Sorry, not up to personals today. Feel like the world is crashing on me atm

Past 2 days I had beun to feel fairly confident i was actually pg. Usually i would have very strong AF cramps by now - not happening, plus I've had sore BBs and yesterday felt quite nauseus at times.
With all my other IUI cycles, this has always been a great sign and I have always done HPT around this time (12dpo). My "gut" feeling has always been right and if I think I am pg then have always been greeted with two strong lines.
Well, feeling confident, I did HPT today. NO second line. Not even a hint of a second line when I squinted!.
So I would have to say a defnite BFN for us and must be the whole IVF which is messing with my body. I know everyone will come in here and say "its to early" or "don't give up until your BT'" but i KNOW there is no chance. I have been pg 5 times and even though all but 1 were not sucessful, they all gave good strong BFP on HPT so a -ve HPT IS a BFN for me.
I am more shattered than i ever expeced to be. Had to call DH ome from work. I was sooooo hopeful for this cycle and just still in shock I guess. This year has just been bad news after bad news after bad news. I just don't know how much more I can take.
To add to that, I am stressing already about what we do next. DH thinks we should just go back to IUI and take our chances without PGD. He is worried not only b the costs, but also thinks all our embies were damaged by the testing. I can see his point given our "drop off" from 14embies and none frozen but I am also terrified of having more m/cs. Haven't got appt with FS until the end of Jan. I REALLY need some questions answered before then.
So sorry for the rant, I know everyone in here has faced failed cycles. I think I am just reaching the end of my tether at seeing our dreams slipping away faster by the day.