LTTTC Two Week Wait 2013 # 4

Thanks myturn :) I did ask you to slap me if I wanted to test! haha. No desire ATM, see what the weekend brings lol. I think that's where I went wrong the last two times, I was testing everyday, sometimes 2 or 3 times a day, hoping against all odds the blank window was going to display that second line, even though in my heart of hearts, I knew it wasn't the news I wanted. I am just scared of not seeing that second line, that's what's keeping me from buying those tests. If I am strong enough to stay away from testing for the next week, I will definitely test the night before the BT. I'd rather be prepared in some way if it's NGN xx.

sneeking in....

wishing Miss B all the luck for a sticky one....Don't stress about the symptoms I felt absolutely nothing when I got my BFP I was sure it was going to be a negative...sneeking back out

Awww, thanks Terry! You're a darling to pop in here and wish me luck and share your story. I think all the cramping and sore boobies and whatever else, is caused by the progesterone. Oh well, next week will tell I guess.....thanks again for your good wishes hun xxx

Sneaking in...
Best of luck Miss B I'm stalking! Sending lots of baby dust and sticky vibes x

Crossing everything for you missb! Xxxx

I'm sneaking in as well - in my head I agree with everything that myturn said... 100% correct in theory (and practice)....

BUT I'm a 'tester' from way back... Sorry I cant help it... And I feel as though someone need to get on Joeve's bandwagon (Joeve I really hope my memory serves correctly and it was you that said you are the encourager) so that am actually getting on the right bandwagon, and not dragging you onto one - you were never on in the first place (sorry that Asa super weird comment)....

My point is - I'm all for POAS, I always convince myself between 5dp5dt that if it's a neg then there's always tomorrow.... I think rom memory I got my bfp with the twins 8dp5dt.... And it was late in the afternoon (and I'd had a neg POAS that morning)...So if you need any encouragement Miss B - I'm here for you!!! :)

I agree also with myturn testing the day before or day of BT is a good way to go if your not going to POAS beforehand. I just don't think I could handle hearing negative news from the phone call?

Juniper and TT40 are you going to / have you already POAS?

Sneaks out (to return post transfer on Tuesday) - at lest we will get a couple of days together Miss B before you move to your due date group:) for any MKR fans - I've adopted tresne's positive reinforcement ideology - where if you think it will be, it will be.

Xx

I POAS this morning (10dpo) and got the usual "shadow" of a line, which I get on BFNs... Only tested because I've had nausea since yesterday... Guess it's just my sinuses making me feel icky... Might test again tomorrow, but only have 1 test left, so will see how I feel in the morning...

Juniper - isn't that super exciting??. When you say a shadow of a line do you mean like a feint line? One that is there but is a squinter?

My first test at about the same time was so feint I held it up under a million kinds of light - so doesn't that mean that you have hope?

Also I'd be thinking the nausea is a good thing? No?

I have everything crossed for you. TT40 have you heard from your clinic?

Xx

I called the emergency number, she said if she needs to go in she'll look it up for me. Their phone hours are only mon to fri. So i couldnt ring withoit using the emergency number..
She did call me back today but couldnt find the result. So she is going to chase it on monday.

TT40, sorry to hear you're stuck waiting. :( :hug:

3rdTL, no, I get shadows like that on the tests when they're BFN, so it's not a cause for excitement...

Hi ladies,

TT40, that sucks that you'll have to wait longer! Sorry hun :(

Juniper, is 10 dpo a bit early for you? GL tomorrow hun :crossfingers:

3rd time lucky, I'll have everything crossed for you on Tuesday next week! Oh gosh, I hope I get to move to a due date group next week, lol.

Bunnyfeet and Sarah, thanks for the wishes ladies!

Well, I did something silly on Thursday (9dpo) and pee'd on the stick and of course I was traumatised to see only one line. I don't know why I didn't wait to test till today! lol. So I swore off testing now till next week Friday, the day of my BT. I know it was too early to test, but the day before I had some strong cramping...I have had almost no cramping since then, instead I have this 'gurgly' cramping (sorry can't explain it better, it's like AF is about to come). Boobies are sore but it really feels like it's progesterone related. So I have a gut feeling this hasn't worked :(. Sigh.....

Sneaking back in to give Miss B a huge big hug. We will make a non POASer or you eventually xoxoxox sorry babe. You know rationally that it was way too early. So try to leave it at that - and stay busy!!!!!

Thanks myturn, what ever will be will be I guess....yes, I am keeping very busy lol.

I'm officially PUPO with a single blastie - so if its okay I'd like to come and hang out in here?

