him he quite bluntly told us that DH had low sperm count, and poor morphology and motility and that IVF/ICSI was really our only hope. He did say it wasn't impossible for us to get pregnant without it but that it could take years and years and we didn't really have that. So we started straight away on an antagonist cycle - I injected myself with hormones, and then to stop myself from ovulating. Although I was quite worried about the injections beforehand I found them very easy once I was used to them. First cycle I had 5 eggs at the epu which I was a little disappointed with but the FS said was fine. The day of our transfer I had a phonecall from the FS saying that of the 5 eggs, 3 had fertilised but had all developed multiple nuclei and they don't transfer those as they mostly end up with bad outcomes. To say we were devastated was an understatement - we had been out shopping and both DH and I cried all the way home. We saw FS the next week and he said we could go straight into another stim cycle but it was up to us if we were emotionally ready for that. I knew i'd be worse if we waiting to so we launched straight into it. We upped my dosage of Gonal-F this time but I still only had 7 eggs at the epu, 6 fertilised and 3 of those again developed multitple nuclei leaving us with 3 eggs. We transferred 2 and the dreaded 2WW began. I have a short cycle so I was pretty sure i'd know before the blood test if it had worked, and sure enough the Sunday before our Wednesday bt I POAS and it was a BFP! DH didn't quite believe it though I did the test daily, until we had the official test and the official phone call. I had a fabulous pregnancy with no symptoms (I HIGHLY recommend acupuncture, I did it throughout my pregnancy) and at 41w2d my gorgeous little boy was born. He's now just over 7 weeks and we fall more in love with him every day.
Though ours wasn't a terribly long ART journey, it was still a huge journey for us. I found this site to be an absolute life saviour throughout the process and couldn't have survived without the support of the wonderful ladies I met here.
So wishing everyone all the very best of luck and may you be posting here yourself soon xx
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