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Thread: Need some advice

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    adelaide SA
    Posts
    116

    Default Need some advice

    Hi guys, I don't usually post here, but I need to get some advice, I hope you don't mind me intruding.



    My best friend is struggling with TTC, it's coming up to a year now. She really wants to have kids, and is very involved in her church, where a lot of young couples are having families.

    I had my son in 2003, and am now pregnant with number 2. I just told her about it, and I feel awful!

    I want to share this special time with her, but I don't want her heart to ache anymore. She is my sons god mother, and my closest friend. I am trying to be guided by her, and am not saying any of those dumb things, like "just relax" etc.

    I empathised with her, and said it must be so frustrating to see those around her getting pregnant, and all I am saying to her is "You guys are in my prayers" and "I know you'll get there one day, you guys will be great parents."

    What else can I say or do? I don't want to feel like I cant share this with her, or that I have to apologise for being pregnant, but at the same time, I want to be sensitive to her needs.

    Any advice?

  2. #2
    dolphin22 Guest

    Default

    Hi qhi,

    CONGRATULATIONS on your pregnancy!!

    My best friend fell pregnant and it took her til she was 20 weeks pregnant to beable to tell me because she didnt want to hurt me. It took me a few weeks to come to terms with it and she left me alone until i contacted her. I was happy to be apart of her pregnancy now i am happy to be apart of her 9 week old baby. Im so glad i didnt let my TTC pain get to me.

    Im sure she will be ok, i guess just let her bring the subject up of the pregnancy. Dont feel awful about your pregnancy, im sure she will be apart of it once she gets over the hurt (if it has hurt her).

    I hope i have helped in some way.

    Take care and im sure things will work out

    Cindy

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    222

    Default

    Hi qhi,
    One of my closest friends is pregnant with her 2nd one at the moment and I am so glad that she shares her experiences with me. I love her like a sister and we support each other. You sound like a really awesome friend and I bet your friend is so glad to have you!
    It really makes a difference when there is someone who just listens and is there for you.
    SAM

  4. #4

    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    3,658

    Default

    Dont ever feel bad about telling some one your PG. Its a wonderful time for you. They have to understand its not your fault there having problems.

    Just be there for her, let her talk to you and all I can say with her going to church is to have faith. I was the same but never felt bad about my friends falling pg but I didnt have that much faith but that all changed the more I prayed. Im TTC again with IVF and I have all the faith in the world and know im going to have more kids. Good luck!!

  5. #5
    SlowCoach Guest

    Default

    Hi qhi,
    there is a thread somewhere else here called something like "the 10 things you least want to hear", listing a lot of the more hurtful things that TTC people have had to deal with. I think the one things all those hurtful comments have in common is that they ASSUME something about the listener - either about how they think or feel or where they are in the concenption process.

    I guess the most sensitive thing to do is ASK your friend how much she wants to hear/share/talk bout/know.

    My mother is swinging wildly between ringing me up and bellowing at me to be more positive (her form of tough love!) and simply avoiding me. I would love for her to just ask whether I want to talk about TTC or not on any given day. (In fact, given the mood swings, from hour to hour or moment to moment!) With the whole rollercoaster going on there are days that are euphoric and others that are dismal.
    Slow Coach

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