It's super quiet in here.... I hope maybe some other ladies will be joining soon? Miss B and Juniper I'm really grateful that you are both here....

My BT is next Thursday. I can imagine I won't be able to not POAS, the only real question is 'when' will I POAS. I'd welcome any advice on when is the most realistic time to start, I always start too early and I don't want to torture myself this cycle.

Xx

Congrats 3rd time lucky! Looks like your stay in here will be super short. Crossing everything for you hun. I normally had a result about the week after transfer hun. With my 6 day blastie (my DS) I remember I had a transfer on a Saturday and a very faint positive a week later on the Sunday. With my 2 day embie (I got pg but m/c later) I got a positive 6 days post transfer I think. Now, no testing for me though, I am just put off for life lol xx

Asses Miss B thank you. I have to admit I am a bit put off after today as well! It's a bit disconcerting testing to see whether the trigger has gone and getting a feint line - on the day of your transfer! I only started today because didn't want to wait 2 or 3 days post transfer and then cave and test - get a feint line, get my hopes up, and then discover the line has gone a few days later as the trigger disappears and I'm an idiot..

Maybe I am actually put of POAS as well... I've decided after today that I am going to go as long as poss without testing and try and just go off symptoms and intuition.. Today's experience freaked me out!

Juniper I'm thinking of you and have everything crossed AF hasn't arrived.

Xx

Noooo! You have to keep testing now hun lol, you'll drive yourself crazy wondering if the trigger is still there or not!! I think n2l said it takes approximately 10 days for the trigger to leave the system counting when you trigger before the egg pick up in a fresh cycle....but of course yours is a FET so it's different.

Miss B - OMG excellent point!!!! If I stop I won't know?

What a nightmare..... So does that mean I have to test everyday from now until the line disappears? Grrrr

I triggered last Tuesday so today is day 7 post trigger..... The counting never ends.....

Thank you so much for pointing that one out!

Xxx

Nooooooo! If POAS makes you feel crap - doing it every day will make you feel crapper! You don't need to know if the trigger is gone, you will find that out in two weeks whether or not you test! Make the decision based on how you want to feel every day.... I know my own mental health was better for not testing.... That's not the same for everyone, but you make the right decision for yourself, regardless of what others would do.

To be honest, i actually think, in my professional opinion (and I mean it!). It's not helpful for most people to obsess that much. I understand the rare few might benefit.... But I think for most people ... It doesn't help....

Just sit with the knowledge that our trigger worked.... It is ten days until it leaves the system.... Live in the illusion and try to enjoy it and just "live", take the pressure off yourself to know or not know.... If it's going to happen it will, and testing won't increase that chance....

I know its hard. I really do... And if you need to test before BT I totally understand.... But don't take up all your brain power living in the what ifs..... You will miss the journey along the way, and who knows what unit are missing that IS happening a round you.... Important life moments that you won't get back...

Just my opinion... For what it's worth....


Sorry for bossing.........will sneak back out again....

Miss you all daily, and wish you could all join me soon xox

LOL myturn - I love your bossing! Your still a superstar and my IVF hero so you can boss as much as you want:)

You are right, mentally it's not great to be testing everyday, but I will want to POaS before my BT and I know I won't be able to trust the result in my head. Hence, I am going to test on day 11 post trigger and then not test again until the morning before BT. I think that's a reasonable compromise?

Also my almost 5 year old ate a progesterone pessary this morning!! He thought it was a Lolly (stolen from my handbag). He spat it out, and I shouldn't laugh, but it was pretty funny. Explaining to him what it was (something for the garden - it was all I could think of on the fly) was not so funny! Neither was cleaning up the vomit that came shortly after.

Harder still was explaining to our nanny what it really was... This TTC ac stuff is not for the faint hearted!

Xx

Is there anyone out there?? Or in here?

Xx

Well I'm technically still in here, sigh. Have been bleeding all day long, heavy too (sorry tmi) I guess with the extra progesterone my lining was nice and thick. My BT is tomorrow but I just can't bring myself to go. Do I have to have the test? I'm sure I've come across posts of women who didn't bother going for the BT once AF showed up before the BT.....

Oh Miss B, so sorry to hear about the heavy AF:( I'm the same after the progesterone, I always bleed really heavily. That said, I have really heavy AF without the pessaries so I share your pain on that one! Re the blood test, you don't have to go if you don't want to - however my FS has always told me I should get the BT, even if I have got a negative POAS beforehand because they like to see what your other levels are doing at the end of the cycle regardless? However - it depends on what your FS tests for? Eg I know some clinics only test for pg - eg: HCG only, whereas my clinic tests for the 3 main hormones as well as HCG (oestrogen, progesterone and LH).... Maybe youncould ring your clinic and explain yout situation and hownyour feeling - and ask if therenis actually any benefit in having the BT if you feel like it hasn't worked? They may do the whole "some people can still have a period even if they are pg thing" - which tbh I find pretty unhelpFul when your already feeling like crap. I know there is merit in what they are saying from a medical perspective, but us ltttc'ers know our own bodies pretty well... If it were me I'd just be asking for their advice and what your personal FS wants you to do. If they get insight from this cycle for your next cycle - then I would probably do the BT (even though I'm sure a visitnto your clinic and the ensuing phone call is probably thenlastbthing you feel like!).

I'm so sorry your going through this. I wish there was something I could do to lessen or numb your pain:( I know it doesn't help - but I'm here for you, and I think of you all the time and try and do deals with the universe so you get your happy ending. I'm sending you all thenlove and hugs in the world.

AFM - Miss B it seems as though you and N2L were correct today is day 10 post trigger for me, and no second line. So it seems as though the trigger has left my system. I am not feeling any signs or symptoms... Which is bothering me a bit. Sore boobs yes, sore lower back tick, tiny cramping yesterday - but I know this is all from the pessaries:( Mentally I was feeling quite positive about this cycle, I started with a hit of the mindset of, of course it will work - it worked last time, why wouldn't it work. And I've been super busy which helps, but last night I started second guessing, not feeling any symptoms etc and then this morning, even though I know it's too soon to test, even if it has worked - getting the negative should have made me feel better (at least I know the trigger is gone) but it didn't, it made me feel like crap! As darling Amy_jb has said - it's too early and don't worry, she didn't have any symptoms and neither did I with the twins (I had mild cramping with the twins but that wasnprob from the pessaries as well) - but with the twins cycle, I just felt so positivenit would work.... And now I'm stressing and actually thinking, well what if it doesn't work??? And I don't know why I feel so shocked that I'm even thinking that? I should have been thinking that from the beginning - but I wasn't....

Soooooo I'm feeling a bit lost. Today is 3dp5dt - if I was going to have an implantation bleed - roughly when would it - or should it happen? I know there aren't many people posting in here, but stalkers if you are stalking - please feel free to jump in with any knowledge, personal experience or advice - when would an implantation bleed happen if it was going to happen? And while I'm asking - does anyone know where to find the chart that outlines what happens each day in an IVF cycle post transfer? I remember when I was in the 2ww with the twins - there was a chart somewhere on here that outlined what was happening 'in there' each day after transfer on a day 3 transfer and a 5 day transfer? Does anyone know where I might find this chart? All I can remember was I think that day 3 after a 5 day transfer is when implantation is supposed to commence? I think?.... Okay so I've been going really well in the 2ww until today... Nowi can feel the obsessing and stressing beginning:(

Xx

Popping in as a stalker- I never had implantation bleeds on IVF cycles, only from natural pregnancies for some reason. One was about a week after ovulating, one was the day my period was due.

I also didn't have symptoms at 10dpt, if I ever had symptoms on a successful cycle it was closer to when period was due, so try not to freak out about symptoms yet, I know it's hard.

There's nothing you can do at this stage to know either way, so just try and hang in there. I spent the last 2ww googling everyday - symptoms 8dpt, symptoms 9dpt, etc,etc, it drives you mad but it's impossible to just relax.

Good luck Hun, crossing my fingers for you

Sneaking back out xx

Thanks Saffy! I don't think I've ever known it to be soooooo quiet in here?

X

Sneaking in... I never went for my BT when I did my IVF cycle as I knew it was AF and no way did I want them to call me and tell me what I knew. They got a bit cranky that I didn't go.
Yes it is quiet but you have lots of stalkers ;)

Yeah so keep giving us updates ;)

Stalking too, but not much positive to add. Like saffy I only ever had implant bleeds in my natural pg and not the ivf ones.... I have no idea where to find the charts, I don't think I have ever seen one.

Good luck with everything, thinking of you all

I think myturn used to post a chart at one time, not sure if she stalks here

Well, I didn't go for my BT today, so they rang me and told me I still have to come in. Bugger, I already know what they gonna tell me!

3rd time lucky, I never had implantation bleeding in any of my pg. I can't compare natural v IVF pg, as I've never (not to my knowledge anyway) had a natural pg. Lack of symptoms, well, I don't believe I had any in my very first successful cycle. I guess b/c I didn't expect it to work the first time, I wasn't looking for symptoms. I do remember waiting for AF and it just never turned up, so I might have had cramping thinking AF is on the way, I really can't recall. And I might have had sore boobies, but I wouldn't have taken that as a symptom as I get sore bb a week before AF. As for the testing hun, I can honestly say I know exactly what you mean about the doubt creeping in. I would say don't test anymore until the night before your BT or if you really want to, test 6 days post your transfer. I've always had a result either way around 6 days post transfer, but I know some ladies don't get a positive until right up to the time AF is due. Big hugs in any case hun, I dread the 2WW now, I wish we could know straight away! lol.

OK, I'm copying from what myturn one posted for a 5 day transfer :

-1dpt - embryo is growing and developing
0dpt - embryo is now a blastie
1dpt - blastie hatches out of it's shell
2dpt - blastie attaches to the site
3dpt - implantation begins
4dpt - implantation process continues and morula buries deeper into the lining
5dpt - morula is completely implanted
6dpt - placenta cells begin to secret HCG
7dpt - more HCG is produced
8dpt - more HCG is produced as fetus develops
9dpt - HCG levels are now high enough to be detected on a HPT

:

---

I think myturn used to post a chart at one time, not sure if she stalks here

---

She stalks.....

Also that chart I posted wasn't totally correct as the morula comes before the blastie... N2L taught me the one.... But anyway... It's something to work from....

Ps... Miss.b... Can't tell you how sorry I am babe :( so so sorry xoxoxo and the hugest hugs xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Thanks Miss B! This is the one, :) brings back memories from 2012... Super grateful.

Saffy, Mrs O'M, and Joeve - thank you both for popping in, and miss B for sticking around! Alright, alright - you've twisted my arm... I'll stick around it would be selfish of me not to keep the stalkers entertained! :) No I'm not bring sarcastic I seriously feel its my duty and the least can do, to not have to be doing this journey in my own... Is bad enough DH is overseas!

Tonight I have sore boobs and lower back pain and instead of working on a presentation i have to deliver on Thursday (yes the same days as my blood test) I slept for 3 hours this afternoon. I haven't been sleeping very well:( Same as being pregnant, constantly getting up to wee... Thanks for the side effects pessaries... Just the 4 kids and I for the weekend.. So fingers crossed the girls sleep for a few hours each day so I can try and get some work done! I don't have much else to report, which isn't very exciting for the stalkers:) At least the trigger is gone and yes I will not tsp now until Wednesday morning (or knowing me possibly Tuesday morning, when I get sick of myself and am stressed out trying to get into the new week... One thing I won't be doing is testing over the weekend. I've promised myself I won't do it. Love to everyone and hope your having a great Friday night xx

No worries 3rd time lucky. Will have my fingers and toes crossed for you all the way :crossfingers:

Thank you myturn for the hugs, really means a lot hun. The buggers are making me come in for a BT on Monday, I really don't see the point, but anyway, gotta go on the record I suppose..

Bugger Miss B - sorry you have to go in for the BT I hope that it as least adds some value for any future cycles you may decide to do...

AFM - I can't sleep more than 6 hours a night, I wake up and can't get back to sleep?? I'm so tired.. I'm craving cheese. Sorry to bore you with that useless piece of information, but with DH away I have no one to talk to really. We are not telling any of our RL friends what we are doing. They don't understand. And my 3 BFf's have all chosen not to have children. So they understand even less. I have a very slight ache on my left side at the front very low, just above my Caesar scars. It's only noticeable because I'm paying attention... And that's it:) such an exciting update! I have nothing to cook for dinner and as my 12 year old just said "this fridge is an abomination" it must be bad cause he offered to watch the twins while I went food shopping! Unfortunately, as amazing as he is - he's just a tiny bit young to leave with 2 babies for 40 minutes. One baby - no probs but 2? Not really fair... So it looks like we all have a date with the supermarket:) xx

Thanks hun :). How did the supermarket shopping go? lol. Hopefully the little blastie is snuggling in there :). Wow, that's hard with all 3 BFFs choosing not to have kids, it must be hard not to have that support and understanding. All my close GF have kids, so I have great support, and out of the 4 closest GF I have, 2 had to go through IVF, so they really understand what I'm going through ATM.

Hey Miss B - I'm so glad you have understanding GF's in RL! I would love that! Yeah it's really interesting, with my 2 clsest BFF's they are both 41 and both said "if it happens it happens (around 5 years ago and ever since then) but if it doesn't happen then it's obviously not meant to be". I personally don't understand this approach. To me having children is like anything, if you really want something badly enough, you'll do anything to make it happen. Both have amazing husbands, who would be brilliant fathers, and would have loved to have kids....

One of them went to my FS, and had tests, DH had MFI and she said she just couldn't face IVF and all the tests etc. I think it's really sad, but I have learned just to bite my tongue rather than risk the friendship. I think all 3 of them will regret their decision when they hit their mid 40's and they are no longer fulfilled by overseas holidays and nice restaurants, but hey they are my best friends, so I just support their decisions and they all spend a lot of time with my kids.

AFM, the supermarket was a nightmare! But I had to vote as well so it had to be done.... I am starting to get nervous and anxious now. For the first time since the twins were born, I went back and looked at our 2ww in 2012 on BB. It was so weird to see all the things I had written then, I am feeling and writing now again! Scary also that I got my bfp on 6dpt5dt - which is tomorrow (I'll be day 6pt in this cycle). I feel sick about has it worked, or not worked... DH keeps texting me from the other side of the world asking about symptoms, have I tested yet, can I hurry up and POAS etc, which isn't really helping my state of mind! I'm conflicted about if to POaS or when to POaS. I remember in 2012 I tested on the morning of day 6 and got a negative and then I tested in the afternoon and got a very feint positive. Maybe I will wait until tomorrow night, and then test? I have the sorest boobs I've ever had, but I know it's just from the pessaries. It's been kind of nice to have all these preg symptoms, it's reminded me of what being pregnant is like, and how happy I was when I got my last bfp. I know I am going to be absolutely devastated if this cycle hasn't worked. I normally have a really strong intuition about things, but this cycle - I am really confused. I'm so scared that it hasn't worked and that I will be heartbroken and it's just been so hard not having anyone to talk to IRL about anything - not even my mum! I know what everyone would say - you already have 4 kids, isn't that enough blah blah blah, and don't get me wrong, I am incredibly grateful for our babies, we are so lucky.... But that doesn't make the wishing and waiting any easier. In some ways I wish I had just had my transfer so I could have another week or wishing and wondering... On the other hand I can't wait any longer..... Aggggghhhhh the 2ww is such a roller coaster:( So I will be testing, the real question is when. I feel like I have never wanted anything more in my life! But I know I'm not the only one there - everyone on the journey feels the same.

Miss B, thank you so much for still checking in, in here. I can imagine that you might just want to stay away from the 2ww and have some space. It means so much to me that you are still here (that said I would totally understand if you cant or don't want to be in here)... It's really kind of you to care and keep me sane in the process and I just want you to know how grateful I am! Day 5 post transfer today....

Xxx

I think you have some good symptoms there third time lucky, so I would be getting those little sticks out soon.......I'm gonna get in trouble for saying that .....don't let me pressure you, just crossing my fingers xx

Right that's it.... Saffy has spoken (and let's face it I didnt need much of a push:) ) in the interests of fairness (and this stupid uni assignment that have been trying to work on for the last 3 hours during twins nap time) I think we better wait for any conscious objectors (who may or may not be stalking - myturn we need you!!! - and I'm not being sarcastic in case that's what anyone thinks) who want to pop in and remind me it's too early!

I know in my brain it's too early... But my cheese and chocolate craving emotions, I cried watching the Biggest loser re run (ridiculous I know) are forcing me towards the pee sticks!

Soooooo I know I'm going to get a neg, but if I force myself to 3 more hours study (DH's best single mate has just turned up and offered to take all 4 kids to the park for a few hours - I don't know why he doesn't have a woman, seriously what kind of childless bloke turns up and offers to take your 4 kids for a few hours so you can get some stuff done?!!!!! He's a dead set catch! Anyway, back to original train of thought..... My reward for my study, is going to be a POAS (unless someone talks me out of it). I'll get a bfn, stress overnight etc etc and then re-test tomorrow.

Plan? Xxx

:

---

I never had implantation bleeds on IVF cycles, only from natural pregnancies for some reason. One was about a week after ovulating, one was the day my period was due.

---

:

---

Like saffy I only ever had implant bleeds in my natural pg and not the ivf ones....

---

I was the opposite. I had a bleed with DD (at 14dpo & 15dpo), but none with my other 3 (natural) BFPs. I read that implantation bleeds are more common with IVF when the woman is taking low-dose aspirin (or other blood thinners) as part of the protocol (which was the case for me - I was on low-dose aspirin during the IVF, but not for the natural BFPs). Ironically, my 3 natural BFPs were also my 3 m/c - so I had no worrisome bleeding for any of those.

:

---

I never went for my BT when I did my IVF cycle as I knew it was AF and no way did I want them to call me and tell me what I knew. They got a bit cranky that I didn't go.

---

I just had to call my FS's office and report that AF had started. They never wanted me to come in for the test if AF had already started. With my IUIs last year, I generally skipped the b/t even though AF hadn't started because I had tested at home and knew the answer already.